Making me so much worse....

There are two things that are making my horrific GD so much worse...what are your opinions according to your experience...?

1/ everyone else is disappointed too. I told my mum it's another boy and she said "how horrid for you" and laughed. My brothers was the same. Acquaintances etc all say "oooh shame".
Worse thing is, I agree with them all.

2/everyone around me is having/pregnant with girls. When I had my DS everyone was having boys so I was a bit comforted by it (I know it's stupid but it made me feel less lonely in my misery and I had no one to be jealous of).

In general, people say stupid, thoughtless things, either because they think it is funny, they are do not realise how hurtful the stupid, thoughtless things are or they are stupid and thoughtless.

I had a very similar experience during my DS 2 pregnancy with people making comments about my unborn boy. It p*$$ed me right off! I told me husband about the things people said (women and men, colleagues, friends, strangers in the street/ supermarket etc) and he was pretty shocked as people were only congratulatory to him, and as he is the elder of 2 boys, this was a 'normal' situation for him. Tbh he is quite a big lad though so maybe they didn't make any derogatory remarks for fear of him decking them... (Don't that he would of course! Lol) ;)

My mum made some ill judged comments during both ds1 and ds2 pregnancy until she found me crying on my bed and I told her about my GD. She was brilliant; understanding, non judgmental and appalled that any silly remark from her could have hurt me and made my depression worse. I don't know if this is an option for you, but having her know really helped me.

I promise you that NOW is the worst bit. Once you see him and hold him, the baby made from the love of you and your DH, who chose you to be his mama, you will see your child. He may have a willy but that doesn't define him! He's 50% you still, and he might have your eyes, hair, complexion, curve of your lips etc. :)

How's this for everyone having girls: my 2 NCT mummy friends who had boys first time round, and were team green pregnancies, both had girls within a month or 2 of me. Also, my local area post natal group has 12 babies in; 3 are boys. Now I see why my sway 'failed'; even the best sway can't fight evolutionary statistics ;) I'm making light of it, and both situations stung like a b*tch at the time, but now... Meh. Yes they are girls. But they are just girls. They are not MY baby, who is the most gorgeous of all of them together. ;)

You will be ok Hun. I think it was Adia who said 'fake it till you make it'. And if people are rude, start calling them out! Insulting an unborn child is appalling, and remind them that you are giving your big boy the best present he could ever have!

I know this wasn't your idea of 'perfect' but your boys are perfect, and one day this will be a distant memory.

Stay strong sweetie. Xxx

This was 100% my experience last time - I felt like I disappointed everyone and that made me feel even worse! Aargh - other people are the worst part of GD!!! I speak up now when I hear the stupid comments about all boys etc and just say how thrilled we are to have them and how the first is so great we just wanted another just the same! Not always how I felt but it is now and I agree that people have no right to insult your perfect gorgeous wonderful baby, now or ever and they deserve to be called out on it! Your boys will be so perfect and so different from each other that this will seem a distant memory, but I'm sorry it's so hard right now. Be extra kind to yourself and that gorgeous big boy of yours and I promise this will pass :)

When ppl would make comments about it being another boy and not a girl i would get pretty angry with them tbh. I was allowed to feel a bit of disappointment but they weren't, because this baby is special and he is mine and be damned if you say anything even remotely negative about him. They soon stopped making comments. Or if i made a comment i would get well they're healthy and thats all that matters-well yes of course, that goes without saying, doesn't it? Either way you can't win. I still struggle with number 2 daily. Constantly gets thrown in my face (not deliberately) that others are having girls etc. and apparently i don't make girls

Apparently I don't make girls either mum4life, or so says my mother in law :nono: (which apparently it's just not true, atomic replied to this in one of my other threads). We are actually telling the inlaws tonight it's a boy and I am sure she will be ever so pleased (she favours boys over girls strongly)'which actually will annoy me tons too (they can't win can they ;)

Ppl are so mean at times :/

So much pressure to have a girl to please everyone else!! Make me think if I had no one in the world to impress friends family no one who would make any negative comments, no defending my child before they are even born or people feeling sorry for me, would I care as much about wanting a girl....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Have to admit before my babys and learning all these things i occasionally made those comments not meaning anything by it but it was just a normal reaction I suppose. Now when I see a mum with 3 boys or something I always say wow 3 boys you are so lucky!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I actually ran into my ex BIL (who i haven't seen for ages) today just in passing, and we had a quick chat. And i was like 'oh i've got 3 boys now?' He was like 'you are so lucky to have 3 boys'....he has a girl and a boy, so that took me aback a bit because a lot of ppl look at me like i have 2 heads when i say i have 3 boys

Always refreshing to hear [emoji5]️


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk