Originally Posted by
begonia
Oh how I hope this is me. I wonder though did you ever want boys to begin with? Because I never even would have picked ONE girl and now I will have 3, and I don't know how to get over that. Today I am so miserable about having 3 daughters that I could barely breathe at one point. I took my girls to a H'ween party and saw a family with 3 girls and it almost made me physically sick and I am sure most people thought they were precious (and they were), all dressed alike, but I couldn't stand the thought that that will be MY family makeup. Today, I regret getting pregnant at all. Today I wish I had just been happy with 2 kids and not ever wanted a third; I was OK with 2 girls. Three girls? It has made me sometimes even look at the 2 daughters I have, who I couldn't possibly love more than I do, with a detachment that I can't understand. Today I honestly have a hard time understanding why some people even want ONE girl. Today I'm REALLY mad at God...today is definitely one of my worst GD days ever, it has been since the moment I got up, and I don't know why.
But I keep telling myself I can get through today and it'll get better. This won't last forever. But TODAY has just flat out sucked. I wish I hadn't of swayed because for me, it really got my hopes up ... I knew it wasn't near 100% but I wanted to believe so badly that I would have a son that I DID believe it. And that has made this all the harder to bear.
I kinda think as much as I want to see so many people here through their TTC and pregnancies I just need to quit coming. I keep thinking that but it has been hard to commit because I do feel so connected and supported and encouraged here, but also ... it's just HARD to come here and see other people who still have a shot at their dream, and mine's OVER. Today is a bad day but I've had so many good ones that I know it'll be OK in the long run. All the best to everyone :kiss: