Limited time, what's my best approach?

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September 18th, 2012, 08:40 AM
LacePrincess

Limited time, what's my best approach?

Hi ladies!

I just found this site a few weeks ago, and I'm sort of drowning in too much information :eek:, but first I wanted to thank AS and the mods for creating such a informative site. Even if I'm mostly confused and unsure after information overload at this point! LOL

Quick background: DH and I are both 33 this year. We already have 3 sons, currently 8, 6, and 2.5. The youngest is still breastfeeding - not at infant levels, obviously, but not infrequently either. I'm a SAHM so he nurses whenever he wants, which is pretty much multiple times at night (we're cosleeping still) and at least 3-5 times during the day. Which seems a lot to me for his age! :suprise:

We did sort-of do the Shettles timing method with our sons, mostly just cut-off, but we were just NOT getting pregnant at all. So we gave up and just BD'ed frequently through O. Our eldest DS took 2 months using the CBFM, the second ended up taking a LONG time - almost 18 months!!!! - and was conceived BD'ing through O, and DS3 took 4 months also BD'ing through O. So I guess we're really not that fertile? :worry: Anyways, DS2 and DS3 were both conceived BD'ing frequently through the day before O....curiously enough, both times we BD'ed the day before O and not O day itself.

This final bub will likely be our last, as DH and I are agreed that we don't want to be pregnant past 35. And, that we didn't want any more kids than we have hands to hold onto them with! :p So we have one serious 'try' for our girl left! So I kind of want to have a good attempt and if it's DS4, that's fine and we'll know we at least stuck with it and didn't give in to my biological clock and 'gave in' like we did the last few times.

We do have some challenges though. DH is military, and it sounds like as of next summer (Aug, 2013) we can expect him to be posted away from the family for a period of 2-3 years. Which means, realistically, if we're gonna do this we have about 10 cycles to do this in. And seeing as how it took awhile with our other kids even with going whole-hog, I think this would rule out anything that really drops our chances, like using spermicides or extreme cutoffs or O+12. So now I'm looking at diet and abstaining, since we definitely were FR'ing with our other conceptions.

The other big challenge is the diet. I'm much thinner and much more in shape than I was when I got preggo with my DS's. Since the birth of DS3 I've become a serious runner and exerciser, but I favour cardio by far over any strength training. Which is good for pink! But now I'm wrestling with how far to take the diet - I really can't drop much weight, as it is my bodyfat is so low I'm on the cusp of affecting my ovulation (my periods are already a bit irregular). I'm 5'0", 109lbs, and 12-16% bodyfat. So, I can't afford to lose much more!

I intend to go for the extreme-cardio pink sway, with a sensible diet, but I've got to be careful not to drop it too low. With my sons I definitely was eating high-sodium, high-protein (red meat) and lots of dairy, so I thought I'd switch to (mostly) veg and less milk and salt. I'm not going to hypermanage everything because face it, with 3 young kids it's just not possible and it's too stressful! I'm not planning on taking any supplements except folic acid and maybe B6 if my luteal phases are too short again (last cycle they were borderline, 8-11 days). I was going to keep my calories at 1800 because of the bf'ing and workouts, and also eating 'back' calories if I do a heavy workout/long run so I don't drop too much weight. I've also green-lighted DH to mainline coffee, which he's happy about! LOL I am skipping breakfast (just a cup of coffee) though yesterday I couldn't stand it by 10am and had to have a small yogurt as a snack.

So I guess my question is for all you more experienced ladies, does this sound like a sensible approach? How long should I do this diet before TTC (I just started this cycle, so it's been a few days)? I want to make sure the diet's right but also feel like we just don't have much time. Also, if I want to workout in the morning, is it a mistake to have a small snack right before the workout, or should I try to exercise only after lunch or in the afternoons?

I must say, though, that we won't be crushed if we get another DS.....our 3 already disprove so many gender cliches. Our first is introspective, quiet, hates most sports and likes to read, and our second is going to dance class tonight that he begged for for years. So it just goes to show, you really never know!

