say things were reversed and instead of being on here to TTC boy, all you had was boys. do you think youd even try for a girl?
vice versa...if youre on here TTC girl...say you only had girls, would you desire a boy??
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say things were reversed and instead of being on here to TTC boy, all you had was boys. do you think youd even try for a girl?
vice versa...if youre on here TTC girl...say you only had girls, would you desire a boy??
I def. would have been just as upset over not having sons. I really had a strong desire for a boy with my first and happily got him, and then was neutral with my 2nd (even tho everyone around me wanted me to have a girl, I really didn't care either way) and I rem. looking down at him and saying "It's a boy!" and being really just totally overjoyed about it.
All along I just thought there would be a girl at some point in the mix but years passed and we didn't have enough money or space to TTC again. I never felt scared or worried, I just thought it had to happen eventually from sheer luck.
Even when I got pg with DS 3 I didn't have a strong pref. either way. I wanted a girl but I thought I'd be happy about a boy too because I love being a boy mom. It was only when I had so many girl symptoms and then the Chinese Gender Predictor said girl, that I got so invested in the idea that I set myself up for such a huge disappointment.
If i understand your queston correctly, i would have to say all my life i wanted a daughter, and i got one first up so i never really felt GD. I was over the moon when i found out she was a girl, not sure how i would have felt if it was a boy? Being the first child it probably wouldn't have made me upset or anything, i am not sure.
I am swaying for a boy, more for DP than me, he now has 3 daughters and longs for that boy. I am not going to be upset with another daughter, he probably is though, and i want to do it for him. So in answer to your question Yes i would sway for an opposite while i already have my DG.
Yep, I wanted both. Not a PP, but BBG or BGG. But I'll be happy with BBBG, wouldn't trade DS3 for the world. :)
Yes definitely. I really wanted DS1 to be a boy, to the point that when people said I was carrying like a girl baby I was disappointed. When he came out a boy I was overjoyed. I didn't sway with DS2 either and when I was pregnant I didn't care either, but I was confident he was a SHE. It was only once he was born that I realized I wanted a girl as well as a boy. I always wanted 3 kids, so I have swayed for pink this time. When DS2 was newborn I was desperate for a girl, but now he is nearly 2, and the boys play so well together and are just gorgeous I find myself a little less obsessed with having a girl. I think it's just that everyone keeps saying I 'need' a girl, I feel like I am missing out on something if I dont get her, if you know what I mean?
Yes. I would have wanted both and would have turned to HT for a girl had I had only boys. I did want a boy first though so I say that with that baggage so perhaps difficult to answer accurately.
I always had a desire to have one daughter, and now that I have my girls I adore them. But if I'd only had boys I probably would not have swayed to get a girl since I feel so terrified of being a bad mama to daughters :(
No :hide: i always wanted three girls. I bet DH would have wanted a boy, and if he wanted one, then yes I would have for him. I wouldn't trade my DS's for the world and I'm so glad I have them but to be honest, no.
I would still sway too. I would like to be able to experience having both a boy/s and girl/s. But, like Cinss, I am mainly swaying for DH and I won't be too upset if it's a girl, but I know he would.
If I had all boys, I may have wondered "what if", but I would not have swayed for a girl. I never wanted daughters, so if I had ended up with a bunch of boys like I wanted, I would never have known (or cared) what it was like to have a girl.
I honestly don't know. I always imagined I'd have girls (I grew up with just one sister) and was surprised to get my first boy! After that I didn't have a real preference - until it hit me some time after my third that I may never have a daughter. I adore my boys but I don't know if I'd 'get it' if I didn't have them. I know DH would have wanted a son but I don't know how strongly he would have felt about it. I would have tried for a boy if he wanted it enough but I just don't know that I'd have wanted it without knowing what I know now.
No, I don't think I would. Of course that's not 100% guaranteed... but I highly doubt it. Before I had kids I never wanted even one son let alone two. I thought I was getting all daughters. I think I would have been done after two girls (I loved the idea of 3 girls, but dh would have probably said no more after two. We only had three kids now because I wanted a dd :p). Though I reckon I would have been a very proud defensive mum of girls (as most in my area want sons and make stupid comments to people who have all girls).
This question's made me realise I'm quite grateful I didn't get what I wanted. I was scared to have boys. I had alot of issues with males that stemmed from my childhood; I thought I'd be the worst mother to a son, and that they'd end up like most of the males in my family (in other words, like assholes).
If I had I wanted straight up (all girls), I would have continued being ignorant about boys and I would've never realised that all the crazy things I thought were stereotypes. My boys have taught me heaps. They made me feel at peace with many issues that I would've continued to have had they not been born. Without them I wouldn't be the happy mum I am today.
Yep...I want to experience both genders!! I actually wanted a boy first...would of been happy to then have 5 girls!
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I never thought about it until my first mc where the pregnancy was a complete shock having been told we couldn't conceive without help. I immediately and completely knew it was a girl and that loss was so devastating that I find it so hard to contemplate never having a living girl. That was a pretty specific experience and without it I'm pretty sure I would have strongly wanted a mix anyway - it was all brothers and me growing up so I feel comfy with boys but it felt pretty isolated being the only girl and I'd like to have someone to share with.
I really wanted a Girl first and when I found out he was a boy I was upset but i did know deep down he was a boy before My 20 week scan.. Tho I am so glad i did get a boy first I am still desperate for a girl!! And I know if I did have a girl first I would of wanted a Boy next. And If I did have a girl now I wouldnt care If I then went on to have more boys!
I was desperate for a boy with my first baby and now I have 7!! I have never swayed with my babies and very much believe we get what we need, not always what we want.
Yes I want to parent both genders but I still won't sway. Come What May.
When I was pregnant with my twins we didn't find out the gender. I was sure they were girls, and told everyone that if they were we wouldn't have anymore kids unless dh wanted to try for a boy. I'm not sure that's what I would have really done, though. I grew up with 3 older brothers and my best friend in childhood was a boy as well. I think I would have felt I was missing out never having a boy. I'm fairly sure I would have tried at least once for one after my twins, possibly twice.
In the end I'm glad things worked out the way they did. My family structure will be the same as I had growing up: 3 boys then a girl. It feels like fate.
wow all interesting responses. for me. ive always wanted and thought id have mostly boys. i think bc im a tomboy myself and have lived my life *i* think with more testosterone than most of my "much more girly" friends. so i was pretty shocked when i had my 1st girl and even more when the 2nd one came. actually all my friends and fam were pretty surprised too. if i had to think about it, i THINK the reason i wanted boys is bc i think i know how to raise boys better than i know how to raise girls. ive always got along better with boys in life and not so much with girls (only certain types...but there was never a PERFECT girl friend..whereas all my guy friends were perfect). i also had 2 brothers, the younger one which i kind of helped raise. i always considered myself more "masculine" than the "typical" girl and was afraid i guess that if my girl wanted girly things id be lost..or that id try to turn her into me by forcing her to be more masculine or that we wouldnt get along (the way i didnt get along with a lot of girls). i also think it has something to do with mine and my mother's rlshp. its strained in that we dont get along. she is overly traditional and "girly" and besides that, we dont think the same so our conversations are mostly trying to figure out what the other one said, having stated one sentence, a LOT of misinterpretations. we just dont get each other. so that probably is the main reason...?
but as it turns out i get along SUPERBLY with my daughters. i now get along better with my female friends (actually i did so as i got older/closer to getting married). my rlshp with my mom is still awkward even tho i put tons of effort in trying (i dont get effort from her side). and i no longer feel that my rlshp wth my dtrs will be strained (like mine with my mom).
and hope that its not. already i keep open commuinciation with them unlike my very cultured mother where you dont talk about things openly.
so i think the experience i currently have withg my dtrs today "cured" my need for wanting only boys (and maybe one girl). but i think now that i will have 3, its almost like a challenge to me. and also i still do want at least ONE boy just to have both genders. namesakes and all that arent impt to me. i just want to see what a little boy from me and my husb would be like..
i think if i had 3 boys, id prob be ok and stop there but who knows...i know i wanted at least one girl.
I had only dreamt of little girls before I got pregnant, and I hate admitting this, but felt "sorry" for my sisters when they were pregnant with boys before I even had kids. Because of all the boys that my sisters and brother had, I felt so *sure* I'd have only girls, and was quite shocked with DS1.
However, just as another poster on here has said, I feel the boys really expanded my horizons and helped me with some stereotype issues I might have had with boys, which is strange, since I have always got along so well with men, and my older brother and I get along great, it's just that I never thought having/raising boys was going to be "fun" when I was younger, and I always thought a daughter/mother relationship was better than a son/mother relationship.
I think God gave me two sons to shed the light on my incorrect thoughts...to help make me a better, more well rounded person. I love my little men with every ouce of my heart, and am so grateful now for how things have turned out. Though I do love my sons, and I am getting my desired daughter in Sept, my thoughts of late have come to trying again (already!) for a 2nd DD and I feel maybe this is too greedy. In another way though, I guess I am still longing to get my long desired dream of at least two daughters, and there is something very neat and even about two boys and then two girls that appeals to me as well.
I know for sure though that my if we had only girls, my DH would def. keep trying for a boy. He really wanted only boys, so in this case, I am hoping little baby girl Lillian in Sept. will open HIS eyes much the same way my eyes were opened to how awesome boys are when we had our two boys! So I am sure if I only had girls, I would surely, 100% go for a boy, mostly for my DH, but still I would def. do it.
Yes definitely. I always wanted two boys and two girls and I always wanted to have a boy first. I was so jealous of my friends and cousins who had big brothers. So I was delighted when I found out that DS1 was a boy.
If I had two girls instead of two boys I would definitely be swaying for a boy, probably twice.
No. If I had a girl first, I wouldn't have been inclined to try for a boy or even another child.
No. I don't have the desire to have a boy the way I desperately wanted a girl.
For me if I had two girls instead of boys I would definitely still be here swaying for a boy. I always wanted at least one of each
If i had all girls, i don't think i would try for a boy, maybe only for my husband... But that purely hypothetical as i didn't know how nice and cute and adorable and heartstealing boys could be. If i had known that in advance i would sway my ass off!
I think that's why i have boys, to learn me prejudgements are stupid :-)
Yes i would. When i was young & single i knew that i wanted girls and boys but more prefered to have a boy first
I think I already answered this but I wanted a boy DESPERATELY with my first. I used to get along a lot better with guys than girls and was actually pretty scared of having a girl at that point. I was so thrilled in the delivery room to hear "it's a boy". So yes I would have had just as bad a GD for a boy and maybe even worse, than I did for a girl.
Most definitely yes. My family could not be complete without at least one son.
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I always dreamed of 2 boys & 2 girls but really expected ds1 to be a girl. Girls are just what we do on both sides of my family & out of 9 of us grandchildren only 2 are boys. I was so shocked to have a son first! If he'd been a girl that pressure that I've felt ever since (from myself only) would never have come into my life. I'd have been so much happier to accept whatever gender my subsequent children were. However, I do know that if ds1 had been a girl there's no way we'd be having a third child or even considering a fourth as DH has always been happy with 2, no more. So if this is the roundabout way to get my desired big family, I'm happy! Mind, I'm not sure I could ever come to terms with never having a DD but HT isn't an option for us. Only time will tell and I love being blessed with the children that we have, I feel so lucky to have them in our lives!
Yes! If i had had a girl first and had found out about swaying i would definitely have swayed to get a boy for number two. If i had had two girls i think it would depend on whether DH wanted a boy enough to go for 3.
Definitely! I always wanted a mixed family. To me it's not about favouring girls over boys, it's just that I haven't got one and if I only had girls, I would be dying for a little boy.
Definitely. If I had girls then my Desired gender would be boy. I always wanted three and to have two boys then a girl. I was a tomboy so know I would have felt sad not having a son. I always strongly wanted to raise both genders too. The way I see it is I am putting so much into being a Mum that at the same time I want to experience the full possible range of Motherhood. I feel like I am missing out on some things not having a daughter so certainly would feel the same if it were vice versa. I hope that doesn't make me sound selfish but I want to get as mush as possible back from being a Mum too because being a Mum is my life and although I may one day have close relationships with my adult sons I can't garentee that they will want to go shopping with me and I can certainly garentee they won't be able to talk about their pregnancies with me! ;)
In saying that though I do not know for sure because my step sons may have been enough, I am enjoying playing soccar with them so much right now. I love being a Mum and my gender desire has toned down alot lately
Yup, absolutely. Much like Atomic, I really wanted my first to be a boy. Really, really. I was thrilled when my gut feeling was right and they told us boy at 13 weeks. Much like people in here obsess about nubs changing, I was very scared his willy would fall off and he would be a girl at 20 weeks.
For me, it was always just about having both experiences. I never really considered that I wouldn't get one of each, since we wanted four. It was only after my gut feeling was wrong with #2 and I realized that I had no guarantee of having a daughter even if I did have four (and around the same time my cousin found out he was expecting his fourth son...from different women, but still).
I actually think my GD would have been worse if I had two daughters first. Not only did I really want a son, but I also wanted brothers. So I would have felt even more pressure to get a boy for #3 (and probably #4 too).
^^me too. I think I would have had terrible GD if I had no boys and I also really wanted brothers my same age, I have a much younger brother but I wanted more of a friend/protector - which I really do have in my adult sons. :)
absolutely! I kept saying during my pregnancy that if this one's not a boy, I'll be terribly disspointed - thankfully, it was. Had he not been a boy, I'd have def. swayed for one
I really really wanted my first to be a boy too (maybe partly because DPs boys were so handsome) and just knew he was for some reason and was super stoalked to get what I wanted.
If there is a lesson to be learned like those who say they were scared to have boys but glad they did to bust the myth of stereotypes then I am scared that my lesson will be I can't always get what I want. What I want is both genders. I know I will be O.K in the end if I don't but it will take alot for me to be able to accept it.
But there are so many people that do get what they want though. It bothers me (I know it shouldn't but...). Like my friend just found out she's having DD2 and she said as her status, God is so good, he blessed us with another girl! And she said later that she wouldn't know what to do with a boy...same thing you do with a girl LOL. Love him and take care of him?! Ugh.Quote:
Originally Posted by 1+2+3boys
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sbowman I also get really bothered when people just straight up get what they want like my husbands aunt she only wanted girls 3 of them to be exact and what did she get only girls I always wonder how people like that can get what they want and not be stuck with 3 boys instead I always knew I wanted both but I honestly don't think if I had to girls instead of two boys my desire would be as strong for a boy as I currently have for a girl I always knew I wanted at least one daughter and I really hope to get her this go around!!
Not me. I always wanted girls, envied sisters, and my DH preferred a DD originally. He would not feel the need for a DS and wants as few children as I will be satisfied with, so no.
I am still taking care of my adult brothers, very close in ge to myself, yet not fully grown up. They mooch dinner off me regularly, call for dating advice, rile up the kids, and seek help with home improvements etc. I think they'd say I'm one heck of a boy mom, but holy cow... After all that I want a pedi partner! Yes, I realize that is a very sexist comment. Here's hoping' my DD is as girly as I am!
If i had girls first, I think Dh would have wanted to try for a boy to carry his name own, but i think he would have been more on board about swaying with number three versuses number 5.
With my first pregnancy I didn't care. I always wanted a girl but loved the idea if just having a healthy baby. I never thought anything about not having both sexes because my parents had boy, girl, boy, girl. After having DS2 I noticed how much having a girl would mean to me. I saw friends with their DD and I felt the twinge of jealousy. I am so grateful for each of my sons because each of them teach me something about myself on a daily bases. I know I can do many things with my sons but there are things that a mother and daughter as well as a father and daughter can share that can't be shared with only boys. I think that if I would have received my little girl as a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th child, I would not have the children that I do have.
I know I will be ok if I had another boy but I think I would still fill a slight pain when walking little girl clothes and toys, as well as prom dresses and wedding dresses.
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