Had my ultrasound last week

And it looks like we are expecting baby girl #3! I was really hoping this baby would be a boy...but she's definitely a girl.

When we started TTC this baby, hubby said no matter the gender he didnt want a 4th. He wanted 3 & that was it. I agreed because I really felt this would be our boy. Wrong. Now he's still saying he just doesnt want anymore. He says apparently God didnt want us to have a son or it would have happened in 3 different chances. Maybe he's right. If this baby had been a boy, I would feel like I was done. So now I feel like im only wanting another baby for another chance at a boy. That somehow doesnt seem fair to me to have a baby just because I want a boy when we could very well get another girl. So maybe its best if we are done.

But now, since finding out ive had to deal with ALL those wonderful comments. "ANOTHER girl?!", "Oh wow! Well guess this means youll have to keep trying until you get a boy!", "Hahaha you just cant seem to get a boy can you?", "Phew...3 girls..I feel sorry for the 2 of you."

Really now? Why cant people just keep their mouths shut! Even after telling my MIL that we are having another girl, she said "well, now you can look forward to your girls growing up & giving you son in laws!"

How are futuristic son in laws suppose to make me feel better?????

I cried & cried & cried after finding out this one was a girl.....not bc she was a girl, but because i know ill never have a son. With DD2 I remember thinking, well, the next one might be a boy. Now, theres no more "the next one might be"

And everyone just assumes that my husband is miserable having 3 daughters. Hes a great dad & he loves our 2 girls now, he will love #3 just as much.

What made your GD better? Im definitely feeling better than I did the day we found out...but still having some GD issues. Im glad she looks healthy & all, but just broken hearted ill never experience a baby boy.

Hey Tex, I totally know how you feel....well, I can envision myself feeling that way if my next and last baby is also a girl. I think time will help heal, which you've probably heard a lot now.

But this is the thing that gets me: the comments! When I was pg for a short time before my m/c in May, everyone had the "hope this one's a boy!" comment immediately after saying congrats. People don't think what that means to mothers like us who desperately do want a boy. It's like saying to a heart surgery patient, "Wow, hope you get that artery fixed and don't kick the bucket tomorrow!" It's just stupid. I keep thinking that when I get pg again, I will come up with a really smart comeback that I will use at any comment like that. I haven't thought of it yet, but it may contain something to the effect of:

"Now, why do you feel for us? We have 3 beautiful daughters. Would it be different if we had 3 boys? Or would you just make the same idiotic comment?"

"Yes, this is a girl also. We are just glad to have conceived a healthy child and don't particularly fall prey to the gender biases of the less enlightened. But, sorry you do."

Stuff like that. I don't care if I offend or piss off anyone. Shame on them for making a ridiculous comment. I want to make people turn red and walk away as if I just crapped down their throat. I may sound harsh, but people with their comments to strangers, as innocent as they may be in the "just making conversation" mode, deserve to have their ass handed to them for that sometimes. I probably wouldn't say anything to a 100 year old lady. (:

I know I haven't yet experienced GD, but I just wanted to post here. I do hope it eases up over time and you can soon enjoy your pregnancy and hold your head high about your DD3. There is something to be mourned, and I totally know what you mean. You just have to let yourself mourn it and then move along and become stronger. Try to make yourself realize that the things that make you have GD, outside of the loss of having a son, which is legit, are just social constructs and ideas that STILL trickle down into our society....that having no sons means you are weak, or your DH is not as much a man as a dad with sons or some other BS like that....or the idea that a "complete" family means boys and girls. There are zillions of families who have only boys or girls, and they are just as complete and happy as ever!

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon! xxoo

I know what you mean about the boy comments after getting pregnant!! I had them with both DD2, & now DD3. With DD2 everyone said things like "Oh congratulations!!! Hopefully this one will be a boy!", then with this one... "OH! Well this one just HAS to be a boy." And when we would mention me having my tubes tied (I have to have c-sections anyway) after #3 regardless of the gender, people would say things like "I bet if its a girl youre husband wont want you to do that", or "You better hope its a boy then because im sure he'll be making you have a 4th"... REALLY!?!?! If either one of us wants to try for a 4th its ME not my husband.

People just really dont think about things before they say them.

Good luck TTC your little boy! I hope you get him, but if not all you can ask for is healthy happy little girls :)

Well, this past year of ttc and 2 m/c has definitely taught me the lesson of being happy with any baby at all! But thank you. I am having a little bit of a hard time since my ex-dh and his wife are finding out what they are having in a couple of weeks (she is due when I was), and I just know they will get a boy. And he so doesn't deserve it with him being a horrible person and all.....so, I am hoping I have some peace and a bfp by then.

