Originally Posted by
LMSM
Max, vent away. We all have felt it at some point when we haven’t been lucky enough to get our desired genders. If there is place where you won’t be judged, it’s here!
I know it is so hard to see the family you had pictured in my mind not come to life – and there is nothing wrong with feeling that way.
I truly think it will only be once our babes are in our arms that we will be able to cast GD aside and bond fully with them – doesn’t mean we will love them any less.
It is unfair – it is – but we have so little control over conception and what ensues – it is such a miracle in its own right ..
You would think with my previous infertility journey (albeit not anywhere near as long as so many others) I would have come to terms with being truly, deeply content with just being blessed with healthy babies – not pink, not blue – healthy, the end.
But that is not the case – I do feel blessed, but I feel like a piece of the puzzle is missing somehow, too..
If before we had kids someone had asked me to choose gender – as in “you can only have one gender for all your kids, pick now” – I would have said boy, no hesitation at all, no regrets. And here I am, mother of two soon three girls – never what I “wanted” or would have chosen for myself - and never did I think I would be so in love with them. Because really, beyond the rest, it’s their souls, personalities that make them who they are – they are MY kids, fiercely so, and I could not love them any more than I do.
It may seem hypocritical to say this whilst I am myself going through bouts of GD – but even if I never will get to experience “the other gender”, I do think that children know, innately how to make you fall head over heels for them. I am sure you little man will, too. It may not be until he is born and you lock eyes for the first time, but I promise you it will happen.
I have the strongest bond with my DD2, whom I so much wanted to be a boy but wasn’t – to this day, she is as much of a mumma’s girl as can be and I love it – I am convinced she just knew what to do to make her mama melt and forget she ever wished she has been anything but what she is ;)
Shann- like I was saying to Max, I am sure you will bond with your little man once he is here…how many people, regardless of wanting a certain gender, can’t really bond with their unborn child because it all feels too unreal, intangible etc??
Are you feeling better after your episode at the hospital? Back to normal?
TTCblue – again congrats to you – so terribly envious! Haha you are more than welcome to join hon ;)
Ash, the weight thing is not easy – is it really that much out of control?? I struggle with exercise too because of all the contractions it triggers plus SPD has started early this pregnancy so my crotch feels like it’s been kicked repeatedly :P and it shows on the scale – I was only this big well into my 2nd trimester last time..sigh
Bluebooties – at the end of the day, no one can tell you what is the best for you – if you feel like not knowing is what gets you through, then so be it!
I think finding out at birth is a wonderful surprise and the baby being there, it is “easier” to deal with because you fall in love with them then and there.
Mommax3 – people clearly don’t realise the hurt they cause with their comments – it’s sad but true – though I think most don’t mean to offend or upset (some are just plain stupid and don’t see it even when explained to them).
You are right, nothing wrong for hubby to be the center of the universe of his harem of girls, that look at him with eyes full of love like he is the world’s greatest hero…I think the men actually have the easiest part in being the only men in a girl tribe! shame people can’t see that, my husband is definitely not traumatised ;) having said that, as much as I wanted to be a boy mum, I try to project myself with my girls – even far in the future and hope to share lots with them, even as young adults etc and reckon if the affinities and bond are there,it must be awesome!
:hugs: to all!
Ok I better run, have loads to do :P
