Not even TTC and feeling defeated

I am really trying to stress, but swaying is very overwhelming to me, mostly mentally. I feel like there are so many contradictions, so much to do, and it still isn't 100%. Then I think about all those mom's out there who are suffering from IF, and here I am trying to make my self more infertile.

I keep looking at these people who are pregnant and wishing they would have boys, and jealous of people having girls. I don't understand why I feel like this. I adore my son, and would love another DS, but I have this crazy desire for a DD. I wish I knew where it came from. I wish all the gender desire would just go away.

Rough day. THanks for letting me vent. :HH:

I would get a plan together. There are probably some really obvious things that you and DH can change from your regular llifestyle that might make a big difference. Focus on that. Start a journal. See what things you can fit into your day that will sway pink for you. It is never 100%. Start with the obvious and then go from there!

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Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink

I would get a plan together. There are probably some really obvious things that you and DH can change from your regular llifestyle that might make a big difference. Focus on that. Start a journal. See what things you can fit into your day that will sway pink for you. It is never 100%. Start with the obvious and then go from there!

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Thanks. I am trying to find more info on what DH needs to do because I am very focused on me. I just worry about making myself too unhealthy. I am on WW to lose the rest of my baby weight, but I only have 5 more lbs to go. After that I am not sure how much more weight I can lose and still be healthy, I am only 5'4 and I will be 117 lbs.

Thank you for the response. I don't know why I am like this today. I am usually a very positive person.

I am going to move this to gender desire, I didn't realize there was separate place for posts like these :)

Hi kasey- I felt like this when I was planning a girl sway. It really got to me and made me feel a little hopeless about being able to "get a sway right". The stress was high for sure. It made me actually want a girl even more after for some reason, maybe because the swaying isn't 100%, and no matter how perfect I could be with a sway, it would never be 100%. That was a hard feeling. I'm with you. Those days make sense. Big hug.

Big hugs! I know how you feel :( It's so hard somedays. I find it very overwhelming as well. What I did(and I can send you my draft of it if you like :)) was write out in a word document everything that I've found that will help me to have a girl. I have timing, supps, diet, etc and it's all in one place. I am way more relaxed because I can look at it easily, print out the diet info and have it on hand- tacked to the fridge. I know that I will try my hardest to get my girl...but maybe I'm just meant to have boys:) Who knows! I hope it gets easier for you! XO
And if you want me to send you a copy of all the stuff I wrote out...just PM me! :D

I'm swaying boy, but it really helped me to just write it all down and get it out of my head. I even posted it here on GD to get opinions or suggestions. You can double check specific questions easier once you have it written down. I also wrote down what I needed to do 2 weeks before, calendered when to start certain supplements and what to do 1 hour before. But I'm still nervous I didn't or won't do it right, or might forget something when it comes down to DTD, but I think that's probably normal.
I kind of feel like people may be swaying accidently just from their personal diet choices and lifestyle unknowingly, so why not do it on purpose. I don't feel bad just being more informed and making changes to sway the odds. It's not a guarantee anyway so why not! It is a huge blessing to be able to have children and be fertile and we should thank God for that, but I think it's OK to sway the odds a little. :)

I know how you feel. I desperately want a girl. Everyone around me at the moment has had or are having girls. I just can't believe that out of 10 people I am the only one to have a boy. This happened when I had my first son as well. I adore my sons but I am a bit depressed that I can't have a girl. I am trying to get a sway together but the information is so over whelming. Sometimes I think its just too much and I can't work out what to do and I will probably end up with 3 boys anyway. Its very stressful and I sometimes wish I could just be happy with 2 boys but its killing me being the only one not to have a beautiful little girl. I wish I could do high tech but we can't do it where I live so I am trying my best to get a plan together and if we get another boy I need to accept it and be happy with my boys. Gender desire sucks BIG time :(

im sorry your going though that. i always feel like that as well. i love all my boys and i know i would be happy with another boy but i always pray that whoever is pregnant has a boy because it just makes me so sad for a few days. i just sit there and think how come they get a girl when they didn't even try or didn't want one and i try so hard and keep having boys. big hugs!!!!

