Lost my baby

I started spotting at 5 weeks exactly and went to the doctors. They had me come in for bloodwork and repeat ultrasounds. While the hormone levels were high and increasing appropriately they could not see any gestational sac. They saw a fluid filled sac but no development. I had to have a d&c at 6w5d as they are suspecting a molar pregnancy. They have sent the tissue to pathology and we will know the results by next week.

It hurts so bad like my heart won't ever heal. It is my first pregnancy loss.

Soni, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
You are in my thoughts & prayers.

Oh Soni sweetie, I am SO very sorry for your loss. It hurts like HELL doesn't it. :sad:
:broken::sadflwr:
I hopped right back on Vitex and started Red Raspberry Leave Capsules
the next morning, if you want to heal faster and hop back on the TTC train. That's what I wanted to do. But don't rush anything if you don't want to, give yourself time to grieve.

Attachment 2578

Nothing on earth compares to losing a baby! :(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BeadinMom

Soni, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
You are in my thoughts & prayers.

---

Thanks for your wishes, BeadinMom

I'm so sorry.

Im so sorry soni. There are no words for this situation. I hope you are ok :(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Butterfly Spirit

Oh Soni sweetie, I am SO very sorry for your loss. It hurts like HELL doesn't it. :sad:
:broken::sadflwr:
I hopped right back on Vitex and started Red Raspberry Leave Capsules
the next morning, if you want to heal faster and hop back on the TTC train. That's what I wanted to do. But don't rush anything if you don't want to, give yourself time to grieve.

Attachment 2578

Nothing on earth compares to losing a baby! :(

---

Thanks Butterfly Spirit. I am so sorry for your loss, as well. Just saw it from your siggy. I have not been on here for while with everything going on. It does hurt worst than anything ever! I do want my body to heal and to start TTC again but the doctor has said to wait for one cycle atleast. Does Vitex and Red Raspberry make it better?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink

I'm so sorry.

---

Thank you, nuthinbutpink.

Thanks, Cinss. I am physically okay. Still bleeding after the d&c but its like a light period. Emotionally, yesterday was my first day at work and everytime anyone asked if I was okay, I started tearing up. It was hard being back. But, it gets better every day. I am hopeful that this will not happen again.

I'm so sorry Soni

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soni

Thanks Butterfly Spirit. I am so sorry for your loss, as well. Just saw it from your siggy. I have not been on here for while with everything going on. It does hurt worst than anything ever! I do want my body to heal and to start TTC again but the doctor has said to wait for one cycle atleast. Does Vitex and Red Raspberry make it better?

---

Thank you. It's SO hard, it's just nothing I ever imagined.
Mocha healed and conceived right after her M/C and she had a baby GIRL! That is the one bright thing from this sadness. We are more fertile than usual and it's an automatic sway of girl.
Vitex will most likely help bring back AF or O about 2 weeks after maybe a little after it depends.
But as soon as the ER told me I MCed I hopped on youtube and I saw a lady who also conceived a baby girl right after by taking Vitex and Raspberry Leaf tea, so I hit up Atomic and then communicated with Mocha and found it to be a great idea to TTC again.
I'm sorry, I don't know what you are trying to conceive, I'll just tell you just incase you want another sweet girl!
Some docs say wait 3 months, and others say as soon as you ovulate, just go with your heart.
Apparently the Raspberry Leave Tea is a WONDERFUL uterus toner and strengthens the uterine lining! It's even safe in pregnancy, but much later on could induce labor.
Here's where I am. I took a HPT last night and I didn't see a line, and my OPK looks like the line is coming in, and I have white very stretchy cm.. so I think O is on it's way! :) However please keep in mind I bled almost single day (except one single day) even 3 days before my confirmed BPF.

Anyways, I have never liked tea.. I just can't stand it! So I found the capsules! I am taking both
Nature's Way Vitex and Raspberry Leave Capsules. You can get them from amazon but I last week found them at a store next door to me.

I will be here if you need to talk, feel free to pm me anytime!

Soni, I am so, so sorry. :( :hugs:

Oh Soni, I'm SO sorry to hear this. Praying that it wasn't molar.

PS - Soni, just so you are aware and it doesn't come as a complete shock, if it was molar, you will probably need to wait a year before TTC.

:( Im so so sorry Soni

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n...2006/loss1.jpg

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Soni, I am SO sorry to read this. I will PM you, but let me say that I felt the same exact way after all 3 of mine. With the last, I literally writhed in pain on my bed and screamed at God for a good 3 hours. In fact, I will cry right now if I think about how painful it was. But let me give you a PROMISE: you will heal and life will go on and odds are, you will be holding a sweet newborn in the next year sometime. Take the time to grieve, it is good for you, I believe. Let your DH see you cry and let him cry to you. Support each other as much as you can and make it your goal to be a stronger team because of it. Know this also- miscarriage is nature's way. Your embryo did not grow most likely because something was wrong, and our bodies know it and will not grow them. Nature wants you to have a healthy and viable baby.....and this does not in any way mean you will not have one right away. I did- my DD1 came immediately after my first m/c.

Take care of yourself and eat a bunch of ice cream and drink wine and cry and lay in bed all day- this is the path to healing. Once you get it all out of your system, you can begin to see the light peeking from around the dark curtain and eventually, you will open the curtain and have a whole new fresh outlook.

