TTC Girl - March 2012

Well I can't believe I'm having to write this but I'm out. :tissue:
I have been convinced I was pg since ovulation. I have had symptoms that were not just little twinges, or niggles or conjured up in my head but full-on, can't deny symptoms. Constant af like cramps all day n would keep me up at night, a full feeling in low abdomen and constantly look and feel bloated, extreme back ache, base of neck ache, headaches, more cm than usual, tender breasts, vag turning purply (sorry tmi), amazing orgasms (sorry tmi) that always happen when pg, quite gassy, constipated. In the last coupe of days i even had waves of nausea! I never get any of these symptoms before af, so you can imagine I was utterly convinced this was pg for me. What explanation could there be for all of this if not pg? I did 3 hpts, 1 at 9dpo, 11dpo, 12dpo, all neg, which surprised me but I've done a lot of reading up on this n it does appear that many women take a long time to get pos hpt, weeks and months into pg even, so I thought maybe it would show up late. With my last ds I got neg at 11/12dpo n tested week later n was pos.
i can't understand these pg symptoms though. When I got up this morning n went to toilet n wiped, I was all clear. And then about an hour later I had this excruciating pain on my right side which literally made me double over and hold by breath, then 20mins later when went to toilet there was blood. Is it crazy to think it was like an early miscarriage? It would explain having all those pg symptoms and the extreme pain. If not then wtf is going on with my body? Who knows.:confused:

So as you can imagine I'm now utterly devastated. Especially since I was positive I was pg. the worst thing is that cos I thought I was pg I have been off the diet, and I mean really off the diet. Takeaways, eating breakfast, lasagne with mince meat, hot chips, chocolate, arghhh!!!! I'm completely mortified! I have prob gained a kg in this past 2 weeks. Will going hardcore on the diet for 2 weeks for this next cycle be enough to salvage my sway or has it all been ruined? I know I have the willpower to go super low calories but I'm worried my body won't react in time. I don't want to have spent 3 months on le diet, then f%*k up a couple of weeks n get a boy. I feel completely overwhelmed, lost, angry, cheated,devastated. I hate this!:hair:
Please, I need your help girls...:sad:

Lala, so sorry to hear you are going through this. I am not surprised you thought you were definitely pg, you had so many symptoms. It is possible that for some reason it was a chemical and it was not able to implant or something. Apparently it is very common, but most people don't notice because AF arrives and they haven't been analysing everything or testing.
Because we are so focused on getting pg, we are more in tune with what is going on with our bodies (at least most are, my body kept confusing me!)
Personally I don't think you have to stress about having been off the diet in the 2WW as I know you are very strict when you put your mind to it. However, you have to always do what you will be ok with and not look back at with regret.
I am sure it will end up happening on a month when you get no symptoms and think you must be out. I think our bodies like to mess with our heads! Hang in there. It sucks that you have to go back on the diet, but it will be worth it in then long term. Hugs.

Ya, this is #4 for me and with c-sections my doctor says that 4 is all i can have -- given the scar tissue and adhesions etc. So, there is no "next time" for me. This is it.
I went to my mother's house for dinner tonight. Had a martini and talked it over with her and my father.
I am doing HT again. Starting on birth control tomorrow morning (as I got my af this afternoon). BC for 2 weeks then am starting my stims again.
I will be here with all of you -- for you are my support. I pray to God this work for me this time. More than anything I pray. This is my last time. And if it does not, then I just don't know. For some unknown reason my lp is short now -- 10-11 days. That is not normal nor has it ever been an issue with me in the past. Up to 2 months ago, my LP was always 14-15 days. Fro the past 2 months it has been 10-11. Not ok when ttc. If I do not do ht then I will have to go on progesterone supplements and do testing, wasting a few months. But if I start ht now, then my lp does not matter because all the drugs I will be taking over-ride everything and control it all. Like my doctors nurse said, doing ivf makes having a short LP null and void.
I feel like it is a sure direction I need to go right now.

P4P, wowsers! Good on you for giving it one more shot. At least you know what you are in for, and have weighed up all the pros and cons. All the very best...I will be cheering you on from afar.

so sorry lala :( I understand your pain.
Maybe it was an early miscarriage like you said - hence all your symptoms? I dont know, i dont know if there is anyway to know for sure. BUt try not to drive yourself insane over it. Sadly there is nothing that can be done but to move on.

I'm no expert but i don't think that 2weeks off the diet will have killed your sway overall - but Atomic would probably be the expert on this. Its about overall diet, and 2 weeks out of 15 (3months plus the next 2 weeks) is only 13%, so surely not that significant...

*hugs* chick - really hope you fee better soon and hoping you get your bfp next month

PFP - congrats on the decision. I think its the right one, if you have the money and ability to go HT then then you should :)
Wish we did!
Keep at it, persevere and im sure you will get your little pink bundle.

Lala- so sorry you are upset. It's unreal how we have all these symptoms and nothing Ahhhhh, so frustrating it's unbelievable. Like everyone else said it's really the overall pattern that sways. You do need to do what your gut says. Two weeks sounds short but when your on the diet it feels quite longer and you may decide it's enough time given all the months you have been doing it. Those months are not void now! Read Maggie girls sway she did diet for a very short time and got a girl :) your in a even better place having been doing the diet for many weeks before the past two.

PFP- very happy for you. It must be a relief to have the decision. Also great that you can get moving on it so quickly! Good luck to you. Awesome to have that security once you get preggo that IT IS a girl!!! I have a good feeling for you!! Good luck. Please stick around to update us, and for the mutual support! What are the steps you have to take? How long on birth control ? Then what's next? Etc etc !!

Lala -- I am so sorry. I know how hard it is for all this not to work. You have invested so much. Just buckle down and go back on the diet. I don't believe the 2weeks off the diet will really impact anything if you go back on hard core. Especially b/c you have been on it for 3 months. Plus, going back on the diet hard core after cheating will cause you to lose more weight before you o and that will really help your sway. I wish you all the luck next cycle.
I pray for all of us that we see those 2 lines so very soon.

H&D -- I am starting birth control today for two weeks. Then I stop taking bc and get my period again in 2 weeks. Cd2 I start taking the stimulants. My egg retrieval will most likely be 12-13 days later, around the 28th of April. Transfer (if God willing I have healthy girls to transfer) would be 5 days later. Then you generally know if you are pg a week after the transfer.
God I pray this works, I will really melt if it doesn't -- I really don't want to go through that pain again, nor hear my husband bitch about how he knew it wouldn't work.

Lala-soo sorry to hear, it is so hard ttc. It makes my heart sink. I hope next cycle is better!

Pfp- that was a ast turn around! It must feel good to be doing something! And eating! Kup with everything. Fx for you!

Hope, any more spotting?

Anyone hear from little miss since her u/s??