Just curious if anyone has a midwife and has ever asked them what they thought about gender swaying? and what they thought about it?
Just curious if anyone has a midwife and has ever asked them what they thought about gender swaying? and what they thought about it?
I wish I felt comfortable asking. I'm too afraid of judgement to broach the subject with any medical professionals.
Definitely not. Especially my doctor....she's so old school that she's just plain wrong about basic fertility stuff. There's no way I'd mention swaying stuff to her, she'd check me into the looney bin.
Wouldn't get to see a midwife till I was preggo anyways where I live.
I'm pretty hush about this stuff IRL, I don't want people to think I'm a nut so I only talk about it with DH and my best friend. I don't even tell anyone that we're TTC again as this'll be #4 and I really don't need the judgement, tyvm.
Here is the only place I talk about swaying (apart from DH of course) I have'nt even said it to my sister whom I am very close too. She has BGBG, but she always says be thankful for what you have and I agree, but I wonder would she say different if she had all the one gender!!
When i was pregnant with boy #6 my OB told me I can not do anything to increase chances of baby gender. It depends on which sperm makes it to the egg 1st. So by that being said i will keep my mouth closed about swaying no one will understand but you all Ladies :)
Oh i did tell my family doctor i use RePhresh when i went for my yearly pap last wk. I told Her in advance just in case She see some white clumpy stuff :rofl:. She asked why i used it i told Her to keep my PH at a good level. She said it's really not needed but i can use it if i want. I could only imagine if i told Her i was swaying for a girl what she would have said.
wow I guess I'm glad a have a very laid back midwife who has been in her practice a long time, she has delivered over 3,ooo babies and has been around for a long time, she is so natural she has long leg and arm pit hair :rofl: she has probably been asked question's like that many time's before. I even have a girl friend who has the same midwife and my friend had the IUD as her birth control and the midwife told her as soon as she was to get it out to hurry and conceive imediatly and would more then likely conceive a boy and sure enough thats what she got cuz she had asked her and thats what my friend wanted. My friend already has a girl so I don't know yet what she would say about what to do to get a girl. But I am gonna go in for my pap and ask her, I'm not scared if anything she will probably understand and she has probably even seen women with Gender dissapointment. So I will update you kadies once I ask her and tell you what she said .So curious what she thinks cuz she is a great swet lady and so natural she might have some tips but of course won't guarentee anything which is fine but hey It couldn't hurt to ask.:happy:
yep I hear ya it's so frustrating when someone has bothe gender's they will never understand and really they have no room to talk .Quote:
Originally Posted by pebmcp6
Wow sounds like you have a really great midwife, the one's round by us are lovely but they get snippety if you even ask the gender. Tech's won't go near that area til 20 weeks and then they drag it out to the end of the scan and get funny about it, i got that upset at my last scan and she was unsympathetic and down right horrid to meQuote:
Originally Posted by wannagirl21
That's not good! What do they get so snippy about? If someone is disappointed, they are disappointed, that's it. Nothing against them! Sorry to hear that, but now you know what NOT to ask when you get prego again!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs_P
Yeah the one question i am dying to know the answer to - is it another boy!
I brought it up jokingly to my doctor kinda to see what she'd say, she made a snark remark. So I never ever brought it up again haha! And I only talk about it to my DH and my very very best friend BUT DH is a loud mouth. He told most his friends and ALL his coworkers. I was angry cause I'm sure they all think I'm friggen nuts now lol but whatever. He was as supportive and into it all as I was, so they will think we are both nuts together!
No I didn't ask my doctor. Only my husband and I know that we tried to sway........and my SIL. My SIL has two boys and swayed for her little girl- so she understands. I don't feel comfortable telling anyone else. That's why I'm so thankful for this website!
I asked my doctor before conceiving DS2 is there was anyway to increase your chance at having a girl. She said she didn't believe in swaying b/c she tried to sway for a girl with her first child and had a girl but then did everything differently with her second to try for a boy and had another girl. I never felt comfortable asking exactly what she did to sway lol. She is very laid back though so I may tell her that I swayed girl when I do conceive. Hopefully she just did all the wrong things when TTC a boy!
Might just be me but never sure how much you can take from first baby sways maybe shes a girl mum!Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiley13
Not neccesarily I heard this one lady who is a midwife swayed for a girl first and got a girl and then swayed for boy and got a boy cuz thats what they wanted and in that order, maybe that doctor didn't have all the new way's and info about swaying as we do now. hopefully that is the case anyway's.Quote:
Originally Posted by fish2012
Ya I only talk to DH about it as well but I feel like I could ask my midwife cuz she really can't go around and tell ppl my business anyway's at least they aren't suppost too. I will give it a shot really it can't hurt, I'm sorry some of you ladies have or had some mean doctor's they probably just don't understand because they probably don't have kids of their own. I'm curious about my midwife because she told my friend how to get a boy so in that case she might know a couple trick's to maybe getting a girl and she has been in her practice for such a long time I'm sure somwhere down the line she has researched or at least maybe looked into it because she might have been curiouse her self.:happy:
I feel like I can't ask any doc or midwife for fear they will think i'm a weirdo! Would love to hear from anyone that has asked however.
A friend recently confided in me that she swayed to get her son (she's pregnant with him now) after having a daughter. She had this theory and reckoned she was totally in the know... then went on to describe the shettles method. LOL I almost died. She was so convinced because it worked for her both times. Then I asked her about diet and frequency, and low and behold, she unknowingly did a LE diet with girl frequency (abstain) for the girl, and HE diet with heaps of supplements, fruit, veg, meat, snacking etc and BD every 2 days for the boy!!! That made me feel better!
Thats cool my mom 17 years ago she had thre girls in a row and cried her eyes out after her 3rd girl because her hubby got fixed and thought they were done having kids. And after her 3rd girl 4 years later she read an article in a magazine and it talked about way's you could conceive a boy or girl and all they suggested was a water and baking soday douch and prop legs up after intercourse, after she read that she got so excited went and made my dad go get a reversal ( un Fixed ) and she tryed just that and got her Boy!!!! and my mom is one of six girls and her mom was a frequent vinegar and water doucher. And they didn't know anything about swaying. Crazy!!Quote:
Originally Posted by meeks32
I haven't asked mine, but then again, I won't be going back to see the doc until after I'm pregnant. On of our friends swayed with their son after having two girls. She did a diet, although I don't know what it consisted of and did sups. I remember people were all talking about her saying she was on some "crazy" diet, blah blah blah. Well, they had their boy! He was the first male grandchild in their family after 6 girls...
People have asked, and their doctors/midwifes typically give them inaccurate info - either that gender is 50-50 flip of the coin which is not true http://genderdreaming.com/forum/scie...ying-real.html or give them the whole Shettles timing and douche bit.
Also, in my experience midwives are about the worst offender with the "heartrate = gender" BS - I just saw a midwife doing that on A Baby Story and wanted to reach thru the TV and throttle her.
CVD - a few months ago i was having technical issues with my internet (my internet and this site didn't "like" each other for some reason) and my husband was trying to work it out for me, and he got to chatting with the tech support people and told them all about swaying and gender disappointment! o.OQuote:
Originally Posted by cvd
Haha!! Oh my goodness. That is tooooo funny! MEN, right?Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
My DH was actually shocked when I told him we don't tell people we are swaying, since he was totally on board he seemed to not realize that others may think it's strange!!
They will be getting snippety and not telling you until 20 weeks because in the Midlands there are a lot of Asian and Indian families who have a reputation of having abortions if they find out if its a girl. If its after 20 weeks they don't really have a leg to stand on, and I know one councillor was calling for a change to the law to not allow abortions after 20 weeks unless its on medical or special grounds (rape, etc).Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs_P
I know its racist but better to be safe than sorry in my opinion - the law has changed in India I think too so that gender is not revealed at ultrasounds for this very reason.
It was actually my doctor who mentioned Shettles to me a few years back...but I had to do my own research, and I'm glad I did since we know now that's it's a crock.
My midwife isnt too big on heartrates thank goodness.:happy:Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
I think ppl know more about swaying these day's then before I have a girlfriend who is a naturalpath and she believes in it. I'm glad my hubby is on board with the swaying I even asked him if we try all this stuff and If it doesn't work are you gonna laugh at me, and he said no I will be sad for you. lol.... too funny:happy:Quote:
Originally Posted by cvd
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Anchor
My (retired) ob-gyn gave me a paper with instructions for "having a girl" (they had one for having a boy, but I already knew how to make those. lol) And yes, it was shettles and a total crock....from that "recipe" came DS3, who I wouldn't trade for anything, but certainly wasn't expecting. lol.
Wannagirl21, you're lucky...most of them are.
