Struggling with pigeon pair families.. still

So I had bad gd after I had 2 girls. But then I was fortunate enough to fall pregnant with a boy from 1 ivf Pgd cycle.

He is now 14 months and I still deepdown secretly despise pigeon pair families. If they go on and have a third then instantly my hatred disappears.

I particularly hate them when the kids are spoiled little snots.

Anyway to make matters harder 99% of people I know have a pigeon pair. Fortunately some are having 3rd babies.

When will this gaping raging chip on my shoulder go away? I think I am rude to people and they don't like me and I dribble further down into my hole.

I even struggle badly with people who do high tech with their second. I think do you want to avoid 2 of the same gender so badly you are willing pay heaps and go through the stress to do that.

I know exactly how you feel... It's hard to admit to though. I'd even go so far to say that I'm just jealous of anyone that has a girl, it feels like everyone has one except me. I've got 7 friends who are pregnant or just had a baby and all girls :sad:

It may just take more time for you to deal with this.

Gender disappointment is a VERY hard thing to deal with alone, cause not only is there the fact that you can't have your pigeon pair family but enormous guilt for feeling this way "when you should just be happy that you have a healthy baby" (As was said to me.) AND then to top it off if you go down the high tech path the stress, heartache and cost of it all.

Just give yourself some more time and don't be so hard on yourself. Don't forget your not alone... :Flower:

Im the same, I am riddled with jealousy when anyone who already has a boy, then gets a girl. Strangely, it doesnt bother me so much if they get the girl first? It's really like a slap in the face when someone has 2-3 boys then gets a girl. I dont know why, because on 1 hand, it gives me hope, but on the other hand im so jealous. Im always happy when people get what they want but I just want to know when it's my turn.

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Originally Posted by xnicolax

It's really like a slap in the face when someone has 2-3 boys then gets a girl. I dont know why, because on 1 hand, it gives me hope, but on the other hand im so jealous.

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I totally understand on that one xnicolax... Hopefully it will be our turn to get what we want soon!!

Thank you :)

I do know there are others but only through this website so still feel alone.

A couple times I've raised it irl but I have always received suspicious glances so never continued.

But I hate it because it makes me a nastybitter person and I think it shines through. I really wanna move on.

I always thought if I helped someone get a bfp through superior art that would help. But that's not happening!

Or if one of my friends had 2+ kids of same gender that would help but that's not happening either.

Seems like you never get over the thoughts you have about gender even when you're happy with your family. For what it's worth, I think pigeon pair is what most people want, and what could be the worst for the kids. Parents are thrilled (one of each right away), but I think it's so special to have two (or more) sibilings of the same gender (especially close in age). I understand how you're feeling, but what you have is better than a PP in my opinion :)

PlanB, I have a good friend from childhood who has a PP and when I mentioned that we were ttc, I stupidly mentioned swaying, that we were going to try a few things to up our odds of a boy, and she said, "Oh honey, it's all in God's hands, I don't believe any of that works." So, what, God wanted to bless you with the perfect family and not me? It did kind of set off a bit of the same feelings you have....but just remember that YOU have a perfect family now! You got your sweet boy! I bet there are a ton of women who would love to have your GGB family. That's what I had as a child, I was G#1, and it was awesome. I hope you start to have those feelings fade away, but don't feel bad about it....its natural!

Hi...I am soon going to be one of those hated PP families...I know this might be unwelcome but I just wanted to say that the OP has my dream family and I would never in a million years think I was better than anyone cos of my family makeup.

We swayed intensively for a year it wasn't just luck for us. I do believe in swaying I don't think it would have happened for us otherwise. It was a very humbling experience! Extreme dieting, Playing with DH's sperm in an incubator and not getting pregnant month after month was not my idea of fun baby making!!

It really makes me so sad to think I make other people really unhappy...although it's good to know people feel like this so I can be sensitive to others.

I really hope things work out and things get better for you in the way you feel. I really really envy those two little girls of yours.

We're not all smug cows...promise xxx

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Originally Posted by xnicolax

Strangely, it doesnt bother me so much if they get the girl first? It's really like a slap in the face when someone has 2-3 boys then gets a girl. .

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This is exactly the same for me, isn't it strange. Anyone that has only boy/s first and goes on to have a little girl, it really hits a nerve with me. I don't know if it's because i can relate more to that. I have two close friends with a Girl each who will soon be ttc thier 2nd child and i'm very happy for them and GD doesn't really rear it's ugly head there, but if a friend with a boy goes on to get pg i obssess constantly about what they will have. i don't know, can't help what you feel i guess.:sigh:

I'm totally jealous of your family. :-) My dream family was GGB but so far I have BB and will try *possibly* for #3 otherwise we may look at adoption as we have had to do IVF to have our kids and huge issues with pregnancy and prem babies etc so not sure if it's safe to have another.