Not sure what to do now

I said in a previous post that I just want a healthy baby but a sister for my daughter would be so great and I would just love another little girl. However, I am on CD9 after a chemical pregnancy. My temps have been higher than usual until today, the finally dropped back down, I assume my hormones are leveling out now. Does that mean that the extra progesterone is out of my system?

I am just not sure how to sway now. My sway obviously got a little messed up because once I thought I was pregnant, I was taking prenatals and started eating very healthy.

Plus, I have been spotting for the past 8 days so there has not been any sex. If I ovulate in the next week or so, I want to go for it because I just don't have a ton of time to spare.

I have been drinking RRL tea but then I just read it may not sway girl. Otherwise, I am just not eating breakfast and I am watching my calories. I just am not sure what else to do.

My husband: He drinks a TON of coffee, sits at a desk all day, exercises and is generally healthy besides eating icecream each night. He is not taking any supplements.

We BD'ed this morning (CD9) and now I am not sure if we should keep going every day or what. FR does not seem to be much of an option as he is in full time school as well. He does not have a high sex drive and neither do I (we typically have sex once a week).

I think I conceived my daughter was a 7 day abstain on the day of ovulation. But it was also summer and I was drinking more and was more active. We even used preseed. I don't know! I was so surprised to have a girl after my husbands extremely male dominant family.

So hard to decide, I know it can be so random but I want to feel like I have a chance!

Anyone? What would you do? I realize it won't be the best sway but is there anything I can add? I can't decide about frequency.

I just re-read the information on frequency and it looks like it is too late for us to do either. I am on CD9 and I assume I will ovulate on CD14. I should not have BD'ed this morning.

I think you can still do CFR. I am still a newbie with this stuff so you might want to read up on that and see if it makes sense for your situation. I understand the pull between wanting to get pregnant fast but also wanting to do the best sway you can. Good luck.

Can you post your chart?

I'm so sorry about your chemical. :( A recent m/c does sway girl though. RRL, however, is more boy sway if it sways at all, so you should consider discontinuing it.

Preseed is very strong boy sway so you need to drop that. If you need lube you're better off using KY Sensitive or Sylk, but any lube might block any chances of conception too.

If your hubby can't do FR, then I agree CFR is the way to go.....so let's say you are 3 days before O, you would have DH release two (or three if he can) times per day, then release and dump once on O-1. Then BD when he's up for it again. Continue to BD through O after that. It's ok not to do anything for frequency too, it doesn't sway as strongly as diet and it has to work for you and DH.

Get back on the LE diet but don't sweat missing out on a few weeks. If you're really nervous you can skip this cycle just to get on track with the diet, but being as your chemical would sway girl you probably don't have to. However, you should be prepared to have a weird first cycle, either delayed O or anov is possible, sometimes it can take your body a cycle or two to get back to normal.

HTH! :)

Sure, how do I add my chart?

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Originally Posted by hplnvf32

Sure, how do I add my chart?

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If you're charting on Fertility Friend you need to setup your homepage so you can share it with us. Under the "Sharing" Menu there's an option to setup your home page, so you need to go there first. Make sure to select all the charts you wish to make public, then copy and paste your homepage url here. :)

Also, I just don't think the frequency part is going to work for us. I haven't told my husband about this (although I usually share everything with him) I just don't know if he will believe in this :) I am wondering if I got lucky with my girl the first time or if we do follow some of the typical girl swayers lifestyles at all (some information above). I know it can be all about luck though cause like I said my first girl was conceived with preseed, my husband was lifting weights at the time but we did abstain and conceive on day of ovulation. I was taking whole food prenatals and ate a mixed diet from the boy and girl side. It was summer, we both were drinking more and just more active. Does family history come into play at all? His side and his father's side are mostly boys.

Gosh the more I think about it, the more I think about how much I want another girl. I was breastfeeding up until a couple months ago, my daughter is 2.5 years old. I am trying to think about what other info I can add to give you a picture of it all. But it probably doesn't matter. It's just hard to know how to sway.

Thank you for responding.

3dab47 Ovulation charts on FertilityFriend.com

Sure, you can still sway without frequency! The diet part is the most important factor anyways. It's awfully hard to say why you were able to have a girl first, could be DH's exercise, could be your diet at the time, could've been your body composition, etc. Impossible to know.

I do believe that there is a genetic predisposition factor, yes. I have 3 boys, my DH's family has all boys at least 3 generations back. It's rather new info that the woman can sway, and it seems diet plays a big part. In any case you really need to be ok with an opposite since nothing we do to sway can guarantee your desired gender. But it doesn't hurt to try!

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Originally Posted by hplnvf32

3dab47 Ovulation charts on FertilityFriend.com

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Perfect, thanks! I don't see enough charts to show a luteal phase issue, the only chart I see with crosshairs is from your last pregnancy. But things can change since pregnancy and breastfeeding can mess up our hormones. Oh, and I should've mentioned too that bf'ing (since you only recently weaned) can really screw up your LP. Prolactin, the lactation hormone, interferes with progesterone, resulting in really whacked up LP's. If the short LP thing is new then you probably just need to give your body time to regulate after weaning.

I only recently weaned DS3. I had hoped to conceive again while still nursing him (he'll be 3 next week) but my LP was too messed up (5-7 days!). So I weaned all except one daily feeding this month and hope it'll be good. Nursing and luteal phase deficiency pretty much goes hand in hand.

Thank you. I know I don't have a bunch of charts to look at but does it look like I have a short LP? I didn't realize that. Last month was my first full month of charting and then I had a positive HPT. I am starting to show some signs in my CM that O may be approaching but I am just waiting and seeing. What would you say are the biggest things to do in my diet? I realize it may be too late to make too many changes though. I want to try this month if I O and I would be okay if I had a boy. I just want to try for a girl :)

Biggest things with diet if you don't want to get too obsessive about it is to go vegetarian and stick to only 2-3 meals a day with NO snacks. No breakfast if you can manage it. I don't count calories or anything myself, I just watch the scale and I'm careful not to gain weight. (I don't have extra to lose in my case).

It's far too early to diagnose a short LP if you've only been charting a month and recently weaned bf'ing. It can take up to 6 months for your hormones to regulate after bf'ing, so don't worry about it. Plus, everyone has the odd weird month, it doesn't mean anything unless it happens over and over again.

I would really suggest you start the LE diet, keep charting, and have some patience for your cycle, it's likely just gradually getting back to normal after the nursing. Give it a few months and if your LP is still really screwed up (like, less than 9 days every month) then after 3-4 cycles I'd head to the doc and have your hormones checked.

You really want to have been on the LE diet for 6 weeks to have it be effective, but if you want to try this month be ultra conservative (antihistamines, frequent release, no bd'ing through O).

I'm really sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I'm trying really hard but it's tough sometimes with the three kids.

If having sex once a week works for you guys as a couple, I think that is a good way for you to go.

A few days of being off diet and on prenatals can't undo the good you did from being on diet previously.

I would def. have advised you to go for it so I'm hoping that's what you did.

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Originally Posted by hplnvf32

I just re-read the information on frequency and it looks like it is too late for us to do either. I am on CD9 and I assume I will ovulate on CD14. I should not have BD'ed this morning.

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It's ok tho - one time in 2 weeks, even if it is on the closer side to ovulation, is not the end of the world.

You could also have done (or still do, altho I suspect I'm too late) a hurry-up FR where you have DH release once, dump it, then DTD again as soon as you're able to and use the second batch for insemination.

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Originally Posted by hplnvf32

Also, I just don't think the frequency part is going to work for us. I haven't told my husband about this (although I usually share everything with him) I just don't know if he will believe in this :) I am wondering if I got lucky with my girl the first time or if we do follow some of the typical girl swayers lifestyles at all (some information above). I know it can be all about luck though cause like I said my first girl was conceived with preseed, my husband was lifting weights at the time but we did abstain and conceive on day of ovulation. I was taking whole food prenatals and ate a mixed diet from the boy and girl side. It was summer, we both were drinking more and just more active. Does family history come into play at all? His side and his father's side are mostly boys.

Gosh the more I think about it, the more I think about how much I want another girl. I was breastfeeding up until a couple months ago, my daughter is 2.5 years old. I am trying to think about what other info I can add to give you a picture of it all. But it probably doesn't matter. It's just hard to know how to sway.

Thank you for responding.

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It's ok if you can't do the frequency. Everyone gets really hung up on that but I think it's not that much of a sway tactic in the grand scheme of things. I got my girl with perfect boy frequency and I know of several others who got girls with boy frequency as well.

Luck totally has a part to play. This is not like flipping a light switch where if you do everything right, you are then guaranteed a baby of a certain gender. You can do everything right and all it does is increase your odds.

I do not believe family history has a part to play - I think peopel from the same family had similar lifestyles when they were being raised and men from the same family may have a taste for women with certain attributes that make them more boy/girl friendly, and that may skew the odds somewhat. But overall, I think gender swaying works because sometimes boys have better odds of survival and sometimes girls do, and that "need" overrides anything genetically - it's just not SMART for our genes' survival to have all boys no matter what, because sometimes boys have been way less likely to survive than girls were. It would be a dumb move from the perspective of our genes, to have 90% boys in a family because at any point where most of the males got killed off, that's a genetic dead end for our genes.