Originally Posted by
prayforprincess
Thanks for the warm welcome!
from2to3- I am scared too. This is most likely our last baby because I have had a pretty rough road with surgeries and my c-sections that my ob is not psyched about me having #4 but is ok with it. Chances are she'll cut me off after this one though. My head keeps telling me not to kid myself and without swaying, what are the chances of a girl after 3 boys! Of course its a boy. But my heart keep telling me that if there is any higher power out there that life wouldn't be so cruel not to give me a girl after all I've been through to have this baby. Its not like I don't want to have a boy, its the thought of my dream for a daughter never coming true that tortures me. I just don't want to live always desperately wanting something I'll never have, and always wondering what she would have looked like and what kind of relationship we could have had etc. I just can't even think about it cause it only upsets me.
I almost just don't want to know, I'm too scared that hearing "boy" will throw me off into having to face my fear of never having a dd. In the past with my boys, of course I was upset, but I always knew that there would be one more, I would have another chance. But this time is so final - I don't have another chance after this one and I'd finally have to accept never having a dd and I'm not sure how to do that yet. I think its something I would struggle with for a very long time.
I too had a dream the other night. A fortune teller told me I was having a boy and that I would have another baby and that would be a boy too. All boys she said. I was like "Nooooo!" I hope its not a sign.
Not sure I believe in chinese calendar, lets face it -- its 50/50. Wish I could think it was true cause it says girl for me, but I'm not buying stock in it.