Due March/April/May 2017 (3)

i am 20 weeks tomorrow and have known since i was 11 weeks...only in the last 2 weeks or so have i really accepted it. So if you are feeling any shade of better there is still hope it will get easier for you and interjecting my opinion for a moment would say that you should get the 'official' answer...you never know if you will be surprised. I agree yours looked very boyish, but i have seen ultrasounds that shock with last minute results...I am one that gets over things fast normally too JDD, not easily bothered either because i know when i stress i stress BIG so i try and limit what stresses me out...and this is still taking a while for me. But i also know this is my last baby, i refuse to do this again. I hate pregnancy. and so maybe what you are struggling with is more of the fact you feel this is probably your last baby too...its harder to accept and takes longer when its so final, vs your last pregnancy where you say you accepted it pretty fast...but you also knew you had at least one more try for your girl.

When does this get easier? This so painful, I am bearly functioning I get very little sleep and am so full of anxiety I wake frequently during the night thinking I have slept in. I just feel so sad. I so wish I had never tried for another baby, I have stopped telling people am pregnant, I have friends that don't know. I don't want to talk about the baby or think about it! I feel sorry for it, imagine causing this much upset just for something you did not choose, I am such a wretched person!

I think I am glad I found out with DS2 as I tend to get hit pretty hard with baby blues and if I had GD on top of that then I may have got PND after him. Instead I was prepared for my baby boy and tried to soak up every last bit of my 'last' baby.

I'm sorry you are struggling at the moment Girlie :( I'm sure the others will have some wise words to share as unfortunately lots in this group have been through what you are feeling. It does sound like it will get easier but it will be really hard for a little while.

Girlieplease, I went through the same emotions/thoughts after finding out about DS3. I felt awful for wishing I would have skipped TTC that cycle and feeling resentful he wasn't a girl. I had a hard time connecting with the baby and what made it worse was not having anyone IRL to talk to about it other than DH. I felt angry, bitter, and sad. PLEASE don't feel bad. We're only human and we can't help what we feel. What's important is you recognize your true feelings and deal with them now rather than after baby is born. It's important that you talk about your feelings with someone because keeping it all bottled up only makes it worse. I'm almost 35 weeks now so I've had time to adjust to the idea (never thought I would!!) and now I'm OK with another boy. I'm finally at a point where I'm excited to meet him. I've actually run into quite a few moms in the past month or so that have 3-4 boys and they all say they really hoped for a girl so it's nice to know we're not alone in the universe! If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me. :)

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Originally Posted by Girlieplease

When does this get easier? This so painful, I am bearly functioning I get very little sleep and am so full of anxiety I wake frequently during the night thinking I have slept in. I just feel so sad. I so wish I had never tried for another baby, I have stopped telling people am pregnant, I have friends that don't know. I don't want to talk about the baby or think about it! I feel sorry for it, imagine causing this much upset just for something you did not choose, I am such a wretched person!

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You are allowed to feel all your feelings, but you are NOT a wretched person. At all. You are sad and everyone here understands and empathizes with you.

I think you have to accept that you will feel awful before you feel good. Work through what you are feeling. Let yourself be. But, you are not a bad person to have these feelings!

*big hugs*

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I finally had my appointment with my midwife today as it got delayed twice because of her attending births. She seems really nice so that is good. She came to my house which makes everything so much easier. The boys got to listen to bubs heartbeat and DS1 even used the doppler, she was very good at involving the kids.

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Originally Posted by purple

I finally had my appointment with my midwife today as it got delayed twice because of her attending births. She seems really nice so that is good. She came to my house which makes everything so much easier. The boys got to listen to bubs heartbeat and DS1 even used the doppler, she was very good at involving the kids.

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That is great!!! I wish mine came to my house so i didn't have to drag the boys everywhere

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Originally Posted by jenren

That is great!!! I wish mine came to my house so i didn't have to drag the boys everywhere

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It is great.. and weekend appointments are awesome too as I'm working in the week. The midwife I had with DS1 through the same hospital midwife group made me go in to the hospital for appointments so I thought I would have to do that again. If all goes well I shouldn't have to go anywhere near a hospital :)

http://i.imgur.com/BmsyzWC.jpg

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Had my scan today my sister in law had hers y2day and we have the exact same due date! What do u think gender is??

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Looks girly to me, congratulations on your baby, what did you think yourself? X

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Originally Posted by Girlieplease

Looks girly to me, congratulations on your baby, what did you think yourself? X

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I had no clue lol! Although it looks like it has a big forehead so maybe boy lol

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Originally Posted by All*blue*everything

Had my scan today my sister in law had hers y2day and we have the exact same due date! What do u think gender is??

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What does your SIL already have?


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all*blue- i am thinking boy..but i may be seeing chord...with the back arched its hard to tell

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Originally Posted by Magical22

What does your SIL already have?


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1 boy, I just don't want her to have a girl and me a boy I know that's awful! I don't mind us both having boys I just can't be the only one of my hubbys family of 6siblings with no girl

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Originally Posted by All*blue*everything

1 boy, I just don't want her to have a girl and me a boy I know that's awful! I don't mind us both having boys I just can't be the only one of my hubbys family of 6siblings with no girl

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Yes I've been there, I'm still there, only one on DHs side without a daughter, and constantly reminded of it like a failure. 3 boys I feel like a freak! It's bad I know but I've really pulled myself away from that side of the family the pressure to have a girl is to much.


