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Some of you may know me from a while back on ingender. Im at a loss. I was meant to sway in june bit we decided we were done. I was ok but now we have decided we may try one more time. Im so depressed i dont know what to do the thought of trying brings me to my knees what if its another boy?I dont think i can cope but at 37 its now or never. High tech not an option as i cant take fertililty drugs due to high risk. Gd sucks i just wish i didnot care:-(
Hi I know how you feel. I have three lovely boys but was so desperate for a girl. My heart aches and it's only you guys who know how it feels to suffer GD. I have been bad for the past six years. My youngest is 1. My DH says no to trying again after two failed pink sways. I feel sp sad to think I have no more chances but like you don't think I could bear another boy. It has nearly ruined my marriage my DH says if I want a girl that much i should find someone else to give me one. If I thought it was that easy I might be tempted. I know I cannot ruin by boys lives foru selfish desires. It is so hard as all my boy mum friends have gone on to have a third Dd. I was the only one who didn't. My Sister had both and I feel such a loss. But for the sake of everyone else I have to pretend it isn't important anymore. Sometimes I feel I live a lie but other times I look at my lot and feel do proud and happy. Maybe I will never feel complete.
My oldest son is nine, so technically I've probably had gd for nine years. But it was only bad since my third boy was born, nearly four years ago. We did try HT for the fourth and it was a failure. Now I'm 40 and it's time to move on. Whenever I get a bad wave of gd, I just have to hang on. It's like when you're exercising - just push through that part and it will be over soon.
I torment myself with the thought of having a fourth, but no, we are not going to try. So now I'm dealing with the grief of no more kids, no girl, the end of the dream. So I try to focus on the positives. Having three is so much easier than having four. I have three healthy beautiful boys. No more diapers! We (mostly!) sleep through the night. Going out to dinner is so much easier. Two in school full time, so I can enjoy my little preschooler. Or I think of my neighbor with two healthy boys, and a girl with downs. Sometimes I just need a little distance, perspective. I don't think I'll ever be truly over it or that most people will even understand. But I want to feel better, too, and so I'm working hard to move on.
OMG, i read your posts and i could have written them myself.
Sometimes its nice to know we are not alone in these feelings.
My GD has been going on for 9yrs now too after my 3rd boy as well! I know it sucks! I've been trying to be hopeful with each new pregnancy but all i hear is it's a boy! I love my 6boys with all my heart but shouldn't it be my time to jump for joy. I pray you get your girl! (hugs)
Soverysad - have you thought about adoption? A few ladies I know here in Spain have adopted fabulous little girls from China who have made their lives complete. There is a ridiculous amount of red tape but the families are soooooo happy now.
GD sucks indeed! Sometimes I feel like getting a T-shirt made with "si quiero una hija" (yes I do want a daughter) on it just to shut people up!!!
GD does suck. I'm pregnant at 44 with my fourth boy! My oldest is 24 so I've had GD longer than I care to think about. I've decided to try one more time and I'm saving some money for egg donation. I know how sad it can make you feel. You're not alone.
What about a natural cycle with IUI and a sperm sort??? Might be worth a try and will increase your chances of desired gender ALOT!!
Thanks girls it helps so much to know you all understand. I wish i could o iui with sperm sort but in the UK its not legal. Well im on diet still undecided. I have talked about adoption but its a nogo for my husband. Who knows i do jave way more good than bad. Just hope my friend jas a boy or i know ill be back to square one. Hugs to you all xxxjQuote:
Originally Posted by soverysad
Hope you feel better soon. Im also very nervous about my birth in 2 weeks. I have no idea what the gender is and I already have four boys.
You are not alone! I have 2 boys and all I can think about is how I would feel if and when I end up w. another boy! it's like Im just waiting to hear..another boy! I will be devasted I will never feel complete and will suffer GD for the rest of eternity~ ! just yesterday I was telling Dh about how I felt and he got really annoyed w. me! he told me that I need to grow up and stop being so selfish. that I should be grateful I have 2 healthy, loving boys.
You see, I haven't been too involved w. my boys lateley. I want that baby girl so badly that I get annoyed w. my boys and wish I could go back in time and had known about swaying then..I know i'm such a horrible mom!...I'm such a mess right now! I am harrassing atomic w. stupid questions. I am changing my mind between HT, taking clomid, vitex etc...just b.c I reallllly want to increase my chances of getting a girl. and when I hear that someone took clomid or vitex and endup w. a boy I get soo sad and think same will happen to me!..I have been on site for 11 months and been on the diet ..lost all the weight I could, but backed out couple of months b/c I was afraid I would get another boy!:( I know, really sad!
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Originally Posted by Wishing4Princess
Totally understand where you are coming from here. I did the same thing/felt the same way while swaying. If I had a piece of advice right now though (being pregnant with boy #3 after failed sway), if you *really* want that girl, and can afford it, and really don't want more than 3 kids....go for the HT now. At least it is a guarantee. I wish we had done HT for this one. I guess I just thought if I changed things enough, we would just get our girl. Wrong :(
I had over 20 years of GD, after my first daughter died. It took us a long time to have Baby Crystal (she's 8 months old now), but so worth it.
Never give up :wink:
CrystalTipps - Do you mind if I ask you a bit more about how/why you came to decide on DE? I have lots of questions - as you can see from my sig/posts I think I am heading towards DE. (giving up is not an option for me!)
I would so appreciate more info from you if it's ok?
Thank you
What do you mean by "high risk" in regards to HT? Are you talking about multiples? You can only put back one embryo to eliminate that risk. We have lots of women travel to the US from the UK for IVF.