I think its great that some of you have all one gender and never experienced GD, and I know that those who have and have moved on are trying to help, but when the cloud of GD is over you, it doesn't feel like it will for you.
I had Post Natal Depression after my 2nd son was born (not because of his gender, this is my 1st experience of GD) and I could have happily given him away. I remember people who had been through depression telling me there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I wouldn't be this way forever and I would eventually love my baby. I couldn't see it. Thats my biggest fear, is the return of PND after this baby, I didn't get it after number 3 but I didn't are about his gender. I was happy with 3 boys and after quite a lot of bleeding early on I was thankful he was still here. It took me until DS2 was 2 years old and I was pregnant with DS3 to actually feel he was my child and I never want to go through that again. So I will embrace the feelings I feel during my pregnancy after my scan on Tuesday, I've already began grieving after my sure fire boy nub, and will allow myself to feel that way because then I will hopefully have accepted it by the time my baby is born and can love him for who he is.
We all know deep down that gender shouldn't matter the things we want from a particular gender are usually just stereotypes, after 3 brothers and with the most un-girlist girl ever as a Mum I doubt if I had a daughter she would be into any girl things anyway. It doesn't stop me wanting one. I know that the person my child becomes is much more important that their gender and health is paramount. I have felt awful for even caring, I think we have all struggled with our feeling of gender desire because we know that we should only care that the baby is healthy. But it doesn't stop what our heart wants, and sometimes no amount of logic will make our desires any less.
We are all here because we want a certain gender, even if when we get the opposite we are able to deal with that and be happy with out needing time to adjust.
I know every one of us gives our advice or shares our feelings to be helpful to each other, but I do think we need to allow each other the time to get our heads around the fact that the child we dreamed of is now going to be a different child, who wont be loved any less, but it still takes time to change that image in our heads. I feel this site is great because we can share our GD with out fear of being judged, we can hear "at least his healthy" anywhere, and we do know that that is the truth. At least he is healthy and he will fit right in with the family and I know I would never change one of my boys for a girl, so if this one is a boy, I will love him and I would never swap him. It wont stop me wanting a girl though.
I think I'm probably rambling now and I hope I got my point across with out sounding like I was saying anybodies opinions are wrong. xx
