So conflicted and sad.

Thanks for sharing Jany. I admire your perseverance and determination. Your girls are gorgeous!

Thanks for your honesty too Atomic and your story 1moregirl. I think I would do donor eggs but my husband is totally against it. I won't get into the irony as he had 3 kids before meeting me that I already care for and they aren't genetically mine either! However, he is totally just considering all of this for me and I am blown over that he would even contemplate a third child with me at our ages and in our circumstances so I have to respect his thoughts. Just because he is considering it doesn't make it the right thing to do. If it were legal here and I could fit it in around my life more perhaps I would try 1/2 times to know if tried but to head off to the US would be £40K to go twice and that's totally unfeasable.

This is so hard. I feel as if the only realistic thing to do is to try and find some peace and forget about having a daughter. But I just don't know how.

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Originally Posted by bigbump

Thanks for sharing Jany. I admire your perseverance and determination. Your girls are gorgeous!

Thanks for your honesty too Atomic and your story 1moregirl. I think I would do donor eggs but my husband is totally against it. I won't get into the irony as he had 3 kids before meeting me that I already care for and they aren't genetically mine either! However, he is totally just considering all of this for me and I am blown over that he would even contemplate a third child with me at our ages and in our circumstances so I have to respect his thoughts. Just because he is considering it doesn't make it the right thing to do. If it were legal here and I could fit it in around my life more perhaps I would try 1/2 times to know if tried but to head off to the US would be £40K to go twice and that's totally unfeasable.

This is so hard. I feel as if the only realistic thing to do is to try and find some peace and forget about having a daughter. But I just don't know how.

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Would you give swaying a good shot [emoji166] and hope you'll get your little girl[emoji176]

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I just don't know. I've seen so many failed sways. And much as a third son would of course be very much loved, the void I feel is for a daughter. I am still breastfeeding my baby anyway so I have some time to decide. But not much, being so flipping ancient ��

40 is the new 20 ;-) you still have time I've read some pretty good sways for girls it can still happen ♡♡ I hope it'll be you next :-)

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Thank you. That means a lot. I feel pretty lonely in this. X

We're here to support you I really pray you find peace and happiness in whatever decision you make :-)

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Originally Posted by 1moregirl

Well I got pregnant easily when I was 40 naturally and gave birth 2 months prior to turning 41. I've read of it happening quite a lot now - women having babies naturally in their 40s. I've also joined a Facebook page of women in their 40s having babies. Some are conceiving naturally and others are using donor eggs. And even if you do have a low ovarian reserve that doesn't mean that you can't conceive naturally.

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But we're not talking about conceiving naturally, we are talking about doing IVF/PGD and that is just not good results at 40. Not only are way, way less eggs retrieved, they're more likely to be abnormals, end in miscarriage, and with PGD for gender you lose half of them because they're the wrong gender right from the get go. And that first cycle can be almost a practice cycle anyway because often even young women don't conceive from the first one, the doctor many times needs time to tweak the medication to see what you respond best to.

I got my daughter at 42 and I am not trying to deter anyone from TTC naturally over 40. But unless a person has unlimited financial resources, ya may as well light a pile of money on fire and dance around it naked while praying for a baby girl to descend from the heavens on a cloud of pink glitter as expect to get pregnant from one cycle over 40 using your own eggs. It can happen but I would certainly not bank on it!

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Originally Posted by more pink

We're here to support you I really pray you find peace and happiness in whatever decision you make :-)

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:agree: THIS!! :)

Ok, I hear ya Atomic! I only asked if anyone had ever heard of a 40 year old OHW, I don't think I'm under any illusions! And if I was in certainly not now!!! I might try the dance thing tho ;)

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

:agree: THIS!! :)

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You're the greatest support here for sure[emoji12]

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