I feel the same some days...There is so much info to read and I forget things and don't remember good and for sure I will screw up (again!) it's like I need someone to help me out here with all this . I really don't even know what big changes we suppose to do?? So what we did now changed the diet and drinks. We use to drink diet pepsi all day long! Now it's green tea, v8 juice, water and so.
So maybe you can try to change this at first?
Oh and you can wish me to be pregnant with a boy any time!!:bigsmile:

I echo everything the women said above. No one really understands how much this guts you unless they're going through or been through it. A month ago, my brain was ready to explode! O+12...No, 3 day cut-off...no, 1 day cut-off...Sylk...No, Rephresh....No, Aci-jel....Douche or not to douch...since I'm over 35, should I just be happy I'm getting preg or sway hard...ARG. I reached a point recently where I just had to surrender. My girl diet isn't perfect...I do well in some areas, others aren't great. Atomic posted something a while back that really resonated with me...Something to the effect of doing what you feel is right at the time. That's what I'm sticking to and it has given me a lot of peace. I do what I can w/the sway and surrender the rest. I have to just trust that we'll get the sweet soul we were meant to get. If I get a boy, I cannot guarantee I won't have GD but I've got peace at the moment and I'm just letting things unfold and taking a backseat. I am sending you TONS of HUGS & TONS of PINK DUST.

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Originally Posted by UmaJain

I do what I can w/the sway and surrender the rest. I have to just trust that we'll get the sweet soul we were meant to get. If I get a boy, I cannot guarantee I won't have GD but I've got peace at the moment and I'm just letting things unfold and taking a backseat.

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I :HH: this! I am feeling that way right now. I want to welcome a new little life inside of me with open arms and no stress....and I may be dealing with certain feelings later but right now I want to enjoy the last time I TTC.
I have my papers written out and I've decided that I will not start anything until my elusive cycle returns. It takes some stress off me. I'm taking my vitex and my kiddo has been nursing less frequently so hopefully that will help. Anyway, I hope everyone gets their Girl!!!! ~~~~

I completely understand how you feel. We are a lot alike (even height and weight wise, LOL), and I feel very guilty for thinking some things: like you said, some women don't have ANY kids, and I have two wonderful little boys. I don't understand where this desire for a girl comes in either, and how bad I feel that I don't have one. :( It's nice to know there are others out there.

Thanks for all the support ladies. I really, truly, appreciate it.:awe:

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Originally Posted by kaseybaby

I am really trying to stress, but swaying is very overwhelming to me, mostly mentally. I feel like there are so many contradictions, so much to do, and it still isn't 100%. Then I think about all those mom's out there who are suffering from IF, and here I am trying to make my self more infertile.

I keep looking at these people who are pregnant and wishing they would have boys, and jealous of people having girls. I don't understand why I feel like this. I adore my son, and would love another DS, but I have this crazy desire for a DD. I wish I knew where it came from. I wish all the gender desire would just go away.

Rough day. THanks for letting me vent. :HH:

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I completely understand...just know that we ALL feel just the same way. There is no rhyme or reason to GD, I really do think the need for a child of a particular gender is just born into us and it's like trying to survive without food or oxygen.

My attitude towards swaying was, I KNOW my natural setting is boy-friendly. So it's like I'm swaying blue all the time anyway. I felt like, even with all the contradictions of swaying and no guarantees, that I needed to sway just to get to 50-50 odds and then I would take the flip of a coin at that point. But for me, doing nothing meant for sure I would have another boy.

If swaying is getting too overwhelming, just keep in mind you don't need to do everything (or even most things). Even if you only pick out two things that feel doable to you and go with it, you're giving yourself more of a chance than you would have otherwise. Wishing you good luck and peace of mind!!