I had the best midwife heart rate advice (not related to gender determination) with ds2. She said "it's nothing to do with predicting gender, but I believe it predicts personality and temperament. They come out how they are inside. If you have one who consistently tracks a very high heart rate, and moves a lot, they will give you the same on the outside...be very active, probably a bit unsettled and energetic. If you have a consistently slow heart rate, they will be mellow, relaxed, chilled, easy babies"
To be honest that pretty much sums up my boys, and makes so much more sense than heart rate gender crap!
Ps. Totally laughed out loud at some of the above posts, thanks ladies, gotta love men and tv!
My ds2 was a shettles failure too, now I'm all over anyone that thinks its correct!!
Meeks- that makes better sense to me about the heart rate. My 2 boys' heart rates in utero were always between 165 and 170. This one measured 145 a couple of weeks ago - however this baby was jumping and flipping all over the place. I was like "Oh No! You are number 3! You are going to be calm and chilled out! Get all that jumping out of your system now!" :)
Geez if that heart rate thing is true I am screwed.... Ds1 and 2 both were 170, they indeed have energy. This baby was 180! Someone help me! Hahahaha
That is the assumption and I think media promotes the idea, but I have had several people buy custom sway plans for pink from India, Pakistan, UAE, and also people of those nationalities living abroad who wanted girls, so help me spread the word that this is NOT always the case and that they love and value their daughters as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern_Shutterbug
Rosie, that's how mine were - my boys were always always 150-160 and two were in the 170-180 range several times. Then my DD had heartrates in the 128-135 range and I was like "jeez is that even normal??"Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosie85
My midwife did ALOT of gender guessing and was feeding way too much into my GD with DS2. She kept saying "Oh this is definitely a girl!!" whenever she did heartbeat or heard a symptom I didn't have with DS1. Even after we were told it was most likely a boy she still went "Oh no im sure its a girl"
Its not always a good thing tbh
HI ladies, today I went to my anual gynecological revision and have an interesting conversation with her. I told about the 3 big topics of sway under my point of view:
1. how maternal condition-diet can determinate what gender have more possibilities of survive, low sugar , etc...
2. Testosterone and Estrogens and its effects on CM (clomid and antihistamines)
3. quality and quantity of sperm
She has 2 boys (with no sway) and told me things really interestings. Surprisingly she worked many years at the departament of infertility of my country ( I didnīt know it ) and told me:
1. in that years they did "post coital" exams in a lot of couples AND altough she knows perfectly how spermatogenesis works and it makes 50%x-50%y the fact is that in many exams the only alive sperm were or "x ones" or "y ones" I told her about the possibility of seeing capacitated or uncapacitated sperm, but told me, it was with a very accuracy microscopes, and trained personal and that with this stuff, can see the morphology between x and y different due to their different genetical charge. She used terms like "sharpened" and couldnīt avoid remember to Atomic and her "pencil example y sperm" They didnīt know why, but the fact is that happened in many couples, while in others there was "mixed x and y" alive....
Even more, she confessed me that the director of the center who has 3 girls looked under microscope his "sample" :worry: after different patterns of time, just for curiosity why he only had girls and they always were most x sperm.... I think is really interesting!
She told me, there are few studies done (as unfortunately all we know here) but she suspect that kind of food, chemicals...do that "something" happens in some men that although the produces 50-50 x-y when they releases the proportion of ALIVES ones is not 50-50, while in other men the proportion is still more or less the same between x and y alived...:think:
So now I have clear at all, I will force my DH to drink soy milk like crazy, I suspect for him could be something good to kill in some way their "y" . DOnīt know if it has sense, but wonīt hurt for just a couple of months...
2. She told me anyway itīs not just only the man, but the woman who at the end (at the egg) have the last word, she said- "probably through a kind of physical bio-chemical inside us that we donīt even how works" again remembered atomicīs idea around "few sperms" or "a lot of sperms" reaching the egg..
3. Around nutrition, she told me: look at me Iīm skinny and have 2 boys.... I didnīt want to extend me more, but i think altough sheīs really skinny, she has been like this for years, and so, didnīt break any pattern around this before fertilization, so I can imagine her body didnīt think in any time she could have lack of resources, but just my guesses, who know...
4. Hormones? ok, she told me that if I want low E, I must focus in have low fat in blood. Iīm a normal weight person, but told me is not as important my fat accumulated in my body, as the fat food that gives the blood "easy and quickly fat" , and thus, high estrogen. I also tell her about vitex, if she knew, and surprise! she prescribed to me because of my breast tenderness, but I donīt think take the brand she prescribed to me because is 4 mg/pill (in fact is a medicine vitex form, not like a supp form... :think: ). I canīt find any sense, in comparation with natures way that I have which have 400 mg!!! I donīt understand.... anyway Iīll take natures way.