ETA: Forgot to mention that DH and I briefly discussed HT methods (specifically PGD) but we're in Canada, so it's illegal to use PGD for gender selection here. We could afford it for maybe 1-2 tries but the legal and travel loopholes, combined with DH's military career and separations just makes it logically impossible. Unless we got posted to the US! (hah, I wish!)
September 18th, 2012, 10:07 AM
jennaesue

Hi and welcome! I also have three boys, mine are 8, 5, and 22 months. Mine are also not very boyish boys. They love reading and stuffed animals and are not the least interested in sports or action figures at this point. :)

I think your plan sounds good. Also, the fact that you have already lost weight and changed your diet since conceiving your boys works in your favor, I think. If I were you, I would not worry about timing or using any lubes/rephresh, etc. I might add in Vitex and a fiber supplement. I would concentrate on skipping breakfast and not snacking, and would give up meat as much as you can. Good luck!
September 18th, 2012, 10:59 AM
LacePrincess

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennaesue

Hi and welcome! I also have three boys, mine are 8, 5, and 22 months. Mine are also not very boyish boys. They love reading and stuffed animals and are not the least interested in sports or action figures at this point. :)

I think your plan sounds good. Also, the fact that you have already lost weight and changed your diet since conceiving your boys works in your favor, I think. If I were you, I would not worry about timing or using any lubes/rephresh, etc. I might add in Vitex and a fiber supplement. I would concentrate on skipping breakfast and not snacking, and would give up meat as much as you can. Good luck!

Thanks, Jenna!

Is a fiber supp really necessary if I'm still regular? I thought it was just there because of the higher refined carbs having a constipating effect, but do fiber supps sway pink?? I have Metamucil on hand, is that ok?

I've read about the Vitex but I thought that was a huge no-no for breastfeeding?

I told DH the other day that just watch, we'll get our girl and she'll hate pink and be the biggest tom-boy ever. LMAO. My boys are hyper but no more than any other kid their age, and they still like boy things like Transformers (ugh), Hot Wheels, and Lego (but I love Lego too!). My eldest is Mr. Prebubescent Drama (you should hear him SIGH) and the middle kid is cheeky as all heck. He loves dancing and wanted to wear dresses when he was a toddler - freaked the hell outta my mom!

My youngest is more typical boy, but he's also very much a Mama's Boy, and I wouldn't trade him for all the girls in the world. So really, I wouldn't be gutted at all if we had another boy, it's mostly the comments from friends/family that hurt.
September 18th, 2012, 01:03 PM
jennaesue

Quote:

Originally Posted by LacePrincess

Thanks, Jenna!

Is a fiber supp really necessary if I'm still regular? I thought it was just there because of the higher refined carbs having a constipating effect, but do fiber supps sway pink?? I have Metamucil on hand, is that ok?

I've read about the Vitex but I thought that was a huge no-no for breastfeeding?

Vitex is okay while BFing. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...stfeeding.html

The fiber supplement also helps remove nutrients from your body.
September 18th, 2012, 01:35 PM
LacePrincess

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennaesue

Vitex is okay while BFing. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...stfeeding.html

The fiber supplement also helps remove nutrients from your body.

Thanks for the link, Jenna! Gosh there's so much to read. :worry:

Ok I'm just gonna think of this sway-diet as a short term cleanse. Because omg, there's something that just seems so wrong about the above bolded, LMAO!!!

Guess I'll work in some metamucil too. I'm so sloshy these days with all the recc'ed drinks (diet non-caff cola, Crystal Light, peppermint tea).....and maybe it's getting rid of the salt, but good Lord have I been peeing a lot!
September 18th, 2012, 02:13 PM
jennaesue

You might actually want to double check the peppermint tea while bfing....I think one time a day is okay, but I'm not sure. Saw Palmetto is definitely a no-no while bfing.

I know what you mean about all the information. I have been researching this on and off for a year!

I know trying to rid your body of nutrients sounds horrible, but the main premise of this is to trick your body into thinking you are in a famine, so well, there you go. But really, I have been doing this for 3 weeks now and I am feeling fine. :)

ETA: here's the info about peppermint tea: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...depth-how.html
September 18th, 2012, 02:32 PM
LacePrincess

Thanks, Jenna! I didn't know peppermint tea could be iffy, but Alex is getting closer to 3 now so I'm not that worried. I can't manage to squeeze in more than a mug or two anyways, so I'm sure it's fine, LOL. I'm more concerned about losing too much weight and stopping ovulation altogether!

I've looked back on my old FF notes, and with the last two boys we were doing CalMag, EPO, and B6. So I am most definitely avoiding all of that! I'm also trying to emulate what my mom ate (she had two girls). For one, she's lactose intolerant and doesn't drink milk, but can eat cheese/yogurt/icecream in limited quantities. Also we are Chinese so there's also a tonne of white rice and veg in the cuisine, so I'm going with that too. And very little meat! (But a lot of soy and sodium, and I'm not quite sure what to do with that).

But looks like cutting out red meat, dropping proteins, and minimizing dairy is the way to go. I'm still confused whether it's ok to abstain for 10+ days if you're younger than 35 and otherwise healthy? If we wanted to have a try this month and abstained, it would make it definitely more than 10 and maybe more than 14 days abstaining before we could BD. Have you read if that is very risky regarding sperm health in healthy men under 35? Most certainly we don't want to risk any birth defects, but I don't want to miss this month, either!
September 18th, 2012, 04:14 PM
jennaesue

Atomic isn't too worried about sodium. I don't know about soy. I was a vegetarian when I conceived ds1 and ds2, and I ate a lot of soy in the form of meat-replacement type products.

I am trying to cut down on sodium, but I am mainly focusing on not snacking, keeping calories at 1500 and under, and cutting down on fat & protein.

I really don't know anything about abstaining. My dh is not on board with swaying, so I can't do anything that requires his cooperation. We are just dtd as usual.
September 23rd, 2012, 11:12 AM
atomic sagebrush

It is a lot but I promise, the info on this site makes sense and hangs together both logically and in terms of human biology. If it contradicts with things you read on another site, ask. If something doesn't make sense, ask. Everything has an explanation and reasoning behind it.

Re time to conception - I don't ever want anyone to go longer than 6 months without conceiving. That's my personal goal and while there are some people who have gone longer than that, my focus is to have the best and safest sway possible while still getting pregnant quickly.

I agree weight loss is not the way to go for you, I'd go vegetarian and increase carbs, then just hold steady where you are, even if it means eating more cals than the average person. Going till 10 am is fine - there's no magic to skipping breakfast, all you're trying to do is extend the amount of time you have no food coming in so your body needs to use its own resources as fuel.

I think that's absolutely a sensible approach and I think I've answered most of your other q's in different threads - let me know if anything is still sticking out as unanswered.
September 23rd, 2012, 11:18 AM
atomic sagebrush

Quote:

Originally Posted by LacePrincess

Thanks for the link, Jenna! Gosh there's so much to read. :worry:

Ok I'm just gonna think of this sway-diet as a short term cleanse. Because omg, there's something that just seems so wrong about the above bolded, LMAO!!!

Guess I'll work in some metamucil too. I'm so sloshy these days with all the recc'ed drinks (diet non-caff cola, Crystal Light, peppermint tea).....and maybe it's getting rid of the salt, but good Lord have I been peeing a lot!

I know, I'm terribly long-winded but when I was back on IG everyone always wanted to know the whys of everythign so I thought I'd include them from the get go!! :)

Fiber doesn't remove ALL nutrients, just fats and cholesterol that your body uses to make into testosterone, and fat-soluble vitamins like A and D that raise testosterone. We're trying to lower testosterone, and possibly estrogen as well altho we're less sure whether estrogen sways, by doing that.

Most people have plenty of stored body fat to make up for it, but as thin as you are, you may not want to add the fiber in. You may need the fat in your diet to keep ovulating and keep that luteal phase adequate.
September 23rd, 2012, 11:24 AM
atomic sagebrush

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennaesue

You might actually want to double check the peppermint tea while bfing....I think one time a day is okay, but I'm not sure. Saw Palmetto is definitely a no-no while bfing.

I know what you mean about all the information. I have been researching this on and off for a year!

I know trying to rid your body of nutrients sounds horrible, but the main premise of this is to trick your body into thinking you are in a famine, so well, there you go. But really, I have been doing this for 3 weeks now and I am feeling fine. :)

ETA: here's the info about peppermint tea: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...depth-how.html

Also, everyone needs to remember that for most of human existence we didn't have anywhere near the amount of quality nutrients that we have now. IF anything we are presently overnourished, not undernourished.
September 23rd, 2012, 11:42 AM
atomic sagebrush

The older and larger your baby is, the more leeway you have when BF. Vitex and pep tea I believe to be ok for an older baby and certainly for a toddler. I am wary of saw palmetto and aspirin/cran even for older babies and would prefer you guys gave those a pass.

Soy is a great unknown for swaying and you can read about it here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...-girl-boy.html

Sodium, I personally believe does not sway blue and may even sway pink in very high doses. People have been eating a ghastly amount of sodium since prehistoric times. Since it's good for health and conception to cut back on it, and easy enough to do, I keep the sodium restriction in the LE Diet. However, I did not follow the sodium restriction and got a girl after cutting back on sodium and getting DS 4.

Abstain is not ~very~ risky for anyone regardless of age. Even things that are 100% proven to cause serious issues like thalidomide and Retin A only cause issues for babies like 20% of the time. I just want people to be aware that the potential exists so they make a fully informed decision. It is a fact that abstain will really cut down odds of conception and the longer you abstain, the worse it can be.