Spinning,
I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and that I am so so sorry to hear your news. I just lost a much wished-for, much hoped-for :DD: at 18 weeks (she was found to have died some time before my anatomy scan), after multiple losses (some chromosomal, some unknown). So I do know how it feels to hear unthinkably bad news at an ultrasound. It is one of the saddest and hardest things I've ever experienced.
I have no advice for you, except to say that everyone tells me to wait and grieve before making any decisions, and this seems like a good idea. Sometimes I too think we are done having kids, and sometimes I want to be pregnant so badly I can't sleep or sit still. I do believe the sadness will ease in time, and I also think (hope!) that knowing I am not the only person to go through something like this and survive it makes it easier to bear.
I am so lucky in that i already have two beautiful children, and on some level, I know our lives will be okay even if #3 is not to be. Holding them, kissing them, keeping them close to me--these are all things that bring me comfort.
Hugs to you.
