Due in Mar/April/May 2015

I'm sooo sorry lovely ladies! La vie that must be really hard to hear after three home births.. I had two emergency c sections basically failure to progress both boys were posterior long labours and BIG babies. I found recovery okay and the whole operation not as nearly as scary as I thought it would be! I will be having a planned c section with this bub and I hear planned is very calm, controlled and you don't have the exhaustion of labour plus recovery of c section. Mrs incredible had natural births for all three and a planned c section for her fourth she might be a good person to talk too?
Baby beau isn't this the second time your mid wife has been terribly insensitive! Seriously DO NOT listen to her what a load of rubbish and such an OWT!!
Hope your little bubba moves into the right position soon still plenty of time :)
Please go and eat some chocolate and do something you really enjoy! Big Hugs XX

I should also say a second opinion is a GREAT idea and I would get one in your position X

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Originally Posted by kitkat18

Baby beau isn't this the second time your mid wife has been terribly insensitive! Seriously DO NOT listen to her what a load of rubbish and such an OWT!!
Hope your little bubba moves into the right position soon still plenty of time :)
Please go and eat some chocolate and do something you really enjoy! Big Hugs XX

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Yes that's her. Full of wisdom (well, full of something anyway)
Dh said to me last night "isn't a healthy baby the most important thing?" I said well can I not have a healthy boy?!?! He really doesn't care if it's a boy or girl.

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Originally Posted by Babybeaublue

Yes that's her. Full of wisdom (well, full of something anyway)
Dh said to me last night "isn't a healthy baby the most important thing?" I said well can I not have a healthy boy?!?! He really doesn't care if it's a boy or girl.

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What a darling DH you have babybeaublue!

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Originally Posted by laVieEnRose

i can't stop crying as I feel the power of giving birth myself is taken from me but of course I can't face a life of incontinence etc...would you take the risk? I am also thinking of microbinomes (any one watched Microbirth?), delayed cord clamping, skin to skin etc...
I will try to get referred for a second opinion and take it fom there...

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Hi hon. I had 3 quick and easy births with my boys. Like, totally perfect textbook births, in hospital, but no bother and 2 of the 3 I had no time for anything other than g&a. Then had a planned section for my dd, she was breech for at least 11 weeks, and I was very scared. But didn't want to risk something happening if I tried a regular birth. Because of my quick births before dd each time, they booked me in at 38 weeks. It wasn't as bad as I'd feared. The staff were lovely. I got skin to skin as soon as we were back on the recovery ward. I didn't have the high of a regular birth, and the recovery is much longer. But she was here safely. I was up and about the next day, and after a few days felt ok but didn't do any lifting, laundry or hoovering for a few weeks or drive til nearly 6 weeks. It gave me time to recover and bond with her, establish feeding. If it's the best option for you health wise, it's worth it. It's a different experience but not bad. I don't think I'd risk a natural birth in your circumstances (if the 2nd opinion is of the same conclusion) xx
(Natural/regular birth - just my way of saying vaginal!! Not meaning any offence to those who gave a csection (like me!), as long as baby arrives safely we are all winners!) one handed typing, plus it's late and I'm tired lol, hope this made sense :)


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Just fyi for those ladies experiencing SPD, lecithin can do wonders for helping with it for a lot of people. You can buy a supplement or increase your egg consumption to 2/day.

Oh LaVie.... I have had 2 emergency caesareans that were supposed to be homebirths. Brilliant labours, easy dilation but my boys didn't decend. With my second son I was dilated to 10cm & pushing hard for 11 hours!!! 4 of those were at the hospital waiting for surgery. After paying a fortune in scans & X-rays over the last 3 years it turns out I have a strange narrow elliptical-shaped pelvis & babies simply cannot get out. So this time I have elected a caesarean. I have seen Microbirth (my midwife & I are friends & we actually went together!) so she & I will be pioneering vaginal swabbing at our local hospital (as described in the movie) to help populate the baby's microbiome. I'm also eating a lot of fermented foods during pregnancy. Your decision is yours, but what I can tell you is hat caesarean does not have to be the tragedy that many in the natural birthing community make it out to be. Often, home birthing women are those damaged from a past traumatic caesarean. They go onto have a transformative VBAC & that is what you hear: caesareans are horrible & vaginal birth is wonderful. I believe there is significantly more gray than that. My first c/section was quite traumatic as it was totally unexpected. But my second, I had an excellent birth plan with some really simple strategies to make it better: monitoring pads fixed to my back instead of my chest. Heart rate monitors on my toes instead of my fingers. Dropping the curtain to watch baby being born, immediate skin-to-skin, no weighing or measuring until after the first breastfeed. Check out this YouTube for ideas if you do decide to go down that path. If the link doesn't work, search for "The Natural Caesarean: A Woman-Centred Approach". http://youtu.be/m5RIcaK98Yg

Wow, you lovely girls have totally overwhelmed me with your kind and encouraging words. Thank you for sharing your experiences too Kitkat, Mrs Incredible and Primal.
I went to my gp to request another referral but after talking to him he said it would be unlikely to hear a different advice. He made me see that it isnt worth the risk. My family has been very supportive but really encouraged me to follow the advice of the consultant and deep down I know is the right decision.

I am in a much better place than last week. I have now accepted the situation, and researched a lot of strategies to cope with this way of delivery. I have written a birth plan including vaginal swabbing, and 'walking' the baby (I saw that YouTube video Primal, so enlightening) immediate skin to skin contact, delayed cord clamping- if possible at all i also wish to be able to touch Baby as s/he is lifted out. i am just hoping that my OB will have an open mind and able to help me achieve most goals ...I'm meeting the OB on 10th feb.

I am apprehensive about the recovery and bonding with the baby. I'm searching ways to stimulate oxytocin production which isn't so high when you don't deliver naturally... So far, nothing seems to get you that high you get after natural delivery. Will ask for hugs all around at the hospital ;-)

mrs incredible: I too have had really quick labour and delivery for my 3 DS. Always been near or on due date. You said they booked you in for 38weeks. Is that the norm- about 2 weeks before due date?

Babybeau, I hope your baby gets in the right position soon.

Love to you all xxx

LaVie, glad you are feeling a bit better. It's disappointing to say the least being told that a section is your best option, but i honestly can say it wasn't nearly the trauma i was expecting it to be. I tried to look at the positives. And getting her here safely was my ultimate motivation for accepting it and not dwelling on the disappointment i felt. Ds2 arrived at 38+0 spontaneous labour one hour from waters going to holding him! Other 2 sons were 39+3 & 39+1. Because my labours were quick and before dd they didn't want to risk me going myself and staff inexperienced in breech deliveries looking after me. They usually only book sections from 39 weeks so i wasn't expecting to be taken sooner but it was reassuring that they were covering this angle. My worst case would have been a crash section and general anesthetic, another positive for the planned section!! Although there wasn't the high of a natural delivery, meeting my daughter, marvelling at her & bonding wasn't affected at all. I'd waited so long and was in awe of her, love at first sight. Just felt surreal. I made peace with the section because i really had no option and it had to be done. I would have loved it to be different but i still got my gorgeous baby, so it wasnt all that bad!! You'll have much more input into things than we have in the uk. It'll be so worth it!! Xx

You're right LaVie you won't find anything that gives you the natural high you get with a vaginal birth. It's the one aspect of my births that I do still grieve a little that I will never experience. What I can tell you is that not having "that moment" doesn't have to affect your overall bond with your baby. I was besotted with my second son the moment I saw him. The oxytocin flowed & through the oxytocin from breastfeeding it continued to grow. Surprisingly, my second caesarean was also transformative to the relationship I had with my first son, which was terribly disfunctional after my first traumatic caesarean. I felt the only way I could be healed was through a VBAC. Instead a CBAC healed the emotional wounds I had from my first caesarean. It was beautifully ironic, and honestly now I wouldn't swap my CBAC for a VBAC if I could. It taught me so much, made me more compassionate & less judgemental in all aspects of life. And recovery STINKS, but I'm hoping it won't be as bad for a scheduled caesarean as it was for the emergency ones after being awake for 2 days of labour beforehand.