Feeling guilty about thinking/talking about this baby maybe a girl..

I just have this guilty feeling that I shouldn't be talking about this baby and hoping it to be a girl. I am not sure why. I was talking to my mom on the phone and we are very close. But I blurted out how if this is a girl I would do this color scheme, and do these kinds of bows. When I got off the phone I wanted to kick myself in the head for telling her all of that. I felt guilty. I also feel now that if this baby is not a girl, I am going to be letting her down for some odd reason! I am praying for God to give me some kind of peace and stop these feelings. I should to happy and optimistic right??

I'm so sorry you're struggling. GD is a bit of a hairy beast isn't it? My mother used to tell, "you can feel guilty for your actions but not for your feelings". To which I would counter "what about if I'm acting on my feelings?" I was always such a smartass. Sorry navy, I hope you are able to find some peace...

I'm having a really bad GD day myself actually. I just wanted to send you well wishes and hope that you're feeling better soon.

I think it's normal, I also had that same feeling when we found out #2 was another boy, it's like I was letting everybody down... :rolleyes:

I can relate and I'm not even pregnant yet.
When we decided we were going to ttc this summer and for a girl. I blabbed away that we wanted another baby and how I was hoping it would be a girl. I feel like such and idiot because if this baby is boy then every one will know I'm disappointed or at least think I am. I don't want people to think I won't be happy with this pregnancy if it's not a girl.

I will be excited no matter what because this is our first planned pregnancy . So girl or boy this is something to look forward to! I also won't be heart broken if it's a boy because no matter what we decided we would have two more kids! I just want this one to be a girl soooo bad because I want the last to wait until birth to found out the gender. I feel like until I have my girl I will want to know right away.

Meeee toooo!!!
Sometimes I feel so sure and content I will have a girl, then the same feeling for a boy too.
Being not sure sucks :(

hugs to all.

I don't really feel like I'll be letting anyone down, and I don't care if people know we are wanting a girl. Sometimes I feel guilty though because I'll pray for that girl, and then think, what if it's a girl, but something is wrong with her? I feel like I am jinxing myself sometimes. Ultimately I want a healthy baby, AND I want a girl. I don't think God is there to play some sick joke like the jeanie wishes that people get what they "technically" asked for, but with a twist. Sigh...I just need to find out what it is so I can start to deal.

Thank you so much for your support ladies. It is nice to know I am not alone with these feelings. With DS2 I convinced myself he was a girl, even paid for an early gender scan to find out its another boy and leaving there crying. I want to say this is a girl, but I keep telling myself you were wrong last time, don't get your hopes up again. I won't be paying for an early gender scan, I will find out at my regular ultrasound at my doctors.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Navywife620

Thank you so much for your support ladies. It is nice to know I am not alone with these feelings. With DS2 I convinced myself he was a girl, even paid for an early gender scan to find out its another boy and leaving there crying. I want to say this is a girl, but I keep telling myself you were wrong last time, don't get your hopes up again. I won't be paying for an early gender scan, I will find out at my regular ultrasound at my doctors.

---

This is just what happened to me. But I had ALL my in laws in the waiting room of the u/s, they insisted they wanted to go (they were anxious for a girl), so I even couldn't cry because I didn't want to show I was disappointed, although I don't think I could hide my disappointment very well. And when we got out and said "it's another boy" my mil and sil jumped shouting "wohoo" like in happiness, believe me, that was the most fake happiness act I've ever seen. Ridiculous. Then we all went to dinner, blah blah...:hair: Any good memories of that day.
I'm not going to tell anybody when I'm going to the u/s next time. That's if I can get pregnant again, it's not easy for me to get pregnant...

Oh my goodness!! I couldn't imagine! I would feel the same way you did. I don't plan on telling anyone when my u/s is this time either. Except for DH. But the other day I even told DH maybe I want to just go by myself so I can deal with it on my own because I also feel like I am letting him down too. He wants a girl too. He is definitely more optimistic than me, he thinks he have a good shot at a girl this time.

