yes came on to see if update as not on fb x probably too busy enjoying their beautiful girls
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yes came on to see if update as not on fb x probably too busy enjoying their beautiful girls
How did your app go? Sounds like you have a great team supporting you - it makes such a change that help is available when it is needed. I hope the anti-d's help xxQuote:
Originally Posted by charlieispy
To be honest I am not good at asking for help. I've always had to be 'strong' from a young age so it's in my nature to get on with it - not always the best option I know! I have been diagnosed with depression previously by my GP but I refused anti-depressants. The health visitors have picked up on it when I have had app's with the boys asked me the fill out the usual questionnaires but I'm never 100% honest as I can't deal with feeling like a failure if I say I'm not coping. Im hoping my depression will ease after baby is born - I always have awful depression in pg and feel immediately myself again once baby arrives - strange really!! Obviously the GD will still be there but I know will be able to deal better with it when I am myself again. Luckily I have always bonded immediately with my boys so I'm not scared of rejecting the baby even though I don't feel any bond as yet - I am very ready to meet my little man - I'm just not ready to accept my future as a mum of all boys!
Do you feel better when you have spoken to the therapists about your GD? Can you talk to your DH/ family too?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2monkeyboys
Thanks Hun xx
I am not close to my MW at all - this is the first pg I have had her so no previous relationship and I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to her. I'm like you, hardly anyone knows about how deep rooted my desire for a girl is and I don't tell people how I'm feeling. So I do bottle it up and take it out on my DH mostly which is not something I'm proud of but I am trying my hardest to deal with it better - I'm not good when pg in the best of situations so I know my DH and my boys long for this baby to arrive just as much as me so they can have their mummy back!
Would you like to ttc in the future if things improve?
Inglewood ~ hope all went ok and you are having lots cuddles with your baby girls....have been thinking of you xx We need pics!!
Pinga ~ have a lovely time in Sydney x
Hope everyone is having a good week. Hoping to bake Easter cakes tomorrow with the boys :)
Evening all,
Keep looking for updates on these little girls! So exciting :)
Babymad, I totally feel exactly the same as you and know if my last chance of a girl was a boy I would spend the whole time with inner turmoil without revealing it. My dp doesn't emotionally support me at the best of times so he would be no help. Tbh I think he is desperate for a girl too and he has even said about high tech but I'm not prepared to even go there as things are pretty rubbish between us. I know he would definitely like a daughter but I get the feeling he thinks it will change me into a different more happier person. For the fact that he even said that he thought that having a daughter would make us, although another boy would put more strain on us and poss break us i thought are you for real!! No way on earth I'm going to consider bringing another baby into our relationship. To be totally honest I feel we are only together because of the boys although neither of us have said it. We struggle with the most basic of communication and I feel i get through my life on my own. Family is so important to both of us I think that is what is keeping us trudging on. I'd love for it to all work out and go back to how we were a few years ago but I'm slowly giving up hope every time another attempt at even a normal conversation ends with bad feeling. It feels more when, rather than if, we will give up altogether :( So sad but I'm at a loss what to do.
Charlie, you really sound like you have been to hell and back hunny xx Not sure if you were on other forums during your previous pregnancies but hope the fact that you can talk openly without any comebacks or judgements help you too.
Xxxxxx
2monkeys sorry to hear that. It's hard to be a partner when you have kids some times. Me and dh have very few deep conversations. Partly as too busy, tierd etc. Partly because we are on different planets. He lives for a laugh were I worry and plan. We have always been like that. But when I had dave he was great and spoke for me when I was vulnerable which shows he does listen some times! I hope you turn a corner soon.
Babymad I can't ask for help either. I see it as sign of failure. I hate to fail. Had a bad time at work when I went back after ds2 was born. Think I had a mini break down. Thing is no one was concerned for me even then, I hid it so well. Told dh when dave was born to take me to the docs if I showed signs of depression as I would never take myself. But I know I should! I think if people see you can function that's enough. I hope you do bounce back after baby is born. I need to post your clothes out after Easter too x
Hi ladies :) perhaps it's time to start an april thread? is anyone up for the job?
Inglewood ~ i'm thinking of you! i hope the girls arrived safely and that you're enjoying lots of baby cuddles and not feeling too sleep deprived ;)
2monkeys ~ i'm so sorry to hear your relationship is still on the rocks.. :( i dont really know what to say other than we might only live once so it's very important you think of your own happiness and well being.. you dont want to look back at your life now in the future and have regrets. have you been 110% honest with your dh about your feelings?
