What are your dreams for parenting a boy? What are your reasons for wanting a son? Thanks for answering!
Printable View
What are your dreams for parenting a boy? What are your reasons for wanting a son? Thanks for answering!
My DP has gender desire, i am trying to help him.
really difficult to answer every mother want kids of both genders so that she can experience both the worlds i think nothing particular reason behind wanting a boy some people think boy can continue their family name but now a days i don't think all the people thinking so because girls also give recognition to their family everybody having their reasons but i think having both genders of kids is dream of most of the ladies
It is hard to put into words why I always wanted a boy. I wanted that mother/son relationship. I remember seeing a teenage boy hugging his mom and joking with her and I just thought that was so special. I always saw myself cheering my boy on with sports and being so proud of them. I always wanted that boy to be a helper to the family and to be responsible and ultimately to be like DH and a great father and husband.
Mine was fairly simple.
I always wanted a mixed family. Never more than two children (funnily enough, now my dreams is two girls so theres perfect balance!)! Preferably I wanted a boy first, then a girl. Then he could protect his sister! But I had a girl first, who passed away, and because she had a chromosomal abnormality that only affects girls I desperately wanted a boy second time.
I didn't sway, consciously (turned out I did a perfect boy sway), and got preggers on the pill. I cried my eyes out when I heard "it's a boy!" and I can't remember feeling happier then when they gave me him. First time I really smiled and laughed since our DD passed away..
My hopes for my boys.. well.. To be frank, I want them to be just like their dad, only a bit more in touch with their emotions. To me he is as close to perfection in a man as I think I'm going to get! I am so proud of him for being the way he is - and I so dearly hope my sons will grow up the same, although it would probably be a good thing if they got a bit more of my sensitivity and communication skills ;)
I always wanted a boy because my DH and my dad are two of my favorite people in the world. I wanted to have a boy just like them.
Thanks for answering! The reason why I want to know is that I, like many women here, want a girl. I love seeing women desperately wanting boys too. It helps for me to read, so I can feel ok about having only sons.
Keep them coming :)
I had major gender disappointment with DS3, but nowhere to go with those those feelings so I didn't tell anyone about how much it hurt. Once DS3 made it safely through his nicu stay and came home, I felt very lucky to have him and figured we'd try for a girl one day. When we were ready to ttc, I found IG and was delighted to try gender swaying. DH was very against the diet though and said if I don't eat 'healthier' he's not going to ttc. So I ditched the diet but tried the other non food swaying; supplements, negative ions, ect. Months of no bfp and then we took a break, I got a fertility work up just to be sure and had DH get it too. We spent all the savings I had tucked away for a midwife to find out DH had secondary infertility. Long story short; ivf w/ icsi, sperm donation for iui or look into adoption. After a long discussion, we decided on a sperm donor. Within 4 cycles, we had a bfp. Along the way, came the realization that gender wasn't as important as it had been, I wanted whoever was up there waiting for us. We were blessed with a beautiful little boy but sadly was lost to an incompetent cervix.
DH and I ended up with a very surprise pregnancy just as we were preparing for our son's memorial. I'm hoping for another boy, I'm proud of being an all boy mom. :) I do wonder what a little girl would be like in our family but I guess we may never know. DH says we could save up for ivf but I really don't want to. If there is any possibility at all that having a weak cervix is genetic, I do NOT want to pass this on to any little girl of mine.
My hopes for each of them is to be like their Dad, in touch with their feelings, romantic, strong work ethics and continue to love and take pride in their education. The older two love helping out others, constantly volunteer to assist their teachers, my youngest is a delight in class. It's awesome to see little girls in his class fuss all over him lol. I feel truly lucky to be their mom. :heart:
My whole life, all I ever wanted was a son. I never even really wanted more than one child, unless our first was a daughter. I am a daddy's girl, like most girls, and have never really had a close connection with my mom. I wanted a "Mommy's boy," a boy that would always love me more than anything else in this world, even his wife! I see how close my DH is to his mom, and it makes me cry all the time.
I've never been a "girly-girl," and when I found out my first was a girl I was devastated. I don't like pink and don't know how to do a little girl's hair, and even to this day my almost-2-year old girl cries when I brush her hair or try to put her in a dress. She doesn't like any of the traditional girl stuff.
I always wanted my "little man," so sweet in those ways that only little boys are, that I could watch grow up into a gentleman and turn out like his father. My husband is the last male in his family since his brother passed away at 20, and we always dreamed of a son we could honor his fallen brother with by giving him his name. Now I am pregnant with #2 and just found out a few weeks ago that it is another girl. I'm 38, and this is almost definitely our last baby (for physical and financial reasons.) Now all my lifelong hopes and dreams for a son are dead, and I can't seem to get over it.
I feel guilty posting in these forums where so many women so desperately want a little girl and all I've ever wanted was a little boy, but this is the only place I feel I can come and anyone could understand what I am going through. I can't even look at little boys without crying, and I am so sad and jealous any time I hear another friend is pregnant with a boy. If it is more likely to conceive a boy than a girl, why did I fail twice?
sbmommy - Don't feel bad for posting about your GD and for wanting a son. Your reasons for wanting a boy is just as legit as for women wanting a girl, we all understand. For me, who wants a girl, I don't get hurt that you want a boy. It's good to hear that other people want what I've got, IYKWIM. I totally understand your heartache, it's the same for everyone with GD. Your dream is shattered, and we all have different dreams. I hope you get a son one day, and that your daughters will give you some of what you dreamed of. Personally, my sons have given me most of what I dreamed of in a family, even though my original dreams included daughters. Hugs to you mama, we all understand!