Thank you everyone, for your kind words. It means a lot to me. I feel like I have aged so much since January 2012 when we started TTCing. We were excited to finally start trying, swaying, the supplements. Then slowly seeing BFNs every month got frustrating. We were over the moon when BFP happened and told both sides of our families and then this loss. I wanted a dragon baby and when I got a BFP - I was like yeah I just caught the end of the dragon year. But then the miscarriage happened. Its been such a roller coaster of emotions. Before anyone asks how are you, I have my answer ready I'm fine, but really I am not. Nothing with the world is.

I am scared to start TTCing. Atomic, I hope its not a molar. I do not want to wait that long. A part of me also is scared that since it wasn't a natural miscarriage and I had to have a d&c, that would probably affect my fertility. I have seen a close friend of mine struggle with infertility after a d&c. She has her DS now thanks to IVF but was in a very dark place for years.

My DD is turning 4 this month. I never intended there to be such a huge gap but life happens, I guess.

I am so so sorry :( xx

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Butterfly Spirit

Thank you. It's SO hard, it's just nothing I ever imagined.
Mocha healed and conceived right after her M/C and she had a baby GIRL! That is the one bright thing from this sadness. We are more fertile than usual and it's an automatic sway of girl.
Vitex will most likely help bring back AF or O about 2 weeks after maybe a little after it depends.
But as soon as the ER told me I MCed I hopped on youtube and I saw a lady who also conceived a baby girl right after by taking Vitex and Raspberry Leaf tea, so I hit up Atomic and then communicated with Mocha and found it to be a great idea to TTC again.
I'm sorry, I don't know what you are trying to conceive, I'll just tell you just incase you want another sweet girl!
Some docs say wait 3 months, and others say as soon as you ovulate, just go with your heart.
Apparently the Raspberry Leave Tea is a WONDERFUL uterus toner and strengthens the uterine lining! It's even safe in pregnancy, but much later on could induce labor.
Here's where I am. I took a HPT last night and I didn't see a line, and my OPK looks like the line is coming in, and I have white very stretchy cm.. so I think O is on it's way! :) However please keep in mind I bled almost single day (except one single day) even 3 days before my confirmed BPF.

Anyways, I have never liked tea.. I just can't stand it! So I found the capsules! I am taking both
Nature's Way Vitex and Raspberry Leave Capsules. You can get them from amazon but I last week found them at a store next door to me.

I will be here if you need to talk, feel free to pm me anytime!

---

Thanks Butterfly Spirit. I am actually swaying boy but Mocha's story sounds inspiring and I hope it turns out the same way for you! Yay to ovulation coming closer.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LolaInLove

Soni, I am SO sorry to read this. I will PM you, but let me say that I felt the same exact way after all 3 of mine. With the last, I literally writhed in pain on my bed and screamed at God for a good 3 hours. In fact, I will cry right now if I think about how painful it was. But let me give you a PROMISE: you will heal and life will go on and odds are, you will be holding a sweet newborn in the next year sometime. Take the time to grieve, it is good for you, I believe. Let your DH see you cry and let him cry to you. Support each other as much as you can and make it your goal to be a stronger team because of it. Know this also- miscarriage is nature's way. Your embryo did not grow most likely because something was wrong, and our bodies know it and will not grow them. Nature wants you to have a healthy and viable baby.....and this does not in any way mean you will not have one right away. I did- my DD1 came immediately after my first m/c.

Take care of yourself and eat a bunch of ice cream and drink wine and cry and lay in bed all day- this is the path to healing. Once you get it all out of your system, you can begin to see the light peeking from around the dark curtain and eventually, you will open the curtain and have a whole new fresh outlook.

---

Thank you, Lola. You are one of the most inspiring people on these boards. I know of your losses and struggles with infertility and yet you are always around to cheer everyone. I did not get out of bed for 3 days. I just cried all day. I did not think being so early, it would hurt so bad. But, it did hurt. I raged at God, too. Why give me hope just to take it away. I could deal with BFNs but this is the worst thing ever! It has gotten better, a little. But, the sight of pregnant women and babies brings it all back.

I am so sorry hon...massive big hugs xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Oh hun so sorry to hear about your loss, :sadflwr: hope you are ok, you'll get through this, be strong and take your time, we're all here for you, take good care of yourself

Soni, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is an awful experience to go through. I also had a d&c 7 weeks ago and the pain is still there but, it is easing, as yours will too. Thinking of you! xx

I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. I know in time you will find peace and be ok! I promise ! (((hugs)))

I'm so sorry for your loss :LotsofLove:

I am so very sorry for your loss.:sadflwr:

Soni. Just saw this and thinking of you today. I had a loss recently too. D&C at the end of Feb. it is so hard to deal with. Wishing your heart a speedy recovery. Just know you're not alone.

Soni - I'm soooo sorry you're having to go through this. Miscarriages are so awful and heartbreaking, but your angel baby will watch over you and your family forever. I'll be praying that you don't have extra complications that delay your TTCing again :HH:

I'm so sorry ((HUGS)) :hugs:

Sorry for your loss!

Hi, soni! I had a molar pregnancy back in 2010 and got pregnant with a healthy baby early this year. Unfortunately I lost him at 21 weeks as the consequence of amnio, but he was healthy and would be still in my womb if I had not made this bad choice. So you can get pregnant with a healthy baby even after a molar pregnancy. Like you said, it gets better every day and hope is all we have left when life presents us with adversity. I still hope next time will be better.