I havent finished mockingjay yet no. like you i flew through the first 2 but i had a bad headache last night and the night before that i was too tired to read so i think i'm probably gonna finish reading it tonight :) it's sounds silly but i think i put it off a bit because i'll be sad to see it end.. it's not often i come across books that i can hardly put down :p
charlieispy ~ glad to hear that you get the help you need! hopefully the anti d's will help you get back on track. please keep up posted!!
babymad ~ i'm like you, i don't ask for help as i would feel like a failure if i did.. ridiculous really as there is absolutely no shame in needing help.
maybebaby ~ how are you feeling today? hows the breastfeeding going? any improvement yet?
oh and i'm in the middle of potty training ds2. Only just started the other day and although i've done it once before with ds1 i feel completely clueless.. has anyone got any good potty training tips for me? it's different this time because with ds1 i simply locked us in the house for 4 days and let him run around naked until he learned to sit on the potty when he felt the need for a wee, but i cant do that with ds2 because ds1 and ds2 would get far too bored sitting in the house all day so we still need to get on with our normal routines and i find it very hard to fit in the potty training in a normal day... :S so any tips would be very appreciated!!
Yesterdays appointment was a total waste of time consultant not there and doctor RUBBISH so will have to call my doctor tomorrow x Depression is a hard one as it can go un-noticed for a long time and unless you have been there i dont think people understand or know what to look for. I suppose for me with my previous illnesses physically it was obvious and now people 'know' about that it is harder to hide - I mean from DH he is the only one who knows about how bad iam now and my doctor - because my illness basically broke us before and it was literally we try one last time or we walk away here and now I am aware that I dont think he would stay - i was very bad after ds1 and again our relationship almost broke down and they nearly took my baby - I am just so very thankful for my babies as they are my everything and I know without a doubt getting pregnant saved my life and my life with DH. So my DS1 will always be my saviour my miracle baby that a) should/could never have happened and b) made his mummy and daddy turn themselves around. It is hard to admit being depressed but if you ladies do ever struggle even sometimes going and venting to a doctor or even on a forum can help. My BF lives 2 hrs away and has suffered on and off too we often VENT to help us clear our heads - it doesnt mend it but it helps x I suppose as well recognising you are depressed is a major thing and coping mechanisms. For me art and crafts/ baking helps me I am currently making the baby a blanket it is a lot of hours of stitching and sewing but in my head it is my way of bonding with my baby and showing him how special he will be - i did the same with ds1 and ds3 alot of knitting happened! DS2 mentally i was very happy but he was a long time coming!! Anyway sorry for the ramble just please dont be alone if you are suffering
sunset - potty training its a toughy! DS1 potty trained at 2 but with a few accidents like you we stayed in. ds2 showed signs of being early wanting to use toilet etc but didnt seem to physically be able to go until a bit later and in the end was 2.5 but NO accidents ever! With him I left him naked at home with a potty out for a couple of weeks, progressing to pants....once he was dry at home - we then ventured out but i think leaving it till he was older and totally ready helped. Now saying that ds3 is now potty trained! No real doing of my own other than letting him use the toilet when he asked, havnt bothered with a potty as he never used one. He suddenly was asking to go so I did the same naked at home and he was dry straight away - pants took about a day to realise he still had to ask once he grasped that i bit the bullet and went out in pants! Believe me pooping myself the whole time but he has been amazing! Even at groups. He has had a few accidents at home in the evenings when tired but he is even dry most nights too. I would go with the naked no nappies at home first see how he does then progress to pants and going out x GOOD LUCK x
2monkeys - i just wanted to say huge huge hugs to you x i am so sorry your relationship is still no better, would you consider councilling?? Would DH. You sound so sad I just want to hug you x life is hard even when you are getting along most of the time and all relationships have ups and downs but it sounds like you have been trying to sort things and its still no better. I definitely agree with you on the baby making or breaking thing - i wouldnt have another unless your relationship is strong - geez this baby was planned at a time we were and still are relatively strong and it has pushed us to the limits at times. Can anyone have the boys whilst you guys talk things through??? Huge hugs x x
Inglewood - am gagging for pics ;) congrats on the safe arrival :D