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Just a thought but wondering if when we announce we are pregnant we could lie and say tat we are execting boy number 4 so its out there and done with and gives me and others time to deal with it and the comments wont shock me so much when people make comments at birth plus it avoids all the oh i bet you hope it its a girl stuff..... Then if a girl pops out we can just pretend the scan must have been wrong :-)
DH would never agree but its really what i feel like doing !!!
Why not just lie and tell people that you don't know what you're having but you're hoping for your 4th boy. That's what I've started doing. When people say things like "I bet you're hoping for a girl", I say "I've seen the boys we make and they're fantastic. I'm hoping for another one of those but will be happy with a healthy baby." That way, I won't have to deal with the awkward pity when our 3rd boy makes his appearance. People will think it's what I wanted anyways and I won't have to deal with any "maybe next time!" comments.
I thought about doing this exact same thing!! Chickened out though. I'm a rubbish liar. The worst part is my Mum wants to come to my gender scan so now I'm going to have to book two gender scans. One so I can find out on my own with DH (give me time to get to grips with the result) and another so I can pretend I'm hearing for the first time!! Grrrrr
After what I went through with the horrible comments when I was prego with DD3, I'd just flat out lie and say 'we aren't finding out this time," or "Its a surprise!" or something else.
Because you have 3 boys, everyone is going to assume you are desperate for a girl and its none of their business. The comments aren't meant to be cruel but they are horrid and only make you feel worse.
I am still debating what to do for me. If this baby is a boy I want to tell a few people, but those people have big mouths and DH probably won't be able to keep it quiet.
If its a girl, NO ONE other than DH and my Gender Dreaming friends are going to know until she is born!! I refuse to be verbally beat up once again because I have another girl on the way.
Lol, I'm totally thinking about doing this too!!...I just have a gut feeling it's boy #3 for us, and I will tell people that i'm soooo happy it is! and totally laugh it off and say i'm just a boy making machine! ..even though i will be 'secretly' sad I totally don't want others to tell ME 'how I hoped that it's a girl'...
actually almost everyone I know is aware of how much I wanted a girl...stupid me..I always asked about girl mom's diets etc. it will be hard to lie..but I gotta hide my emotions. specially from girl mom's who I don't really like lol. for example, my sis in law, who swayed girl, but acted like she didn't know anything about swaying...stupid bizatch!..when I asked her about it, she said she didnt do anything, but at the time her DH was really stressed and she took advantage?? wtf? ...she even makes comments like: I can see how strong your desire for a girl is, I can see it even more when you are holding my daughter etc...
anyway, some times, around dumb pple like that, it's best to give an answer that's just like a slap in the face, even if it aint true!
That is kind of annoying but I think that is the best thing to do for your own sanity. If its a boy you will have time to come to terms, if its a girl, you can just be thrilled once again!!Quote:
Originally Posted by 3boys
same here!Quote:
Originally Posted by 3boys
I think just saying you don't know the gender but another boy would be fab is a good idea to hopefully calm down the comments.
Unfortunately I don't think you can win either way - if you tell people you're expecting a boy you'll just get the comments earlier, and if you find out you're having a girl and tell people then you'll get all the 'oh thank goodness!'.
I've had all sorts of hurtful comments since I announced we are having our 3rd boy, such as "Oh no! Another boy?!", to "well you're not really a girly girl so it is probably a good thing', to a friend boasting about how lucky she is to have one of each, and then all the general 'oh so you're going to be trying again after this one then' and 'how are you going to cope with 3 boys?!'. Totally sucks that people think it is ok to make such horrible comments. I didn't let on to many people how much I wanted a daughter, we've always said (before we had ds2 even) that we hoped to have 3 children so you would think it wouldn't be such a surprise. But as soon as I got my bfp the comments started. My standard reply was 'we're just hoping for a healthy baby' or 'yes of course a girl would be the icing on the cake but another boy would be just as wonderful'.
I am actually toying with the idea of having a 4th baby after this one if my gd hasn't got any better, but the thing that puts me off more than anything is the comments that I know people will give. :(
Honestly, IF it wasn't for people's stupid remarks, I would totally be fine w/ another boy.. I am more afraid of what I will hear from everyone, rather than me not getting my DG. i know sounds crazy but it's only because i'm around so much talk..it's really annoying!
I know what you mean Wishing, peoples comments have definitely made it worse for me. I actually feel like I'm a bit of a failure which I know is silly, but when all you get is constant comments about how disappointed you must feel it is hard not to feel like that!
Yup, I totally feel you! Ihave a gut feeling this is boy #3 for me, and I know deep down that I will probably never get a girl either..my mom had BGBB. my MIL has 5 sons and 1 daughter. what are the chances of me having a girl?? anyway.. don't stress too much..I know we are meant to enjoy our pregnancies, but only if these comments would go away. some people even make you feel guilty about becoming pregnant. it's terrible.
Yep I totally agree with this. Although I am beyond desperate for a girl. By far the worst bit is having to deal with other peoples stupid insensitive comments.
I had my NT San today and although my nub pics don't show a nub in RL I swear I saw a boy nub. Mentioned this to my mum (to prepare here mentally) and she said "oh well we knew it was a boy!" excuse me?? Did we??? No Doctor has confirmed I physically can't have a girl so how did we know this??? Only I'm allowed to say I don't think I make girls lol.
