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Just a thought but wondering if when we announce we are pregnant we could lie and say tat we are execting boy number 4 so its out there and done with and gives me and others time to deal with it and the comments wont shock me so much when people make comments at birth plus it avoids all the oh i bet you hope it its a girl stuff..... Then if a girl pops out we can just pretend the scan must have been wrong :-)
DH would never agree but its really what i feel like doing !!!
Why not just lie and tell people that you don't know what you're having but you're hoping for your 4th boy. That's what I've started doing. When people say things like "I bet you're hoping for a girl", I say "I've seen the boys we make and they're fantastic. I'm hoping for another one of those but will be happy with a healthy baby." That way, I won't have to deal with the awkward pity when our 3rd boy makes his appearance. People will think it's what I wanted anyways and I won't have to deal with any "maybe next time!" comments.
I thought about doing this exact same thing!! Chickened out though. I'm a rubbish liar. The worst part is my Mum wants to come to my gender scan so now I'm going to have to book two gender scans. One so I can find out on my own with DH (give me time to get to grips with the result) and another so I can pretend I'm hearing for the first time!! Grrrrr
After what I went through with the horrible comments when I was prego with DD3, I'd just flat out lie and say 'we aren't finding out this time," or "Its a surprise!" or something else.
Because you have 3 boys, everyone is going to assume you are desperate for a girl and its none of their business. The comments aren't meant to be cruel but they are horrid and only make you feel worse.
I am still debating what to do for me. If this baby is a boy I want to tell a few people, but those people have big mouths and DH probably won't be able to keep it quiet.
If its a girl, NO ONE other than DH and my Gender Dreaming friends are going to know until she is born!! I refuse to be verbally beat up once again because I have another girl on the way.
Lol, I'm totally thinking about doing this too!!...I just have a gut feeling it's boy #3 for us, and I will tell people that i'm soooo happy it is! and totally laugh it off and say i'm just a boy making machine! ..even though i will be 'secretly' sad I totally don't want others to tell ME 'how I hoped that it's a girl'...
actually almost everyone I know is aware of how much I wanted a girl...stupid me..I always asked about girl mom's diets etc. it will be hard to lie..but I gotta hide my emotions. specially from girl mom's who I don't really like lol. for example, my sis in law, who swayed girl, but acted like she didn't know anything about swaying...stupid bizatch!..when I asked her about it, she said she didnt do anything, but at the time her DH was really stressed and she took advantage?? wtf? ...she even makes comments like: I can see how strong your desire for a girl is, I can see it even more when you are holding my daughter etc...
anyway, some times, around dumb pple like that, it's best to give an answer that's just like a slap in the face, even if it aint true!
That is kind of annoying but I think that is the best thing to do for your own sanity. If its a boy you will have time to come to terms, if its a girl, you can just be thrilled once again!!Quote:
Originally Posted by 3boys
same here!Quote:
Originally Posted by 3boys
I think just saying you don't know the gender but another boy would be fab is a good idea to hopefully calm down the comments.
Unfortunately I don't think you can win either way - if you tell people you're expecting a boy you'll just get the comments earlier, and if you find out you're having a girl and tell people then you'll get all the 'oh thank goodness!'.
I've had all sorts of hurtful comments since I announced we are having our 3rd boy, such as "Oh no! Another boy?!", to "well you're not really a girly girl so it is probably a good thing', to a friend boasting about how lucky she is to have one of each, and then all the general 'oh so you're going to be trying again after this one then' and 'how are you going to cope with 3 boys?!'. Totally sucks that people think it is ok to make such horrible comments. I didn't let on to many people how much I wanted a daughter, we've always said (before we had ds2 even) that we hoped to have 3 children so you would think it wouldn't be such a surprise. But as soon as I got my bfp the comments started. My standard reply was 'we're just hoping for a healthy baby' or 'yes of course a girl would be the icing on the cake but another boy would be just as wonderful'.
I am actually toying with the idea of having a 4th baby after this one if my gd hasn't got any better, but the thing that puts me off more than anything is the comments that I know people will give. :(
Honestly, IF it wasn't for people's stupid remarks, I would totally be fine w/ another boy.. I am more afraid of what I will hear from everyone, rather than me not getting my DG. i know sounds crazy but it's only because i'm around so much talk..it's really annoying!
I know what you mean Wishing, peoples comments have definitely made it worse for me. I actually feel like I'm a bit of a failure which I know is silly, but when all you get is constant comments about how disappointed you must feel it is hard not to feel like that!