She is here.

My failed sway arrived at Sept. 1st. She is an average newborn, so no need for pics. I've had an unmedicated birth which was a pure torture as expected.

I feel really down, guilty, ashamed, confused...

I understand your feelings and at the same time i'm jealous! I would love to have her! so unfair isn't it?
Well......try to enjoy this baby time, this time will never come back!

Congratulations on the birth of your little girl. Im sorry you are feeling so down :sad: is there a professional you could talk to? Look after yourself and remember you always have friends who will listen and won't judge on here.

Congrats on ur little girl. Give urself some time to bond with her. I hope u feel better soon. Well done on the unmediated birth! X

Congratulation on the healthy arrival :)
What is her name? We'd love some pics if your up for it, all newborns are co cute!

So sorry you are feeling down, it would be good if you could speak to a professional to help you through your struggle, hopefully it will help you heal and focus on the little newborn - they grow up so fast!

Wishing you all the best and hope that you can find some joy soon :flowerz:

Oh ZB I am so sad to be reading that you are unhappy:( I for one am completetly excited at the birth of your I'm 1,000,000% sure exceptionally goorgeous little girl, so for now I'll be over excited for you ok:hug2: I would love to see a pic or 5:) and I want weight and time of birth, name, eye color and every other precious detail OK!!!

I wish I was near by to give you a real cuddle and shoulder to cry on xxx For what its worth I never fell in love with my 2nd child until they were 6 months old, but I did everything I was supposed to do and we turned out just fine:) All my love Charlotte xxx

Wonderful news on the safe arrival of your little one. So sorry you're feeling down - but the worst part is how guilty you feel. Don't feel guilty, you don't need to. There's a lot going on within you at the moment, not to mention all the rushing post birth hormones. Give yourself time to grieve, dont expect miracles, and like the others said you always have the forums to vent to. You'll love her, you'll bond with her, it will just take some time, and maybe an extra prayer or two. Hugs xoxoxo :HH:

I'm delighted to hear your precious daughter arrived safely ZB. I really hope she will find that special place in your heart very soon.

Oh, ZB. Your post is heartbreaking.

I have been where you are and it was hard. My DD was super cute and an angel but what I didn't know is she would turn out to be "below average". I would learn to find out that she will struggle at times and I learned how awesome average is. I so wish for average. Average is awesome.

Your feelings are valid and understandable. I get it. At some point though, your average baby girl might turn out to be the light of your life like my below average DD is.

Average is awesome.

Congrats on your baby girl xxx So sorry you're feeling down-I can understand totally how you feel. But I hate to say that I'm jealous of you as I would love to have that little girl. Don't feel guilty about how you're feeling now-you just need time and to work through your feelings. It's important that you allow yourself to feel how you feel and remember there's no right or wrong way to feel. Bonding is not always instant like you see on the TV. Hormones are crazy things! You won't always feel the way you feel right now. If there's someone you can talk to that might help you. I'm sure you will fall in love with your little princess very soon :HH:

I just want reach into my computer and give you the biggest hug ever! I know exactly how you feel - you sound a lot like myself after I had Ds2. Those were some dark days. Lots of mums don't bond with their baby straight away, so you are definitely not alone.
The disconnected feeling you have at the moment may be because of baby blues, PPD and lingering GD all mixed up together.

Don't feel bad about yourself - you have 3 beautiful, amazing girls! I wish I was in your shoes. And I bet she isn't an average newborn (no baby of your could be :kissy:)!

Congratulations and at the same time big hugs..... Take time to heal, emotionally and physically. I don't want to say to you try to enjoy because when people told me to enojoy (I had a crybaby) I couldn't and I felt even more guilty. But in the end you will see you will bond with her and she will be an amazing little girl, I know it for sure. Hugs.

Hugs to you ZB. I know it does not feel awesome at the moment, but that is understandable. You have been through the process of giving birth, which is never easy and on top of that you have raging hormones and the very normal and human feelings of gender disappointment to contend with. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to recover from the birth and bond with your little girl. I really hope she becomes a ray of sunshine in your life. Thinking of you X

I'm so sorry you're down, ZB. I just know your little girl is going to grow up to be an amazing woman like her Mom :HH: Please share more details like name, weight and what she looks like when you feel ready - we'd all love to know. In the meantime take care of yourself and take any help you're offered.

ZB Congratulations on the safe arrival of your baby. I get that you are feeling hurt right now but you know that it's only for now and you will fall in love with her like your other two. Nuthinbutpink said it too well and she will become the light of your life (I was very moved reading that because its so true for me) for what it's worth I felt that way with Ds2 and until this day it eats me away and regret that I felt that way because he really is that extra special...and I get that anything we say will not help you right now but I had to let you know how I felt. We are all here if you want to chat and like all of us supporting you we want to see pics because I'm sure she'll be adorabubble and want to know her name and how her big sisters are with her, I bet they are in love with her Xx

I am sorry you are feeling down hun, I hope it gets better. We are always here to listen

Congratulations Z!! I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace of mind.

It took me awhile before I fell in love with DS 3 as well. When they brought him to me I felt like he wasn't even my baby but my husband assures me he was watching the whole time and no one switched him. ;)

We still need pics!!

