BABY DESIRE, not just gender desire. Anyone else?

I am wanting another baby so badly I could cry...actually I have. Many times. I would love a girl for my DD to finally have the sister she's been praying for but I just want ANY baby.


A little about why this is:

It all comes down to healthcare costs....which is a terrible reason to not be able to bring another sweet baby into this world. We have health insurance but it doesn't cover maternity...at all. There is no chance of an insurance change, in my state it costs an arm and a leg)

And the bottom line is that the cheapest way for us to have one would be to pay cash up front for a discounted price. Without any pain meds and assuming a vaginal delivery the would be about $7,000...up front, has to be paid before disharge from the hospital. And I had a c-section last time since baby was breech so there is a very real possibility that would happen again. Now we"re talking $12,000+.

To some that may not sound like much. We make an ok living (at least I thought so) but things keep coming up. DS2 broke his arm recently....that took $4500 (and counting) out of our baby funds.

Life is expensive. :(

I try to stay away from this site because it makes me want to sway soooo badly. Not even sway, just ttc at ALL! My body is craving pregnancy! Does that make sense?

I just feel like its so unfair that we don't get to have another baby (at least not in the next few years, but by then I'll be too old and won't want to start over - too big of a gap too)!

We're good parents. We have a very loving home. And we're missing someone. :sad: I just know it. I keep counting heads when we're at the grocery store or sitting at the dinner table and I feel someone missing.

Can anyone else commiserate with me????

Where abouts do you live? Don't they have a public health system for maternity?

Can you qualify for medicare, or can you go to a charity hospital? When I had my youngest DD, she was born at a hospital that offers help if you are in economic hardship. At the time she was born, my DH was laid off of work, and the hospital covered my insurance deductible. It was great. I hope you are able to find a way to bring a baby into your life!

Thanks for the suggestions ladies! We make too much for any government help (but not a lot by any means) and not sure I could feel good about getting pregnant (with #5) knowing I was going to depend on on government $. :(

I did find a way of getting the maternity care for cheaper but they don't do the delivery and would still have the hospital bills, which is the bulk of it.

I'm constantly looking but can't seem to find anything. I live in Arizona so insurance is super expensive! and (I hope this doesn't offend anyone!!!) but we have a lot of illegals that use the hospitals so they jack up the prices for the rest of us to cover those unpaid tabs. :( Not fair.

I know I sound selfish since I already have 4 healthy kids.

Can you pay the hospital with some sort of payment plan? How were you able to afford the first 4 kids?

hugs to you my dear dear friend. you have helped me through so much and i honestly feel for you babe. i know exactly how you feel about "someone missing" who cares if you have 4. i had 5 and i still knew someone was missing. hopefully i am carrying my missing link hehe.

i would say try for the gov. assitance. hell your husband works his rear off to put half his paycheck in a pot for 16 year old hoochies from maury who have no idea who their baby's daddy's are. why can't you have a piece too?

if you are against that maybe the hospital would work with you? they really are very nice, it took my aunt 10 years to pay off her daughters birth but she said, "what are they going to do repo her?" maybe a nearby smaller hospital would be more willing to work with you.

and hey if all else fails. i've had enough babies. you come over here and i'll deliver your baby. i can hit you over the head with something to knock you out if you feel too much pain. hugs to you! if you need me you know where to find me

The first 3 kids I had in another state with wonderful insurance. Paid $375 for 1 and 2, then ins changed and we paid about $3000 for #3. #4 I had different ins but it was AWFUL and he cost us over $12,000. My mom lived with us for over a year and paid rent to help with those bills....still paying that baby off.

If you pay in cash up front its less than HALF the amount than if you get billed and pay over 3 years. So the hospital alone (no meds or baby care and vag delivery) is $3900 if paid up front, if billed it's $7500. And the OB care and delivery is $3000. If its anothe c-section than the hospital bill is almost double those #s. :(

Sooooo frustrating.

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Originally Posted by girlmom

hugs to you my dear dear friend. you have helped me through so much and i honestly feel for you babe. i know exactly how you feel about "someone missing" who cares if you have 4. i had 5 and i still knew someone was missing. hopefully i am carrying my missing link hehe.

i would say try for the gov. assitance. hell your husband works his rear off to put half his paycheck in a pot for 16 year old hoochies from maury who have no idea who their baby's daddy's are. why can't you have a piece too?

if you are against that maybe the hospital would work with you? they really are very nice, it took my aunt 10 years to pay off her daughters birth but she said, "what are they going to do repo her?" maybe a nearby smaller hospital would be more willing to work with you.

and hey if all else fails. i've had enough babies. you come over here and i'll deliver your baby. i can hit you over the head with something to knock you out if you feel too much pain. hugs to you! if you need me you know where to find me

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LOL! You always make me laugh! Thanks Sweetie! I know you're there for me no matter what!

And you nailed it! I saw some teenager knocked up by an older man that was obviously out of work and I just knew that DH's tax dollars were paying for her delivery. It made me sooooo mad! I would bring a baby into a very loving home! Who knows where they stay....

I'll keep looking but I feel like I've exhausted all options. DH would never agree to a home birth especially since it would be a VBAC. And in this state you have to do it unassisted...no midwife. :( ...Not that it's even an option.

Has anyone won the lottery recently?..... :grin:

I hope this is your missing link too!!!! I think it is. You deserve that baby more than anyone I know!!!!

And that's the problem, there are so many people out of work that we look "well off" compared to others. I'm beyond grateful that DH can bring in income but I wish healthcare didn't cost so much! It's ludicrous!!!

Oh no, i had no idea about the costs involved with having children where you live. So sorry that this is the one thing holding you back. Is there any chance you could move? I definatly know how you feel wanting that next baby, i keep looking over my DD's baby pictures and am SO very clucky, a boy would be awesome, but really i will be happy with ANY baby.