Due Dec 2016 Jan/Feb 2017

Hi everyone been a while since I was on here. Thought I would give everyone an update and looking for advice! So am now 13 weeks and four days pregnant baby three is due 16th December. Started bleeding today was quite heavy I thought so ended up at hospital . They aid baby is fine but I have a small tear at the end of my placenta. From I have read this can go away by itself or lead to full blown miscarriage if it gets worse. Spent all day in bed and so far so good! Other news ... Had a blood test which gave a girl result was over the moon as I have two boys already I was so happy because this is what I had prayed for. Had another test a bit later and that said boy I haven't stopped crying since. Like all the joy has been sucked out of this pregnancy , I was devastated. All my friends have been having little girls and it's all I ever dreamed of. Obviously with this all happening today I feel so guilty for feeling like it's not what I wanted. This is our last baby I had to work on hubby to persuade him to have this one. I had two failed Ivf attempts to get girl and a low ovarian reserve which made me paranoid about not being able to get pregnant at all. I just feel like someone is playing a cruel trick on me dangling girl in my face and then snatching it away. I don't know what to think now. I thought about having a gender scan at 16 weeks so see who was right but in my heart I think it's a boy and now I have such mixed feeling about it. I can see my little girl in my head and knowing that I may never meet her is crushing me. At the same time I'm scared about this bleed what it means and I think have I caused it by being so anti boy

Pinklady I'm so sorry. You did NOT cause the bleeding by wanting a girl so much. What happened is beyond your control. There are women out there that have way worse thoughts about their unborn babies and go on to have healthy pregnancies/babies. What blood tests did you have done? If it was one of the NIPT tests then those are very accurate. I hope the first test was right for you and this is your little girl and I hope the tear resolves itself. Take care and get all the rest you can!

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Originally Posted by ksmom

Pinklady I'm so sorry. You did NOT cause the bleeding by wanting a girl so much. What happened is beyond your control. There are women out there that have way worse thoughts about their unborn babies and go on to have healthy pregnancies/babies. What blood tests did you have done? If it was one of the NIPT tests then those are very accurate. I hope the first test was right for you and this is your little girl and I hope the tear resolves itself. Take care and get all the rest you can!

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Thanks for the reply :) I want the first test to be right so much but i really think it was wrong. I had a miscarriage twelve 18 months ago and that was a boy, I got a blood test for that as well which was confirmed by another test because I convinced myself it was wrong. The weird thing is that was a nimble diagnostics test which said boy and then got confirmed by a nifty test and then I miscarried. This time again took nimble test which said girl and then a harmony test and it's boy. I know harmony isn't really for gender though and I'm hoping it's wrong . I have read about them being wrong although I appreciate it doesn't happen often. Something about male Dna still being in maternal blood. I pray this is the case for me. I contacted nimble and they said both tests should show same result ... The only thing I worry about is I probably took the nimble test at just over 8 weeks as there was some confusion with the dates of the baby... It's gone from the 8th Dec to 21st to 18th and now 16th of Dec !!!!! It's like having all your dreams come true and then having them ripped away. I'm honestly having a really hard time accepting it. I did think I don't want this baby if it's a boy.. But it's not like I can him away and I'm sure when he arrives I will love him anyway but it's so hard getting used to the idea. I want it to be wrong so much. Was thinking of having an ultrasound to confirm my worst suspicions and then I will have time to get over it. My last baby though... Never to have a mother daughter bond that's a hard thing to deal with. I'm in bed at the moment as well so all I can do is think. I felt so different with this pregnancy I was convinced it was a different sex ... Just goes to show eh .
P

I hate to say it but I would think harmony is pretty accurate for gender, I'm not sure what a nimble test is. I've never heard of that. You will maybe just need to get a gender scan to confirm completely, so sorry you are being put through the wringer and it's entirely possible the first test is right after all.

Please don't feel like you caused the bleeding. I bled in all four of my previous pregnancies and they were very much wanted and not really GD until later. It doesn't make any difference to the outcome who we feel, please don't put that onto yourself. Take it easy and I'm sure the bleeding will resolve.

I'd never heard of the nimble test either but it looks like an at home test. Is that correct? Unfortunately those tests have greater odds of being wrong especially taken so early and there's room for error not being done in a lab setting. I think blood tests for gender are typically done at 9-10 weeks or later. Harmony is one of the NIPT tests and those are extremely accurate. If you're having a boy (hopefully baby is actually a girl!) then I'm sure in time you will come to terms with it. I think you should have the ultrasound to confirm gender so that way you can go ahead and let the GD healing begin or celebrate having a girl. With DS2, I badly wanted a girl and I was so convinced he was a girl that I'm glad I had an elective scan at 16w to find out the gender. It really, really helped me to get used to the idea that we were having another boy so I had plenty of time to get excited. I've already been trying to mentally prepare myself this time around for another boy.

I'm so sorry DRV.




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I had a weird dream. I dreamt that I was calling the baby in my stomach girl girl girl. Then the feet ripped through my side and I had to deliver the baby myself and it was a boy. And I was upset but just worried about the baby. All the while, my sides ripped open.... And then zombies somewhere in the mix later in that dream. Not sure if I ever got the medical attention I needed. Lol.

Why do I always dream about the baby ripping through my stomach. Last pregnancy it was twin girl rats. They ripped through my stomach and I gave birth to them. Again, medical treatment for myself wasn't a priority.

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DRV, so sorry for your loss. You did not cause it in any way honey xx

Drv
My heart goes to you [emoji22]


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DRV I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself this is not your fault.

Pinklady I'm sorry you've had such a rough time. I would be inclined to get the gender scan so you can lay the gender matter to rest. I hope this is your girl but if it is a boy you will love him no matter what once he is in your arms and finding out sooner than later sounds like the best course of action for you.

Omg K what awful dreams!!! Sorry but all I could think about was 'the walking dead' (💓 that show!) and 'Alien' lol. Hope your dreams become a bit nicer!

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