I always envisioned having 2 sons for myself because it was in my horroscope :)
However, I wished and prayed for a pigeon pair because I wanted to experience raising them both. In one of the earlier post, I have mentioned that I wanted a boy/girl pair because they enrich and balance one's life with contrastingly different things. I myself grew up with 2 elder brothers and, I liked it better than my friends, who had one or more sisters with them. I am afraid to disclose but I really like the carefree attitude of boys, they don't fuss too much over anything whereas I have seen lot of bitching, jealousy n tantrums with girls (Plz don't judge me for my observation, it could be that I have seen more good boys but not so good girls). Right now too, here I am all dissappointed with my second girl, wheras my husband is out of it. He also wished and prayed for a boy but he's just fine with our second daughter, wheras I am still taking help from forums/articles and obsessing with what went wrong with my sway.
I am also not girly-girl type, I hate to put make-ups and getting ready for a party is the most undesirable thing. I hate the competition among women about jewelery n who is wearing what. I am actually surprised at myself that, I do dress my little daughter very well for any party and, have received lot of compliments....but I do it just for her as she really likes different hairstyles n looking pretty. However, everytime while getting my daughter ready for parties, I do think that, if i had a son It would have been so easy n fast...I would have just put him in a jeans n nice shirt ...that's it. I also don't think that the little boys clothes are not cute..the other day, when i went for shopping, I cried knowing that I won't ever be able to buy anything from boys section.
All in all, I guess I have seen my brothers and husband as very good caring, intelligent males and, I vision the same thing for any boys. I do hear stories about boys getting in to wrong things like drugs etc. in teens but have not witnessed any by myself. On the other side, I have seen crazy behaviours of my cousin sisters in their teens and, so I see lot of problems with girls than boys. I guess everybody is colored by their own experiences n there is no right or wrong.
I wanted a boy because I had a girl and I wanted one of each...but I think mostly everyone wants at least one of each (and I know there are many exceptions). There are TONS of boy mamas on here who all wanted their boys, but also wanted a girl...
So I can give a brother to my son....brotherly bond is so so precious! Everyone should experience it :)
-OH wants a son.
-There are excellent male role models in the family, I would love it if he were anything like them.
-Family balancing. I have a daughter already, and I come from a family of girls and have a tonne of aunts and female cousins and just two uncles and hardly any male cousins, so it would be interesting to have a boy. A new experience for me.
Never feel guilty for your feelings or for posting here, we are here just as much to support you as we are any mom with GD. The gender of the child you crave is insignificant, the pain is still the same and you need support just as much as the rest of us. I desperately want a daughter but i could not imagine my life without my son, i really do think that special mother son bond is a joy all moms should get to experience and i really hope you get your little boy - in the mean time if you want to chat please do, it does really help to share xQuote:
Originally Posted by sbmommy
I always just wanted a boy. I wanted one of each. My dream family consisted of four kids...at least one girl and at least two boys. Not much room for wiggle room, huh? Lol.
I guess having two brothers growing up made me see all the cool stuff about boys and, more so, about brothers. Having a boy meant sweet cuddles, adorable little dress shirts, fun toys (totally a personal thing, but I think boy toys are way cooler than girl toys...I hate dolls and princess stuff), and lots of dirt. It meant having "protectors," as most boys will go to bat for their moms in a heartbeat. It meant quirky senses of humor, car parts, and man-smelling soap. I still love visiting my parents house and smelling "man" soap from my brothers (who still live at home).
I just thought a boy would be fun. And now that I have gotten two of the three desired children...I would like to experience the joys I associate with girls. My reasons are pretty basic...I always pictured my family a certain way and it's hard to repicture it. Since I am pregnant with my third and have no idea what it is, it's still possible I will get the family I envisioned for myself. But it's also possible I won't, so I have to accept that too.
It's complicated. Before I had my children (4 girls) I was afraid of having girls because of my poor relationship with my mom, and because my dad was always unhappy that he had three girls and no sons (I am the oldest). Perhaps I internalized the idea that boys were better. So I longed to be a boy mom to have a completely different family than the one I knew. I had deep GD with the first two that I was unable to share with anyone. I had to have infertility treatment and so knowing so many women who struggled to have any children at all, I was ashamed to seem ungrateful to be lucky enough that the treatments worked without too much difficulty (if you can say that about IVF), whatever the gender.
Now that the girls are growing and becoming their own people, I see that I am not repeating my mom's relationship with me because I am a very different person than she (therapy helps). And I see that they are their own people--strong, inquisitive, joyful--they can't be reduced to gender.
But (and I'm teary-eyed writing this) I still yearn for a son. My dream would be to give my husband his genetic son (he doesn't care about gender) as he is a very good man whose genetic gifts I'd like to see passed on in a boy. DH doesn't want to do donor egg (when he even can speak about #5, which he really doesn't want--another story) though.
But raising a boy not related to us genetically via adoption would be an enormous and precious gift, too. Boys have a special sweetness, don't they? Boys seem uncomplicated and free. Boys have a special path from childhood to adulthood these days and I'd like to help them navigate it. I'd like my girls to have a brother to dote on (wow, would he be doted on!) and roughhouse with (though they don't need any help with that) and be adults together with, men and women.
How to sum up? Maybe I am greedy for life's experiences? Just a huge fan of the tender, rambunctious boys I see in my girls' classes at school? Seeking balance in our drama-heavy household? Whatever the main reason, if there is one, the dream is one that just won't die for me...and I pray it may come true.
Good luck to everyone here.