Originally Posted by
belleboi
I go through waves of panic. Some days I'm totally fine not knowing what gender this baby is, then some days I feel like I NEED to know either way. I'm just a bit over 4 weeks now, so I still have a looooooong way to go. I'm just nervous in general though. I so desperately want this baby to be a boy, and now that I'm pregnant I feel like my "chance" is gone, if that makes any sense? It's either one way or the other now.
At least DH is excited either way. He's been my little cheerleader when I'm feeling down. He knows I want a boy, took his supps and watched me take mine every morning, but I don't think he knows the depth of my want. If we hear girl with this one, I just don't want him to know my disappointment. I'm going to do some real soul-searching in the next few weeks to try to come to peace with all of this either way. I do NOT want to have GD with this baby. At DD 2's ultrasound I cried when they said girl, then was so overwhelmed with guilt for crying...ugh. I don't want to go through that again. I'm sure some of you can relate.
Anyway, sorry for the novel! I've just been on overdrive lately in my head:)