When I was pregnant with my last son before I went HT, the comments from other people is what bothered me the most. I totally wanted a girl(of course) but people's comments were so out of control. I NEVER ask people what they are having. I always refer to the baby as "baby". I try to be extra sensitive to others even though they probably are not as bothered as I was. You just never know. When I was pregnant with my HT girl, I kept very quiet about it. I had zero desire to shout from the roof tops that it was a girl. People acted so happy and excited for me. Nothing like when I was pregnant with my boys. What a difference being pregnant with an opposite was. It made me never want to discuss gender with any pregnant person. I wish people wouldn't make such lame comments. I know people mean nothing by it, but it still stings when you are on the receiving end.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wishing4Princess
Oh my goodness.. my thoughts EXACTLY! I actually would be happy with another boy.. am starting think same gender families are fun, but it's peoples and family comments (my in-laws will drive me mad) that are putting on the pressure.. seriously the main reason I'm probably swaying!
When I was pregnant with my first boy the cashier at the grocery store asked what I was having and after I said boy she replied "aw, that's too bad.. I had three boys... sigh" what the heck?! I don't understand the negative stigma attached to boys because I think mine are pretty fabulous.
So I feel just like this, I dont' think we are gonna find out with number 3 cuz I don't want to deal with sadness for 9 months. So if ppl ask what I think the baby is I will just say I don't know it's hard to tell, we are just hoping for a healthy baby. I think going team green would be good cuz no matter what the baby is when it's born I think everbody is gonna fall in love with him/her. But to find out early and go the next 4 months with comments and depression is torture and it makes you not want to look forward to having your new baby. A suprise would be a good way to go, maybe atleast for me. I also just want to be humble about it, I had a girlfriend jump the gun at 12 weeks and was like oh I know I'm having a girl, and then 20 week ultrasound it was a boy and she balled her eyes out, so for me to just be humble about it and at least if another boy is born then I won't look so stupid or prideful.
For me, when we found out ds2 was a boy we didn't tell anyone..we told people that we didn't find out the gender. It was tough but it was the only way I could protect myself ...I personally didn't want the comments. Whenever someone said "oh I hope its a girl this time".. I responded " I would rather a boy so ds1 could have a brother"...just what I did to ease my pain at the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mum23boys
Oh I'm not planning on telling anyone anything!
I'm sitll not sure whether we're going team green - I think it will be an in the moment decision when time comes, but irregardless we will tell people we don't know what gender we're having. When people ask us if we're having another baby, we always say we might and that it would be nice with another little boy!
I've been telling people that I'm not sure if I'm going to find out. I'm definitely going to find out though. I'll see how I feel afterward. I can't not know this time. I will have to deal with my disappointment early on and not fall so hard this time. Having said that, other people don't have to know if you don't want them to. I'm not planning on telling people when my ultrasound is. If asked, I'll probably give a later date so I can have some time to deal either way.
That's totes awesome. Saving it for future use!Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadis
I planned on lying to my sister about knowing the sex (I don't know just yet, but think it's a boy). All of my parent's grandkids are boys and my sister has been telling me SHE will be having the first girl (she is only 7 weeks pregnant). We are finding out for sure on Jan. 12. My plan was to only tell parents and grandparents and tell everyone else we aren't finding out. I just can't stand the competition, even from everyone else. The cousins have chosen sides and everyone is rooting for one of us to have to first girl. This has got to be the weirdest competition ever!
Well, that was my plan anyway. The place we are getting the gender determination ultrasound done allows up to 30 people in the room! I have never even hear of that many people! Well, as soon as my mom found that out she begged for me to invite everyone...so we have 16 people coming, my sister included. It was a good plan, but I guess I am going to have to deal with her smug attitude if it IS a boy.
Is it bad that I'm tempted to not even tell anyone when I get pregnant? No one even knows that we are TTC. We already have 3 boys so of course everyone would assume that we are having another only because we want to try for a girl. We are TTC because we want to add another child to our family. Would we love to have a girl? Of course! That's why I'm on this site. That being said we would also be thrilled to have another healthy little boy. I really don't want to hear all of the comments and sympathy. My husband really wants to be team green. I'm not so sure that I can do that. Maybe I will just tell everyone that we aren't finding out but we really will. Sigh.
I lied about knowing the sex throughout my entire pregnancy. To everyone. I knew it was a boy. No one knows that we knew the gender before birth. I just couldn't deal with it. Fortunately, now that our 3rd boy is here, no one has made any comments that they otherwise would have had they known it was boy #3 when I was pregnant! We plan on having a 4th, and will go high tech so we know it will be a girl....but frankly, I just probably will not tell anyone I'm pregnant until it is dead obvious. Too many comments. Too many opinions. I just don't want to hear it!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amberlilly55
with my 5th boy we found out what we were having and kept it a secret
if asked i would always say i hoped it was a boy.
when we do eventually fall pregnant again we will be doing the same thing.
Good question. I'm not even pregnant yet but I know I'll end up with a third boy even with swaying so this has been on my mind too. I'm going to lie and say we are hoping for another boy. Only my mom and hubby will know the truth although hubby DOES actually want another boy.
TBH although my dh is the only one that knows about our swaying i think all my friends know i want a girl and wouldn't be having a third if i had a pigeon pair ;-s