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Did you get any other photos All Blue? It's hard to tell with the arching. Did you see your SIL's scan?

http://i.imgur.com/k5NuWPh.jpg

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That's my sister in laws x I only got the one photo of mine x

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Originally Posted by All*blue*everything

1 boy, I just don't want her to have a girl and me a boy I know that's awful! I don't mind us both having boys I just can't be the only one of my hubbys family of 6siblings with no girl

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I have this situation, my sister in law is due in February with a girl and it has added significantly to my gender disappointment. I have also had this twice before, my other sister law has two girls. With ds1 I was told at 20 weeks scan he was a girl, when I was 36 weeks I had a scan and I saw he was a boy, I was so upset and the very next day my sister in law gave birth to a girl, she did not know what she was having and always thought it was a boy. When I got pregnant with ds2, the day before my induction with him, same sister in law announced they were expecting second girl! I hope you get your girl, it makes it so much worse when other family members are having your desired gender x

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Originally Posted by All*blue*everything

1 boy, I just don't want her to have a girl and me a boy I know that's awful! I don't mind us both having boys I just can't be the only one of my hubbys family of 6siblings with no girl

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I'm in this situation too. My husband is the youngest of 6, so they're all done having kids now. All have at least one of each. It makes my gd so much worse thinking I might be the only family with all boys. At least in some families they have the excuse of boys run in our families, even if it's just some kind of coincidence. For me it sucks to see that my husband's brothers had no problems having girls because it makes me feel like it's somehow my fault. My in laws had a perfect 3 boys 3 girls family and got a pigeon pair right in the beginning, so they're convinced I'll get my girl next. I wish it was that easy..


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Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!! [emoji260][emoji884][emoji262]I am so thankful to have a group of people who can relate to gender desire and disappointment! I hope you all have a wonderful day spent with your family and friends!![emoji4]


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No holidays here but happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate. We have to wait for Christmas day to stuff ourselves silly (no thinking about LE diet this year!).

I might have to start thinking about what I can wear Christmas day... although I don't know if it will be really hot this year or a bit on the cooler side (which is probably still warmer than those in the northern hemisphere).

Today (25th) is actually my 10th wedding anniversary :)

My husband is considering letting me have an elective ultrasound!! This weekend!!

I don't know if I should. I'm nervous. I'll be 16 weeks on Monday.

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Oh yay! Go do it as you have to find out sooner or later. I was so nervous the week before mine so this way you only have to be nervous a few days :)

Lissa that is so sweet and awesome of him given his feelings about elective ultrasounds...do it!!! I have had many elective ultrasounds all 4 times and all my babies are just fine.. I doubt one extra ultrasound will hurt your LO... I hope he decides to let you and you get to see baby and know gender early!!

We are going today at 4pm!!! Yikes! I'm so nervous!!

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Enjoy Lissa 😀

Good luck!!!

I accidentally googled time in Southern Carolina and thought you had already had the scan but then realised you are in Southern California so still 30 mins to go. I bet you are so nervous!!

eagerly waiting to hear back from you lissa :) i hope you are surprised and it is your girl!

i am having some really intense low looowwww back pain and pelvic pressure..not sure if i just have a low pain tolerance and im a pansy or if i should actually be concnerned...when i was walking earlier with family i genuinely felt i was going to pass out from the pain...and i had to squat and look stupid in public to try and get some relief from the pressure...got home and took a hot bath and a nap..ive been chugging water...i just dont know when i should call the OB or if i even should :(

If you are worried then call so it puts your mind at ease.

Eagerly awaiting your news lissa!

He's definitely a boy. We saw his penis and saw him touching his penis. Haha. Just like his big brother did and always does.

I'm doing alright because I knew it was a boy all along. I started grieving for the daughter I will never have long ago.

I'm convinced the Universe doesn't trust me with a girl. I have to respect that.

I'm totally sad. Not gonna lie. But, I love him. And I can't wait to meet him.

I totally didn't cry at the u/s! I'm starting to now, but I held it together. I'm proud of myself!

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Congratulations Lissa... I am sure your boys will be the best of friends and I am proud of you for what it's worth for holding it together so well. How does your husband feel? Did he enjoy seeing his newest son? So funny that he was playing with his junk as if to say "lookie here" LOL

Your ds1 is about the age my oldest was when my middle daughter was born and she was so in love with her as a newborn she wanted to hold her and feed her and help with diapers.. maybe DS1 will be your little helper :)

My husband has always maintained that he didn't have a real preference and if he did, he preferred another boy. He was not as excited to find out the sex as he was with my first son. We were both so excited and happy that we were having a boy last time. This time he didn't say anything.

I'm glad I know now and there's nothing holding me back from bonding with him. I'm totally not worried about him anymore. It was hard for me to connect with him before, even when I had a glimmer of hope that he might be a she...
Now that I know more, I'm connecting with him a lot now.

My pregnancy is so different already. I feel more relaxed.

I prepared myself for this before I got pregnant, so I think that's helped me not take this too hard.

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Sorry you didn't hear girl today Lissa.

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Originally Posted by Cinss

Sorry you didn't hear girl today Lissa.

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That's ok. I really wasn't expecting to hear girl.

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Congrats in your little boy x hearing what you've said about being happy u found out and now bonding more i really can't decide if I should find out my baby's gender. I was going to have a surprise mainly because I cant face telling everyone who asks that im having a 5th boy and getting stupid comments..my boys are all desperate for a sister and I thought if we wait til its born they will love him regardless but now im wondering if they should have time to deal with it being a boy rather then having hope for months...

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Congrats on your boy Lissa!! Having two boys is really special and they have lots of fun together. I'm glad you are feeling more relaxed already, it sounds like the early ultrasound was the right thing to do as now you have more time to enjoy being pregnant and not worrying about gender. I don't think the universe wouldn't trust you with a girl though, it may have just decided that you would make an awesome two boy mom :)

Congratulations Lissastick, I love having two boys,atomic always says boys are like shoes they should come in pairs. I think your attitude is amazing, you have two lucky boys! I feel worse everyday and just cannot seem to get out of this! X