Respect clomid, she advised me not to take (I shouldnīt have bought it...it was expensive :hair:) I told her about studies respect more girls and told me that those studies are done in persons that have been prescribed it for a reason, so maybe are more aspects that can be swaying and not only clomid, so , since I canīt handle twins (altough in my mind is a wonderful thing, in my real life would be very difficoult) she doesnīt advise. Overmore, I would have to be monitored the cycle and will be very stressful for me. She encouraged me to use antihistamines BEFORE O ( she remarked it )to have an hostil and less CM since I told her about the possibilitie of take them, and in fact the antihistamines are something that are radical cut when are fertility problems....
5. Folic Acid, always.
6. Luck, of course. She and her nurse whished me good luck, and my gin told me in middle of the conversation that she thinks I am going to have "a little girl..a beautiful little girl"... I almost cried. The proximity of my attempt (and my last child, so my last opportunity) has made me so nervious and unsecure about all, that Iīm in a point that I know that is just luck at the end of the end of the end, there where acijel and vitex donīt reach... :rolleyes:
I live in the Midlands too and when I went to my 20 weeks scan the lady was very rude about us asking for gender. She even asked how we would feel if it was another boy, and I think depending on our answer she might not have told us the gender at all has she felt we gave 'the wrong one'. It's not just asian people who abort babies of one gender - I know there has been a lot of controversy in my home country (abortion limit 12 weeks ,unless medical reason) where woman have gone to Sweden (18 weeks) or UK (24 weeks) to have abortions based on gender!
I think the heartrate/movement thing might be right though - my eldest was never still, his heart rate always high. When scanned at 12 weeks the lady got really frustrated in the end becasue he just would not stay still and as I write he is charging about the living room and has done so for the last hour. Never gets tired that boy! While my youngest was always calm, didn't move as much and had an average heartrate - he is so calm and chilled. Loves cuddles and story time. Although he does charge around alot, he loves doing calm things (helps me with kitchen, laundry, tidying up or just sits on the bed and sings while I go about doing my chores)
Mariposa, this is super interesting!
Any ideas how to exterminate x-swimmers, before, during or after BD?
I agree, very interesting, but I still maintain that it is impossible to see X and Y sperm thru a microscope. I DO think there absolutely could be some difference between men in the length of time their X vs. Y sperm survive but I do not believe anyone can see that in a post-coital test.
About the Clomid, I think that many of the people who are often prescribed Clomid are more likely to be boy-friendly to begin with (PCOS) and so the statistics make it look LESS effective, not more effective. I would take the Clomid if I had it, but of course you must do what feels best to you! :)
Thanks for sharing, I think it's really neat that she was so helpful and open.
Well, of course it was just her opinion and I donīt want to say itīs totally true. I wish something could be a 100% sure on swaying!! :pray:
Anyway, I canīt stop thinking about the conversation and think that have that maybe although a man makes 50-50 x and y, and although there can not be able to be seen differences between x and y under a scope like you say atomic , itīdoesnīt mean that doesnīt happens "things" inside a body man -specially during many days without releasing- that kills x or y. So making 50-50 maybe doesnīt mean 50-50 (alive) in the sperm finally, and thatīs why maybe in the HT process of fertilization (I donīt know much about HT anyway...) never uses to be 50% xx embryos and 50% xy embryos (altough it could be in men who have "neutral" conditions maybe..)..... but in fact, I have seen HT ladies signatures which for example tried for a XY because have all girls, and with many eggs STILL get all girls embryos..... and itīs something to think about.
Iīm not saying woman canīt sway..never Iīll do:bigsmile:!!! It just that maybe men have more role in a fertilization than we think.... We know for sure that ph canīt be what kills determinated kind of sperm because both xx and xy have been failured with a perfect ph like atomic said, so maybe must be another thing related to food , or maybe sugar (we know xy embryos need sugar to develope) and sugar is present in sperm, in fact flavour of sperm (sorry TMI) change with food.... well of course I donīt know how it works, but is probably that even my doctor were not right about what they saw, it makes me ask myself about the important role of his spermies, what in fact I like because I thought it was almost all about me :think:
About the clomid, yes.... is horrible having and not using.... Iīm not 100% convinced not to use it, but Iīll star vitex+SP anyway and will see what decide...now Iīm all the time changing my mind...going crazy :wink:Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush