Anyone with Team Green Experience

Hi Ladies,

I am not pregnant yet. I won't be TTC till August, however, I'm thinking of going team green for my last and final baby. I wanted to hear all your thoughts on this as I found out at my 20 week scan with both my boys. Also, in your honest opinion if I get boy # 3 do you think it will be better to know about it at 20 week scan or if it will be better once the baby is here? I kind of think it will be easier once baby is here because at that point you are just to happy to have the baby in your arms that gender really truly does not matter, however like I said I have never done it before so I was just wondering your thoughts. Thanks.

Hi

I went team green with my first and tbh I felt no different to when DS2 was born and I had found out the sex.

I will be finding out because otherwise I will be wondering through out the whole pregnancy and I do believe that even if you did go green you will still have the Gender disappointment even if just for a few minutes.

I will be finding out at my 20 week scan and if it is another boy then will have another scan so I can enjoy looking at my son because I know if I hear boy at the 20 week my insides will be feeling disappointed. God it sounds terrible actually writing down.

Although going green and getting the sex you wanted would be fab, however I don't want any white or yellow just pink :)
Xxx

I didn't find out with any of my 3 boys. With DS3 though, GD was by far the worst and sadly it lasted a lot longer than a few minutes. I was a complete mess for the first 3 months, and burst into tears every time I saw a little girl and a baby girl was obviously the worst. I couldn't even bring myself to buy him anything new as was just too scared to go into a baby shop and see all of the pretty pink things. I was just so so sad for what I didn't have, especially as DH and I had decided 3 was it.

However, I don't enjoy being pregnant and am not quite sure how I would have coped for the last 20 weeks or so, if I had not had that glimmer of hope that he was pink (even though in my heart I knew he wasn't), so I still think not finding out was the right choice for me.

Two years on and I wouldn't change him for the world. FX you will get your DD but if you don't, 3 boys is great xx

in my opinion it depends on how much you want a daughter (and you need to be honest with yourself). If gd is even a possibility i would find out first, personally i never wanted to greet my babies with anything other than excitement to see them and by number 3 i really wanted a girl. Yes i had gd badly at 20 weeks but i did deal with it and by the time he arrived i was so excited to meet HIM. Team green does seem to work for some people though but i do think if gd is likely it will catch up with you at some point, even if its a few days/weeks down the line. I have also seen a couple of girls suffer with disappointment at birth and feel guilty for it later on as if you have a preference it is hard not to get your hopes up with even longer to think you may get lucky.

For me gd was worst with the third of all of my babies - this one included as for me it really made me face the fact that i may never get a daughter, yes i hit rock bottom but i made it out in one piece with one of the most special little men ever by my side - i went into this one knowing i was not going back there again and if this one was another boy that i would be fine as he would be just as special as his brothers.

I hope you get your dg but if not please know that although it can be a hard road to walk three of a kind is something very special and they do seem to make that third little boy extra sweet to compensate for it - i have heard many moms say that their third little person has an extra special hold over them and my third holds my heart in a way that no one else ever has done; it is hard but it will be ok x

I'm so glad I found out with DS3. I was very sad for a few weeks, a little sad for a few month, an then beyond excited to meet him for the last few months. He had a name since a week or so after I knew, and by birth I had bonded to my little Robbie. Not "just a boy" but MY boy, MY son.

For me finding out was the best thing especially with my 3rd son. As the others said, i had no gd at birth, dealt with in advance so his birth was about my son instead of not getting my longed for daughter. X
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It's a tough one aye. I have never had a surprise and really want to know what it feels like but then if it is a 4th boy I don't want to feel negative at the special time of his first few days. I really don't think I could make the descission until pregnant but reckon I would most likely find out because the not knowing would be eating me alive every day

I've just had my 4th boy and suffered terrible gd through pregnancy with him and ds3 but I can honestly say I dealt with it before birth and had absolutely none at birth even though a small part of me so hoped they'd got it wrong. I think being team green must be wonderful but I would hate the first moments, even weeks to be over shadowed by gd. We was told ds2 was a girl and I did suffer after the birth with him so I would never want to go there again but everyone is so different x

I didn't find out with DS 1 or 2 but I did not have any gender pref. with them (and in fact hoped for a boy with DS 1). I did find out with DS 3 and I'm really glad I did, because the whole time I just "had a feeling" that he was a she and I would have been really upset if I had found out differently. He was a difficult baby and I had some trouble bonding with him as it was and I"m really glad I was prepared. Now he's a really wonderful little boy.

We are team green. I wanted a girl for DS1 but the minute he arrived I forgot all about that. I wanted a girl for DS2 but not that badly. I was slightly disappointed when my hubby announced it was a boy, but when I held him I was fine.

This one I am impatient to know because we swayed. Neither of us cares that much, but I feel more impatient this time wanting to know if the sway worked. I think I want a girl more this time, but we generally decline ultrasounds, so I doubt I will convince my hubby that we should find out before the birth.

I didn't find out on either of my boys! Stayed team green until the end. I am ttc in August and because I am swaying pink I will be finding out at my 20 week scan as will be curious to know. I think to if it was a boy I would have a few months to get my head around it and used to it and be ready to welcome him when he is born

What is team green?

Team green is not finding out the gender of the baby until you give birth

We found out with DS1 and I did have a bit of gender disappointment. I just didn't find the pregnancy nearly as exciting once we knew he was a boy. Once he was born of course it was a totally different story and I couldn't imagine not wanting a boy.

We went team green with DS2 as my preference for a girl wasn't as strong and had no GD when he was born, just fell completely in love with my little man.

We're team green so far with this one as DH really doesn't want to know as he doesn't want to feel GD if its a boy. I may try and find out a bit later in the pregnancy but not sure yet. Like Atomic I 'really' feel like its a girl and no matter how hard I try just can't convince myself it's a boy but don't want to be let down at the birth.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kro428

Team green is not finding out the gender of the baby until you give birth

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oh ok thanks.

I think I'd be way too anxious to wait.

I think you just have to evaluate WHY you want to do team green. If you want to do it for the experience, the fun of the surprise, and because you really believe you will be head-over-heels in love with either gender in the delivery room...do it!

But I think that sometimes people confuse wanting the surprise with wanting the surprise that they WANT. Like the surprise of hearing 'its a girl' and not taking into account how it would affect them, in that moment, if they hear 'it's a boy'. Or they think it would be better to have that "hope" the whole time, without really considering how its going to feel when they find out its not what they wanted.

I think evaluating your own reasons for wanting to do it will give you the answer. We considered team green for our third, but I realized that I wanted time to process and that I wouldn't handle the birthday as well if I was surprised by a third boy. I wanted nothing but excitement. Plus, a very good friend of mine was team green for her third and final baby. She had a amazing birth (her first natural one), but felt that twinge when she heard the midwife say "it's a boy" (their third). And me, I wanted no twinges. I have heard multiple people who still get GD even while looking at their gorgeous new baby. It wasn't a risk I wanted to take.

But we will be team green or our fourth and final. I can say we have no preference and that is worth the experience to me. :)

I think it's better to find out. With DS1 I found out and had terrible GD. Then I had a failed attempt at PGD at HRC, then a miscarriage after that. Then got p with twins and chose to remain team green. Tbh the whole pregnancy was a nightmare. I was constantly dreaming if two girls or bg but in my heart feared two boys and was terrified. I kept thinking I'd wait and then it wouldn't matter - I would love the babies regardless. But when they were born - both boys - I had a terrible shock and wasn't prepared at all. I struggled to bond with them for weeks and even now at five months old, I don't feel close to them. For me team green was a disaster and I believe I should have found out and not been so terribly shocked and disappointed at the birth.

I am 17 weeks pregnant and already have 3 girls we are going team green this time around no more babies after this one. But seems pregnancy is going by faster. :) I'm excited no matter what were having!

Hey hun, I'm planning to stay team green this time around too, I found out with both my boys, DS1 I actually wanted a boy. The reason being is my hubby really wanted our first to be a son, I had a private gender scan at 16 weeks (xmas eve) and didn't tell him about it. I wrapped up an 'its a boy' teddy along side the potty shot and put it under the tree so he found out on xmas day he was having his boy :) with DS2 I also went for a private gender scan at 16 weeks and I was beyond gutted. I was soooo upset and suffered from GD so badly. Now I feel like sh*t for feeling that way at all as he is the best wee dude ever! I read on here that someone was planning to wait till the birth but instead of having the whole 'its a boy' 'its a girl' thing, they were going to have the baby passed to them wrapped up and have time to bond with the baby before having a look down there. I think its a great idea and one that I'm going to go with. I would hate to think that I would feel anything but happy when I'm holding my little bundle. Hugs x

I went team green with DD2. I wanted to experience giving birth and the "its a ..." I was so relieved labour was over and baby was out I don't think i would have cared if it was a cat id just given birth to! I didnt get GD with DD2 but I may have if I had the scan.
BTW it was the LONGEST WAIT OF MY LIFE my pregnancy with DD2 OMG i even rang the u/s place 2 weeks after the twenty week scan and said PLEASE PLEASE ive changed my mind tell me what it is!! They just laughed at me and said that I was welcome to rebook and they would pull out my files, but I was scared DH would find out ( he was determined to be team green) so i declined.
There is no way im doing team green this time!

To me there is no other way. We did not find out the gender either time, nor will we in the future. I was a little bit sad when my second son was born but I didn't even check until after we bonded. I just feel like that's the best way for us personally. I understand wanting to find out right earlier but it just isn't the route I want to take. My husband doesn't care either way. He would be content with 20 boys.