Am i being too picky and/or selfish

helllo everyone,i have so many mixed emotions right now,please dont judge when i post this
we were suppoused to be ttc starting in june but looking at the stats it seems as though quite a few get pregnant on there first or second attempt.myself and dh have said we want to try and time it to get a summer baby as we all have birthdays from sep-jan.
so my dh suggested we try in july i originally said yes,then i took time to think.in my last pregnancy i developed anxiety and panic attacks and to deal with these i have to be on my own,like in my own little bubble.now if i get pregnant near enough straight away i will have to deal with the morning sickness/panick attacks if they start again during the summer holidays when the kids are off,also my dh is losing his job so he might be at home too,and as i said i need to deal with things in my own way and have to think whats best for me as im petrified and becoming pregnant again but know i will regret it if we dont have another.so now im thinking of holding it back till august/sep.
Am i being too picky with trying to time it right?

:worry:

Not selfish at all. I am sorry you are feeling this way. The only thing I will say is that hardly anyone gets PG at the exact time they want to (me included). When TTC DS, I was going to be a bridesmaid in August 2012 so I came off BCP at the beginning of August 2011, thinking I would give birth at the beginning of summer and lose all the weight before being bridesmaid. Well ha - we conceived in December (we skipped November) and my due date was 2 weeks after being bridesmaid!

This time, I came off BCP at the beginning of Jan and with all my knowledge about how to get PG learned last time, i thought well I will definitely get PG in Jan or Feb! And here I still am in May.

You have to do what is right for your own health and wellbeing. If you think it is too risky to be PG during the summer hols due to the possibility of having panic attacks then maybe wait for that possibility to be over before TTC but just be aware that it might not happen straight away or at the most convenient time.

thankyou for listening and taking the time to reply.it is either mid june or if i feel ready mid august as the children go back to school first week in sep it may be ok.
it prob wont be mid june though.i think my dh is getting annoyed with me going on about it all the time and this is another reason why i think we should wait as he is being made redundant mid june which means he wont be in the right frame of mind to support me completely

You have to do what's best for you, your health and your family and you're not being selfish at all. It's actually really great that you're thinking these things through.

Whatever your decision, I'm sure you'll make the right one for you and your family and you'll have all the support you could possibly need on this site. 😊💜

i do feel like i get a lot of help and support from this site.thankyou.x

Im sorry to hear of your DH's redundancy. He might also feel that he wants to focus on his search for another position before focusing on TTC. The redundancy might put a lot of pressure on both of you and the added stress wont be helpful.

yes i know,we thought we were going to be ok but now found out yesterday that because he turned down an alternative job they offered him,which wouldnt pay enough money, they may not give him his redundancy money

Sorry this doesnt sound right? When offered the position, was he advised that this was a suitable alternative role and that it would entail a pay cut, and if he did not take it he would forefeit the redundancy? Was he offered a trial period because he is entitled to one? Was this offered role the same or very similar to role he had previously or was it different - this is key.

what industry is this? is it a small or large company he works for (I work in this field so can advise you on UK employment law)

to be honest i do not see how his employer can say this is a suitable alternative role if it involves a drop in salary. If you dont mind me asking, how much was the drop?

the drop is £3000 A year.stephk i can ask him it would be a big help if u could advise.xx