Congratulations on your little one, and please try not to be so hard on yourself. This post partum time is always so hard. Give yourself some time and I'm sure you will soon fall head-over-heels in love!

I was thinking about you yesterday. I'm so sorry you're sad. Please know that you're in my heart. I hope you can take some joy in your new little one! Squeeze her little booty cheeks; baby's bottoms are impossible to resist!

:tissue: This made me cry, I am scared to death this is how I will feel if I have another boy!

:hug2: Hugs for obvious reasons, hope in time you can move past this. Like another said, is there someone you can talk to??

Oh ZB, I know how you feel. It took me a LONG time to bond with DD2. I wasn't happy she was here for months. I know things will get better for you, but it will take a while. Try not to be hard on yourself.... GD, PPD, all of it isn't your fault. I have a month to go, and I will probably be right where you are now. Please stay in touch with all of us here so we can help you through the rough times. :hug:

I am so sorry you are feeling this way...I hope you are able to find peace somehow...

Congratulations on your new baby girl!!
I hope you find peace soon, too.

Thinking of you & your family...♥

Oh ZB I have tears in my eyes reading the pain in the words of your post.

I want to give you a huge hug ! I'm sure your baby girl is beautiful and as the other ladies have said, in time I'm sure she will hold a very special place in your heart. We're all here to listen, please remember that.

Big kiss for you and your precious baby xx

Oh ZB, I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I'm crap at finding the right words but my heart hurts for you reading your update and I wish I could give you a massive cuddle and help you in a practical way. Take care of yourself and take whatever time and help you need - and congratulations, I'd love to see a photo or 5 and hear some more details too!

Guys thank you million times for your kind words of understanding!!!!!! :HH: I wish you could all come here!
Your understanding is precious to me!

I still can't deal with the fact I've had 3rd daughter, but I have to say she looks more and more cute every day. I'm sure I'll bond with her, until then (like someone here said it ) I'll fake it til I make it.

She was 4350g ( 9lb 9oz) and 53cm (20inches) at birth, so my biggest baby so far. She looks like her big sister DD2, or in other words like her daddy. DH seems to be genuinely happy he is daddy again and when I try to speak about my....ummm let's say big expectations she was going to be a boy, he always stops me and tell it's a blasphemy to be ungrateful for a healthy baby God meant for us.
He is right, I know it , I just have to accept it on emotional level.

Sorry for rambling.

THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN!!!!!! :bighug: You are in my heart and prayers.:HH:

P.S. I'll stick around, this is the best and friendliest place to be + I have to plan my next sway.
Good news is I'm not crying anymore which probably means hormones are settling in :wink:

I'll post her pics one of these days :)

You sound better, ZB. I'm happy to read that. It gets better. Promise. I'm not one to make false promises or blow sunshine anyone's way. It will get better.

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that you sound much happier! It will take some time, of course, but we'll be here for you always.:kissy:

(((hugs))) ZB, I'm sorry it's so rough right now. Remember that your little one, despite looking just like a newborn now, is wonderfully unique. She'll be special in her own way, with her own little personality. It was so hard to have a girl when I really wanted a boy, but I'm so thankful for Honor every day. She's the light of my life and brings joy to every day (even when she's cranky!!) It may take time to fall in love at first, but you'll see more and more of the awesome person that she is, and everything she has to offer as part of the family and in her own future <3

Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl.

Thinking of you xx I hope you start to feel better about things soon.

Hey zivic, feel bad that i haven't posted sooner. Huge congrats on your baby girl (oh what i would give!). I hope everyday is bringing you a little closer to her... i know that i wasnt overly impressed with ds2 at first (gd) but then it hit me like a lightening bolt after a week or so and i wouldn't let anyone else near him for a couple of days. I wander how i will feel when ds3 arrives in a few weeks! Im sure she will become the light of your life at some point but there is no rush and no pressure to feel that straight away. I loved that comment about faking it! Saw your other thread about how long hospitals keep mothers in... back on the good old days in the uk, mothers were given bed rest for 2 weeks ... oh how nice would that be!!

ZB your baby is a good size I can't wait to see pics of a wee newborn.
I'm glad your getting use to her, it's a slow process but yes you'll fake it until you make it and you will have your turn to shine;) thinking of you xo

Hey, this is my first time reading this one, and wow. In your posts, you don't come across at all as someone shaped by what others think. And you also said that in your culture, having multiple daughters is seen as being a failure. It's not. If anything it sounds like a good opportunity to raise headstrong, radiant women to help the next generation.

Good luck, I know soon you'll say you wouldn't trade what you have for anything else. :-)

Very cute . Little angel. She will probably be the one that holds your hand the most in old age. I wish you peace soon.

She's adorable making me so clucky

Attachment 4570

:HH: Z, she is Beautiful, and so is her Name!!!!! :HH:

Good looking family too! Thanks for sharing her with us!

you're family is gorgeous, and I love her name and that hair!! well done Z

Awesome family! I love her name and that close up is a great photo.

ZB, she is absoltuely beautiful!!! Your Dh looks so proud and your DD's are over the moon:) I bet she's growing on you daily isn't she:bigsmile:

And I have to add, 9lb 9!! What a fantastic weight! Were your others good weights also???