Another two boy Mom gets a girl

When I was pg with DS 4, I cried myself to sleep every night for weeks before the private gender scan. I felt ok once the news was delivered but I knew that if I could bring myself to have any more babies it would be HT. Thankfully, I have the space, support and finances for the HT journey and another child(or 2!), if not I think my life would have a hole in always. If HT doesn't work, we will try a sway and accept another boy then adopt. By then my broodiness at least will have been satisfied and I won't feel the need for an actual BABY girl, a toddler will do just fine :-)

re adoption - depending on where you live and the $$ resources you have, it may behoove you to look into adoption SOONER rather than later. We talked about adoption very seriously and then when we began to look into it, it turned out that the odds that we would be selected by a potential birth mother to be very slim. We didn't have enough money, we were too old, and there is a strong preference for couples that do not have children already. :/

Wow, so many people say "Why don't you just adopt a ____?" they have no idea

Exactly right 1+2+3...adoption has gotten almost impossible in the USA and it is getting more and more difficult abroad. It is so common for teenage mothers to keep their babies and like Atomic said, birth mothers can be very, very picky.

Cost comes into it too. That is why HT and surrogacy have gotten so popular. I think in some ways, the cost is close to equal.

One thing that boggles me is a lot of people adopt kids with special needs or who come from drug mothers, etc. than they get miffed when this child takes up a lot of time and resources. As a mother of 2 kids with special needs, I can promise that they take up A LOT of time and resources and require non-stop sacrifice on my part. I have seen parents resent their adopted child because they didn't just fit right in and behave like the easy child the parent gave birth to first. It makes me very sad and almost an advocate of people NOT adopting unless the stars are lined up perfectly OR you have the training and resources to deal with a special needs child for MANY years to come. Hope that makes sense....just like HT, adoption sounds like a quick fix, but I have learned from this website that it is not what it seems for everyone.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 1+2+3boys

Wow, so many people say "Why don't you just adopt a ____?" they have no idea

---

It is next to impossible for a HUGE percentage of people, at least in the US!!

LOL adia I should have read your reply first!!

Adoption overseas is really really $$$$$ and very difficult as well. You literally have to be able to go over to the country and pretty much live there for weeks at a time, plus in addition to all that there is still the expense and so on. I have a friend who did adopt two girls from Ukraine and she had to leave her bio kids at home for months so she could live over there. And I think it's totally amazing that she did all that, but it's not something that ~I personally~ would want to do. Plus a lot of the countries are really closing the loopholes and nolonger allowing Americans to adopt anyway, which is too bad.

Wow, I can't imagine how hard international adoption must be. I was adopted because my Mum had me at 19 and it was open and I always knew and things have been great for me but having seen it from one point of view, you sure would have to be strong to be able to do it. There are very strong emotions involved no matter what side you are on in the adoption (adopting or adopting out) As for me, I feel like I get the best of both worlds. I love being adopted

I don't want to start a new thread to have a rant so I will just hijack this one lol. So there is this lovely little shop down the road from us where they sell little handmade Xmas decorations and I took the boys for a walk down there today to choose a new decoration for the tree each. Well when we went to pay I recognised the lady behind the counter. She's the mother of a couple of kids I went to school with.
So she say "wow your family is .............. (long pause) grown".
I said "haha yeah we have 3 now"
Her "all boys?"
Me "yeah all boys"
Her "well I don't know if you read the paper but Ryan (her son) had a baby girl a few weeks ago"
Me "oh that's lovely"
Her "yeah, and Kate (her daughter) has a little boy. He's really full on. He was nearly given a label but she's pregnant again. She rung me up the other day and was so excited. She said we don't have to get that people mover now Mum as it's a girl". We are all so excited and glad that she doesn't have to have anymore because she was just going to keep going until she got her girl."

All in front of my boys! I was so mad I just about left without saying thank you :(. Darn it why do people have to say things like that to a Mum of 3 boys with them all right there!

OMG! Sorry you had to go through that. How rude! She may have gotten her girl but her boy will never know the magic of a Brother or two. It is hard to know what to say in such situations though aye cos it just shocks you. Like OMG, did she really just say that

Haha yeah that's true. I never say anything at the time. But it makes you wonder what people think when they see a family of 3 boys doesn't it. I wonder how many people think that we just went back for the girl and failed. I can only imagine how it would be if we kept going :(. And I do worry about what the kids think because I never say anything about wanting a girl to them or in front of them yet DS1 still asks me when I'm going to have a girl!