Anyone have no symptoms and things still be ok?

i honestly think if they cant find an answer from mums blood tests, swabs, urine samples etc and baby's post mortem/placenta and cord tests then they just blame mum because its easy and it gives a "reason."
sadly its shocking how many Drs/midwives do this, it makes me so angry.
I believed his "reason" for 4 years and felt like a complete failure for apparently killing my perfect healthy baby girl who would of gone full term and lived if she had just been inside a different "girl friendly" woman, it took having my 2 living girls to fully move past that insane way of thinking and stop blaming myself, if only they realised the damage these type of comments can do.

i would still give anything to know why she died but i guess it will always be a mystery..

Braverman actually said the same thing to me, but for boys :/ He's got his tentative "autoimmune issues towards boys" theory, but now we know that my losses were likely chromosomes -- and now comes the stress that we have really bad luck conceiving boys since they've all been abnormal thus far even though DH's Y chromosone is supposedly fine. But it's extra worse when someone says it to someone about girls, since I have yet to encounter any scientific hypothesis on "not being able to carry girls." I'm sorry you were told such a cruel thing 4blue :(

I also pointed out to this midwife that I still had early symptoms (waves of nausea, food aversions) with our FET of confirmed XYs, and she said maybe it was because it was two and "so much hormones." I was on prednisone AND my HCG never got higher than probably 25. I think none of these people know what they're talking about with symptoms or gender based things lol... she seemed to really want to push a narrative.

And I'm due right at the New Year!!! Every day feel more inclined to go Team Green for my sanity lol

There is something in humans that makes us want to be able to fit everything into a narrative or an overarching system (and we are all susceptible to it, me too!!) and it makes it really hard for people to snap out of it and say "I don't know" because they just want that narrative that ties everything all together so neatly in a paradigm that appeals to them. So Dr. B (even tho I like Dr. B) wants to fit everything into the "autoimmune" paradigm, the midwife wants to fit everything into her paradigm, the docs want to explain losses using that paradigm in which they still know everything and anything they don't have an explanation for, must be somehow the woman's fault, etc.

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Originally Posted by Throwaway_panther

Braverman actually said the same thing to me, but for boys :/ He's got his tentative "autoimmune issues towards boys" theory, but now we know that my losses were likely chromosomes -- and now comes the stress that we have really bad luck conceiving boys since they've all been abnormal thus far even though DH's Y chromosone is supposedly fine. But it's extra worse when someone says it to someone about girls, since I have yet to encounter any scientific hypothesis on "not being able to carry girls." I'm sorry you were told such a cruel thing 4blue :(

I also pointed out to this midwife that I still had early symptoms (waves of nausea, food aversions) with our FET of confirmed XYs, and she said maybe it was because it was two and "so much hormones." I was on prednisone AND my HCG never got higher than probably 25. I think none of these people know what they're talking about with symptoms or gender based things lol... she seemed to really want to push a narrative.

And I'm due right at the New Year!!! Every day feel more inclined to go Team Green for my sanity lol

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i do remember thinking at the time why would my body which is female reject a healthy female baby just for being female.. but because it was the consultant who said it i felt like, well he's the expert here so he must know and be right.. yeah..more fool me!! i think they just want to seem like they have an answer when actually them saying they dont know in this case would be better.

i dont believe that you cant carry boys either and im sorry that you too have had this said to you, your abnormal XY's while understandably devastating for you :( dont say anything about your ability to carry a son, so far it seems you have had terribly bad luck with your XY's but that doesnt mean that they will all be abnormal, and so far this baby seems to be healthy and developing well :heart: it could very well be your boy!! dont ever doubt your ability to conceive a healthy XY and carry a son.

LOVE New Year babies!! my youngest was born on Jan 2nd :) having my team green baby and starting the year with such a massive (and very cute) surprise was just amazing :D i wont lie i did have some days during the pregnancy of "am i making a huge mistake going team green, will this bite me in the ass big time if baby comes out a boy?" but honestly for me it was the best thing ive ever done!! and baby was a boy!! post-birth ive bonded much better and easier with him than any of my other boys, maybe it was team green or maybe its because he's come after 2 girls or maybe its a mix of both but this time was significantly better (thank god)

so come on little ThrowawayPantherCub bean stick in there, keep growing and give your mama, dad and big sister the most amazing start to 2019!! :heart:

Congrats! I’ve experienced no symptoms till 6 weeks with my sons.

This just came out! https://pregnantchicken.com/what-cau...ning-sickness/

So looks like it's a specific protein as observed in a recent study! So not the HCG or progesterone as once suspected. There still seems to be an association between this protein and loss or not, so still confused on the nausea I did have with my losses -- but thought I'd share!

I see tons of people with quite severe sickness and losses so I wouldn't hang my hat on that one just yet. The study was referring to nausea in the SECOND tri and not early pregnancy, also. https://www.biorxiv.org/content/early/2017/11/17/221267

I do think they'll get it figured out within the next few years, though.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I see tons of people with quite severe sickness and losses so I wouldn't hang my hat on that one just yet. The study was referring to nausea in the SECOND tri and not early pregnancy, also. https://www.biorxiv.org/content/early/2017/11/17/221267

I do think they'll get it figured out within the next few years, though.

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Wow, that's even more interesting since nausea in the second trimester isn't considered super typical, I thought (and I think we all know some moms with hyperemesis who still had losses :( ). I did have nausea until about 16 weeks with DD, though never vomiting. Hmmm.

There was an article I was looking at a few months back that talked about different maternal factors that were associated with MS and things that were "protective" against having MS in pregnancy, things like alcohol use before conception, lower saturated fat diet before conception, etc. Atomic have you seen that one? I found it when I was pregnant last time when I was so worried about why I wasn't having ANY nausea or morning sickness, despite having much with my boys. I thought maybe that study had something to do with my lack of MS. Ultimately in my case I don't really think it was any of those factors - it was just that that pregnancy wasn't going well. It was interesting though.

This is it: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3676933/

But yea it doesn't really seem like they have it figured out yet...