Oh, and you know what I will do if I have a 3rd girl? Have lots of fun making her a super funky room, picking a name with my girls, spend time shopping for her, watch YaYa Sisterhood like 1,000 times, and generally delve into anything pro-girl so I am reminded constantly how amazing they are. Maybe some of that will help you move that GD out of your system? xxoo

Oh Texas I hope you feel better soon! I had mild GD when I found out DD2 was a girl; it's part of the reason I don't want to find out with #3 until birth. I think that once you see that sweet, sweet baby girl some of your GD will fade. Mine did, and continues to so much that I am sure I can handle having DD3, though like you I know I'll mourn never having a son. I think hearing "girl" at the us is just so... simple. When the actual BABY will be someone so much more complex! Especially on into her 1st year when you really start to see that personality come through. It will get better, for sure, when she is so much more than just "another girl." She'll be a well defined personality that no doubt will add joy to your family.

As for the comments, I'm with Lola, don't be afraid to hold a mirror up to them so they can see how ugly their words are. If I get DD3 I've already decided that when someone (particularly someone I don't know) says something offensive, I'll ask them to repeat themselves, and then after they say it the second time I'll say "Oh, I was hoping I misunderstood you the 1st time. I guess you really were being rude." And on the flip side I'm actually planning on the fact that IF we do get a son, we'll hear things like "3rd time was the charm" which I ALSO consider offensive, because I consider my girls to be fantastic successes. People say rude things thoughtlessly, and unfortunately we have to roll with it sometimes. They just need to learn to say "Congrats on that lovely baby" and walk away. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with awful comments on top of your GD.

:hugs:HUGS to you!

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Originally Posted by LolaInLove

Oh, and you know what I will do if I have a 3rd girl? Have lots of fun making her a super funky room, picking a name with my girls, spend time shopping for her, watch YaYa Sisterhood like 1,000 times, and generally delve into anything pro-girl so I am reminded constantly how amazing they are. Maybe some of that will help you move that GD out of your system? xxoo

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Love this! I already told DH if this IS DD3, she's getting a WHOLE NEW wardrobe as soon as I get out of the hospital, LOL! Fab new carseat cover, fab new layette ... all of it.

I really think 3 of a kind can be super fun, especially for the kiddos :-)

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Originally Posted by begonia

I really think 3 of a kind can be super fun, especially for the kiddos :-)

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I can't tell you how true this is, really it is - wonderful to watch as parents and so much fun for the 3 siblings. {hugs} texas x

Texmum, Im the youngest of 4 girls, and Ive got to tell you, I had the best childhood & even now as adults my sisters are my bestfriends, If Im angry or upset with one of my sisters I have 3 others to choose from, its great!

Friends of ours just found out they are pregnant with their fourth daughter, she was just getting all she needs to start swaying, but ovulated before she was supposed to and fell pregnant - this is why I think our children are already chosen for us.

All those people who give rude comments take pleasure in hurting others to benefit their own negative thoughts about their own life, dont let their comments get to you.

Enjoy your girls, no one knows if tomorrow is coming :kiss:

2 beautiful girls:biggirl2::biggirl2: - they are my life & 1 great husband - he's my superhero:superhero: - ttc next month.

Texmum, forgot to ask, did you sway at all with your third?

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Originally Posted by begonia

Oh Texas I hope you feel better soon! I had mild GD when I found out DD2 was a girl; it's part of the reason I don't want to find out with #3 until birth. I think that once you see that sweet, sweet baby girl some of your GD will fade. Mine did, and continues to so much that I am sure I can handle having DD3, though like you I know I'll mourn never having a son. I think hearing "girl" at the us is just so... simple. When the actual BABY will be someone so much more complex! Especially on into her 1st year when you really start to see that personality come through. It will get better, for sure, when she is so much more than just "another girl." She'll be a well defined personality that no doubt will add joy to your family.

As for the comments, I'm with Lola, don't be afraid to hold a mirror up to them so they can see how ugly their words are. If I get DD3 I've already decided that when someone (particularly someone I don't know) says something offensive, I'll ask them to repeat themselves, and then after they say it the second time I'll say "Oh, I was hoping I misunderstood you the 1st time. I guess you really were being rude." And on the flip side I'm actually planning on the fact that IF we do get a son, we'll hear things like "3rd time was the charm" which I ALSO consider offensive, because I consider my girls to be fantastic successes. People say rude things thoughtlessly, and unfortunately we have to roll with it sometimes. They just need to learn to say "Congrats on that lovely baby" and walk away. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with awful comments on top of your GD.

:hugs:HUGS to you!

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well said:highfive: