Pregnant, now thinking what have i done :(

Not really sure how to explain my feelings, but anyway..... I am pregnant, just over 5 weeks. I should be happy. We tried for this, now i have my BFP i am feeling so scared and anxious.

I am not sleeping, not hungry and keep crying non stop. I have 2 beautiful children already, DS 8 and DD 6. I am not sure how they are going to react when they find out they have an brother or sister coming. My DS always told me he never wanted me to have another baby he is happy with the way things are. I am so scared how he will react it is making me feel ill. Not to mention my mum. She thinks i have the perfect 'pidgeon pair' why would I have another with the way the world is? I suffered with PND after DS. Always loved him to bits, but didn't realised why i was anxious, unable to sleep or eat. Finally it got diagnosed and i was able to get help and i healed very quickly. I was fine after the birth of DD, as i was so happy to have a daughter.

I really feel i should have just been happy with the 2 children i already have, but something inside me kept thinking of having another. Now i think - what have I done? DH doesn't know i feel this way, and i am not going to tell him.

I pray these feelings with go away. i am so scared i will not be able to bond with this baby, it terrifies me. Whats more, the fact i am hoping for a DD2 makes it ten times worse. What if it is a boy? I should be happy to be pregnant when there are women struggling with fertility.

Please help :(

Honestly, if I were you, I'd call my doctor and ask for advice. He may prescribe something to help. I went through it with DS3 and it was awful....my doctor totally understood and prescribed something right away. It definitely helped and the rest of my pregnancy was uneventful and happy.
Hope you find the comfort and help you need.

I think it's normal to worry about disturbing your existing dynamic. Change is scary. I think there are lots of positives to having 3- your other 2 are older and it won't be hard with a baby given their ages- they may really embrace the experience and turn into great helpers. Give them a chance to be excited before you worry too much about how they will react- they may surprise you. I do remember when I was 10 when my parents took us for a walk and told us about soon to be sibling #4...I wasn't pleased at first. I got over it and of course can't imagine life without that sibling now!

They are kids. Mine say all kinds of crazy silly things- you can't really live and die by what an 8 and 6 year old tell you what they are feeling TODAY. That can change in an instant!!

Congrats!

Change is scary... especially now that you and hubby have this secret. I think that when you do share your news it will become more real and the fun and planning can really begin. When I found out about DD 5 I was scared to even tell my mom... but once it got out it was so much better.

Maybe take a solo trip to babies r us and buy something small for the baby. You can start the bonding and connection there. That helped me get over my gender dissapointment, I'm sure it will help in your case also.

Congrats, wish you a healthy baby!!! Stay positive :) hormones do change our moods a lot, one minute we want to cry then we laugh.....enjoy live and try to be happy!!!

First of all don't worry about what anyone will think of you adding another child to your family. It is your decision and there is no rule saying once you have a boy and a girl you must stop there. Babies are awesome, and it is normal to wonder how another person will fit in with existing family members, but when they come, they just do, and it was like it was always ment to be.

You ladies have all made my spirits brighter - thank you all so much for taking time to reply to me - it means the world to know I am not alone. I am sure that the hormones are going crazy, and i am trying very hard to be positive. I also worry obsessively that the baby will be healthy (as i am nearing 40). I hope these feelings go away, as i want to try and enjoy this pregnancy without so much sadness and worry. x

I think everything you have expressed is normal. I am feeling the exact same way STILL and I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Can't help but keep saying to DH "we should have been more careful".
I'm hoping these feeling will pass once I've seen the bubba on a scan. Just wanted you to know you are not alone in how you feel. :bighug:

I also had a pigeon pair and decided to add #3 (and more...) - I know it's hard but don't worry about what others think.

As for your DC now, they will be enriched for a sibling. My DC love the idea of a new baby each time now. All children say they don't want siblings around sometimes, but they that's normal. Everyone has times they want to be alone or away from family members. There are also many times when they need them. This little DC3 could end up being best friend to your DC1 :). Or to DC2!

My DC3 was my sweetest, easiest baby and still has the most wonderful disposition. Anytime I need help, DC3 is right there, helping me without complaint (DC1 and 2 are horrible complainers lol!). All children are a blessing and help us and their siblings grow.

I struggled a lot with prenatal depression during my last pregnancy and talking to my midwife was incredibly helpful to me. I also made sure to take the time to care for myself because it made a big difference in how well I could care for my family. If you're having a hard time I would def recommend you tell your doctor or midwife about it!

I'd like to add that while I planned my sway and really wanted to get pregnant, I was very sad and regretful from week 5-9. Then it got better, but i felt like I fell into a black hole...nothing made me happy, I didn't want to eat, I was full of worry about not waiting longer (DS2 was only 8 months when we concieved DD), and worried about gender as well. Things did get better around 9 weeks, and I think for more a lot of it was hormonal, but I had to deal with the things I hadn't dealt with before, like the idea of overextending our family, money, what would DS1 think? He wasn't crazy about DS2 at first, but then I realized that children really do adapt. We adapt.

Give it a little time, try not to be too hard on yourself...you will adjust...even if at first it is diffcult going from 2 to 3 (I am due in Sept. so haven't gotten there yet!) your family will figure it out, and your DH will LOVE this new child! My DH was also a little fearful over "what had we done" but now he is geninuely excited to meet the baby and can't stop talking about it.

Hi Auroara - thats exactly how i feel. Like i am in a black hole. Totally regretting it now, and worried to the point of being physically sick. I don't want to eat, and having trouble sleeping too. I am worried now about the future of the family, and what i may have done for my own selfish reasons of 'thinking' i wanted another DD. I am definitely not in a good place right now, and pray i come out of this dark hole. You give me hope Auroara, and wishing you all the best with your new baby xx If you have any ideas on how i can make myself feel better, please share!

stupid hormones! hun i get it. i got my desired gender and i still paniced. i have 5 children and its the start of summer vacation. non stop fighting, bickering. sleepless nights and here i go adding to the chaos??? what was i thinking? but everytime i look at him my heart melts. he's so tiny and perfect and sweet. right now yes the whole baby idea seems like a bad idea but it will get better, maybe not until after you see him but he/she will be worth it all in the end. congrats on your new baby!

Ya know, the past couple days I haven't felt like myself either. I am approaching 7 weeks. After my doc called on Friday to congratulate me on the rising hcg and asked me if I was nauseous at all, that night ironically I started to feel it. Plus with my conception before this one being a loss I am so nervous day after day and feeling like it's taking forever to reach 12 weeks! Then I swayed and had to seduce my hubby and even lie to him to get my third baby. Then day after day when things are tough he loves to bitch about how selfish I was to want a third when we have our hands full with 2 boys as it is. I'm also having food aversions and it's so hot I'm terrified I'm not drinking enough and DS#2 is Bfing still. So I guess I am depressed and I blame the hormones! Ups and Downs are normal. It's interesting though. I was never depressed with my first 2 pregnancies. The worst part is being sick though even though it's not that bad yet *knocks on wood*
I think you should tell your babies that another one is on the way, they might be excited. My boys are! They love to say "Baby sister in your tummy!" :) I hope you feel better soon.

all the same feelings and am on no.5 hun!!!!!....didn't tell DH until i was 12 weeks.....his reaction surprised me.....not overly supportive and over the moon but supportive and kind all the same....i suppose just like you your DH will feel a bit anxious about the change but like my DH said when i told him so you haven't yelled yet....its probably sinking in.....he said....well .....there is obviously that elemnet of excitement there.....:)....3 of my kids delighted one of my kids doesn;t want to know...but who cares.....i am just anxious abut the sex and all these feeling syou have i have about the sex......how will i cope with another boy and not another dd???i am totally not prepared for a boy and i have no idea how i will feel seeing him...but i know one thing for sure....this is only a couple of months then everything will be different....things fall ionto place, feelings change a lot and there is no way you or all your family will feel bad about the new addition....if anything your kids will be over the moon....one of the most exciting things for kids that age is having a sibling on the way they can boast about to all their teachers and friends.....:)....just remember it is your hormones.....what is meantto be is meant to be.......and it is what it is.....stay happy and positive hun.......your are truly blessed to have this baby.....and dh will feel just the same!!!!i can guarantee this....:)

Thanks ladies for your kind words of support and encouragement - everytime someone replies it helps me to feel so much better. To know that there are other ladies with similar feels and worries helps to know that maybe i am not crazy after all! I have told my husband how i feel. He is being very supportive, and thinks i need to give it time to accept. I am worried i will not be able to love another baby as much as i love my DS & DD./ they are the loves of my life - they mean everything to me, and i worry that i wont be able to have enough time left for them.
as you know, i am SO worried how my dear 8 year old son will react. He didnt want any more siblings and cried and cried when my daughter asked for a baby - he loves his 6 year old sister, and thats all he wants - he likes things the way they are!! So that terrifies me, and i am not going to mention anything yet. I look around and everything is perfect - happy little family - that may be no more if i end up with depression. I wanted another DD so desperately, and i know that it is a boy - just a gut feeling. I had 3 attempts in a row, and didn't realise this swayed blue :( I even got out some baby pictures of my DS when he was a baby, just to remember how much i loved him, and maybe i will feel the same about this baby....

lightofmylifexxxy,

thats what i did do when I felt down..I pulled out pics of my babies (esp. DS1, since he was already 4 by then) and remembered fondly how magical it is when you have a snuggly newborn! It just took time for me to get out of the black hole; sometimes the more I berated myself about it, the worst I felt. When I tried to just let go, and not think, that is when I got some relief.

Then around 9 weeks I was OK and could tell my mental state had begun to lift. That was the biggest symptom I had different from my boys was that i was super happy being preg with them, and this preg I was really depressed in the beginning, and this is my long awaited daughter! Maybe it's the hormones are different and my body reacted weirdly to it?

If it makes you feel any better, the other day my 4 year old got mad at the 1 year old and said he wanted to send him back to the baby doctor. He begged me crying and said he wanted to him taken away. While it upset me a little, I know he was only angry that the baby knocked down the blocks he was working on, and that he really does love DS2. Your children, DS1 esp. will adjust and come to love this new baby too, trust me :0

this thread is made for me.....my hubby is being a complete creep right now and i cannot stand the sight of him.. he is so annoying and horrible that we have not been intimate at all since he found out i am glad i told him at 3 months at least i enjoyed having him treat me normally up until then. ....all because i now i wanted this baby and he didn't and like one of the posts says i had to seduce my hubby to get on with it during my week of O. i knew my chances of pg were slim...but it happened and now i am here feeling moody sick and depressed on and off......deep in my heart i am hoping and still believe that this will be the sister for my little DD. i know in my heart that once the baby is here everything will fall into place albeit if it were to be a boy it would take a little more time getting used to but just the same.....
GD really suck!!!!!