Let's cross our fingers! :fx:

DH said he isn't coming with me to the US this time because he doesn't want to see me cry...

I, too, worried about letting my family down if this baby was our 4th boy. It made me sick. My mom made it worse by calling me and texting me to "think pink" or "If you believe it, she will come". Sometimes it came off as joking, but it was hard to hear bc I wanted a daughter so desperately. My MIL has 2 sons and has put serious pressure on me to have a girl. In fact, when we found out we were actually having a girl she said, after sighing, "it's ANOTHER boy, isn't it?". That really hurt my feelings. I thought to myself, and what if it was a boy? Now I have to deal with her showing favoritism for our daughter over our boys. If that happens, she won't be allowed near my children. Anyway, I also didn't want anyone to know how badly we wanted a DD. So I understand that guilt. I didn't want anyone to pity us or think that we didn't want our baby if she was a boy. We didn't tell anyone when our u/s was bc I didn't want constant texts and phone calls asking what we were having. I knew that if our fourth and last baby was a boy, I would have cried my eyes out. I hate admitting that. I know I would have loved him just as much as I would have loved a daughter.... But the thought of never having a daughter was heartbreaking. It would have been even worse bc I had a gut feeling that we were having a girl. Anyway, I completely understand what you're feeling. You're definitely not alone :bighug: .

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Navywife620

I just have this guilty feeling that I shouldn't be talking about this baby and hoping it to be a girl. I am not sure why. I was talking to my mom on the phone and we are very close. But I blurted out how if this is a girl I would do this color scheme, and do these kinds of bows. When I got off the phone I wanted to kick myself in the head for telling her all of that. I felt guilty. I also feel now that if this baby is not a girl, I am going to be letting her down for some odd reason! I am praying for God to give me some kind of peace and stop these feelings. I should to happy and optimistic right??

---

Hey fellow Navy wife, we are a rare and tough breed aren't we??

Like the others have said GD is a mean monster and affects our thinking to an extreme. You are perfectly normal for wanting a girl and being anxious about it.

What you said to your mom was completely fine, If it makes you feel better tell her next time you talk to her all the details of what you will do if you have a boy. There is nothing wrong with playing 'what if'?

While we should all be grateful with a healthy baby, not getting your desired gender is tough and is a separate emotion.
Don't let your GD feelings mess with your head because you are in good company of a lot of ladies who truly understand your heartache!!

I'm sorry you feel like this, you are definitely in good company!

With DS2 I had done an ill informed IG girl sway, my pregnancy was also completely different! I was convinced he was a girl! My 20 week scan proved otherwise!

:hugs:

A few of my very close friends (who know about my want for a girl) will know when my ultrasound is. Other than that I don't plan on telling anyone when I'm going!! I also plan on asking the tech to put the gender revealing pics in an envelope so that I can get as far away from the office as possible before finding out. I always have check-ups following my ultrasounds and the last thing I want to have to do is put on a big fake happy face if we don't get our dream gender.

I do feel like I'd be letting people down. My eldest son, my husband and my niece who is desperate to have a girl cousin. She doesn't even have a sister.
I too worry that by wishing too hard I'm going to make some thing happen. Every time in the first few weeks that I experienced cramping I thought it was because it was a boy and I was wishing it away but wishing for a girl. When I pray that I have a girl I always have to qualify that I want a healthy baby and it would be even more perfect if it is a girl.
I feel bad because I feel like I'm asking the baby to be something its not (pretty sure now its a boy)

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

I kinda did the same thing and then felt the same way with DS2 (due in August). I kept telling my mom and DH that if this baby is a girl what I'm going to do and then swearing up and down it was a girl and then when we found out it was a boy I was sad but also felt sad that I was letting everyone down by getting mine and their hopes up.

No one was disappointed that it was a boy...if anyone was it was mostly me and expressing my feelings that I let everyone down and hearing their kind words helped me cope.

Before I knew my identical twins were boys I went on talking about matching flower girls for when DP and I got married and had even brought matching girl outfits because I was so hopeful.