Maybe bfns are my fault???

Hi Atomic and anyone else wanting to share their opinion. Apologies for the dramatic subject line lol I just didn't know how else to word it straight of the bat. After yet another bfn with a day b4 o attempt (5th time with day b4 o timing, o-3 prior to that) and this was an attempt after I was supposedly finished ttc, my husband read an article in one of our major newspapers the other day that in lay mans terms said "couples who regularly have 'unprotected' intercourse will fall pregnant quicker than those who don't as the female body starts viewing sperm more as a common occurence than an invader they have to destroy". So I'm wondering of course now if by my complete lack of sex drive and only dtd around our fertile period could be hindering my chances of a sticky bfp (I had a cp cycle 4 last bfn was cycle 6). I of course understand that more sex means more chance but I believe the article was referring to non fertile periods as well, during which we very rarely dtd. I'm debating one last crack at it (again) but I would do no more after this. With xmas coming I'd like to focus on my kids I do have rather than be obsessed with the possible baby I might have. Quick rundown of my sway that has pretty much gone to s#*t! I started le diet in mid march, a full 14 weeks prior to ttc. By cycle 3 I started going off diet during the tww then back on it again cd1. I know this is not ideal but this is what I do to keep my motivation going. DH will actually be on annual leave during my next fertile period which would be the absolute first time I've never had to worry/stress about timing even though somehow I've managed to nail it the last 5 cycles to day b4 o. I was thinking if we dtd cd7,8,9 unprotected then had our proper attempt at pos opk (could be cd11,12,13) then maybe my body would be more receptive to his sperm (adding here that last two cycles we've been using sperm safe lube and will use again). I WILL not ttc beyond next cyle that is a definate! I know that's a terrible to say but it is what it is and I'm not going to delude myself into thinking we'll continue this craziness next year. Which obviously means medical intervention is out of the question too and I'm ok with that. I just want a bfp honestly I don't really care about gender anymore although by doing the diet (even though its on and off) and trying to stick to CLOSE to one attempt (I mean any attempt o-2 I personally would not count as an attempt but thats just me :)) I would at least feel I gave it my best shot in MY circumstances. Just basically wondering if you'd add anything to what I've planned or take anything away. By dtd cd7,8,9 I'm hoping to basically flood my body with useless sperm lol, then our attempt on day b4 o might have a chance at living and I would be more than willing to set an alarm for midnight or close to in order to dtd closer to o. So, your thoughts on all this lol :)

I also want to say a humugous thank you for your support and guidance over the last 11 months (since I first purchased plan). You do an amazing job and I just wish I was younger and had the freedom to keep pursuing this dream. You're website, knowledge and support is unsurpassed in this subject/area that in many countries it so taboo. I wish I was I fabulously rich so I could endorse what you do. PS if I ever win big in lotto your are so on on my list lol!!!

Special shout out to xxforhubby. What can I say? You're an absolute inspiration, a rock for soooo many of us on here. I've never met you obviously lol but your posts provide so much encouragement and support and your an absolute gem!! You and Twointow have been the best!!

Twointow I just love you girl, totally, nothing else to say :), you know that [emoji8] you're like my online twin!!!! Please promise to pm me when you get a bfp!

Netti you're also a gem wishing you the happiest and healthiest nine months!!

Ok this is sounding like a aulogy so I'll stop here, all the girls I've been with over the six months know how much I want their bfps so baby dust to you all!!!! And thank you so much for putting up with me!

I think that just dtd every 4 days would up your chances without messing up your sway. And i think your dh would get on board too.

First of all, this is NOT your fault! Huge hugs honey- TTCing for a long time is hard! ^^I agree with sweetdream on this! I think you should BD unprotected every 4 days from the end of AF until you get past the latest CD you've ever ovulated. Ditch the opks, Ditch the temping. These things amp up the stress of TTCing skyhigh for those of us getting BFN after BFN. Plus, your DH will like the more frequent BDing and is more likely to continue TTCing.

Bonus- it still works out to be one attempt in your fertile window!!!

The frequency should be either BD on M then again on F or Saturday.

You got this! Your BFP is just around the corner! Your little one is just waiting for the perfect egg! It's so hard to keep going without the luxury of knowing when exactly it will happen. Trust me though, it WILL happen!

Oh and gobs of baby dust [emoji597][emoji92][emoji93][emoji94] (I personally requested pink for you [emoji175][emoji166][emoji175]!!)


DS1[emoji125]🏼, DS2[emoji577], DS3[emoji170][emoji577][emoji843][emoji602][emoji170] Jan. '16 I'll sway for a DD[emoji166][emoji171][emoji166] for my DH!!

Also, I've read the study you are talking about and it doesn't have to be back to back BDing. It is just regular intercourse. BDing every 4 days IS having regular intercourse that is pink friendly!


DS1[emoji125]🏼, DS2[emoji577], DS3[emoji170][emoji577][emoji843][emoji602][emoji170] Jan. '16 I'll sway for a DD[emoji166][emoji171][emoji166] for my DH!!

Yes, I read that too and that fits in with what we've observed with our boy swayers too. But you're blowing it all out of proportion - they tend to exaggerate the findings in the articles that they post in the media. Women get pregnant every day with sex only once with a new partner after months of chastity! Don't overthink things. I think you would be better served both for swaying and odds of conception by doing every 4 days OR every 3 days plus one more attempt at positive OPK. If you really want to pull out all the stops that's fine, do SMEP for best odds of conception Sperm Meets Egg Plan

The plan you're hatching is actually worse than fewer attempts because that pattern is NEITHER best odds of conception (or really even very good odds of conception) or for your sway. It's the worst of both worlds - you abandon the sway for something that is not going to even help you get pregnant! You also have zero evidence that sex 3 days is going to do anything for upping fertility- regular unprotected sex for that and not just a random 3 day burst. PLEASE PLEASE do SMEP for max. odds of conception. it's the best of the best there is.

i also want to clarify something about when the best odds of conception are. Having sex close to ovulation does NOTHING to help you get pregnant and in fact it HINDERS it. You can see this played out on the other sites where their blue swayers take months/years to get pregnant. SMEP is your absolute best bet for conception, and if you still want to have some aspect of swyaing, then e3d plus one more attempt instead.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by XXforhubby

Also, I've read the study you are talking about and it doesn't have to be back to back BDing. It is just regular intercourse. BDing every 4 days IS having regular intercourse that is pink friendly!


DS1[emoji125]��, DS2[emoji577], DS3[emoji170][emoji577][emoji843][emoji602][emoji170] Jan. '16 I'll sway for a DD[emoji166][emoji171][emoji166] for my DH!!

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:agree: exactly. Some people with fertility issues (bad ones, who are generally the people who end up being studied in studies like this) are misguidedly doing abstains for 7-10 days and/or their sex lives have been all but destroyed by the TTC journey and they may only be having sex once a month to get pregnant (or not evne that much if the wife isn't ovulating on her own) Every 4 days, every 3 days, those ARE regular sex!

Thank you ladies!!

Atomic I'm so glad I asked now. Trust me to come up with a worse plan [emoji23] I think I'll do as xxforhubby suggested and ditch the temping and opks. I'll start e3d at end of af which will likely stop after cd7. I've oed anywhere from cd11 to cd15 in the past so I think e3d would be best :). Thanks again and fx!!

:pinksperm::

:cheerteam::cheerteam:

Sounds like a plan! Goodluck and sticky pink dust.

If you're dropping OPKs, then e4d is best. Guaranteed one attempt in the fertile window.

GL!

Good luck! I think your BFP is just around the corner! Every 3 days without charting and opks will take a lot of the stress off your shoulders. And if you want to continue flooding your body with sperm, just continue BD every 3 days till AF shows or you get your BFP!