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I am currently 27 and have 3 kids. #1@23, #2@25, and #3@26. I personally do not want to have children past the age of 30. Ideally i would like my last child to be born when i am 29. Just my personal preference for myself. Does anyone else have a cutoff?
I had a cutoff of age 35. Then I had 3 children after that and had my daughter at 42. It wasn't my plan but it was just how it worked out.
I don't personally have a age cut off for me. I am a pre-med student and I want to finish up before I get into medical school.
I don't think I would have any past 32 but I know things can always change but my husband is 10 years older than me so I have to keep his age in mind also...
I am with you I personally don't want to have any more babies after 30. I've always thought I should be done by my 30th bday lol
Most people where i live dont even get started til they are gone 30. my preference was for the smallest possible age difference between first and last babies as apposed to age cut off. So far i have 3 aged 5 and under, hoping to make that 4 aged 6 and under :)
I wasn't ready to have kids that young, so a cut off at age 30 wouldn't have worked for me!
Smart plan!Quote:
Originally Posted by sushikitty
No i didn't have an age cut off but DH did, he didn't want any more kids after 35. Lucky for me he's 35 now and I'm due in October with our last baby. Oh and I'm 34
No cut off age here atm, I do know that I dont want to be having children though when my children are having children, I would just want to concentrate on them when the time comes:)
This is #3 for us due in Dec. and I just turned 26. It will also be our last for sure. I personally didn't want to go past 28 (but that's only because I married at 20, this would have been drastically different if I still wasn't married!)
Life happens. I feel we can control everything in our life such as where we live, our friends, careers, health, religion. But the one thing we can't control is when we find love and actually get married. As for myself, I didn't get married until I was 28 and didn't have my first until I was 32, second at 34 and ttc for a girl at age 37. I never thought I would be having kids this late in my life. For me I feel an ideal age is 27-34. I do have a hard time with people who have children when they are in their late 40's.
My cutoff age was 35. I had one at 29 and one at 31. When I was 34 neither of us wanted another. Now I am 36 and pregnant, and neither of us is ruling out a 4th. It's amazing how you grow as your children grow and how sometimes your plans all change :)
Why??Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful37
Huh? So if someone "can't control" when they find love and that doesn't happen until mid- late 40's, they just shouldn't have kids? Really?Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful37
Or if someone decides to have maybe another child later in life, you have a problem with that? Is it better for the child that he/she is never born?
It may not be your style but having a "problem" sounds very judgmental. I'm sure there are many out there that have a "problem" with you desiring a certain gender. It's really none of their business though, right?!
I'm jumping in because you've struck a chord with me. I am 40 and struggling to conceive my third. My DD is 4 1/2 and my DS just turned 3. The way I read it, you have a hard time...with ME. I don't get it. Like NBP said, this board tries to be non-judgemental, whether over gender preference or high tech. In a nutshell, you have hurt my feelings.
Forgive me here as this doesn't strictly apply to me. Surely women having babies in their 40's in not a recent phenomenon. My grandmother-in-law had her 13th child in her mid-forties. I'm guessing it's been the norm for centuries, especially for large families. I don't see it as a problem at all. Older parents are often a lot more patient, in my experience anyway! I have two friends who had their boys in their early forties.
My own reasons for not having children later on is very specific to my family history. Both my Mum & her sister went through the menopause around 40yrs old and I was terrified that if I left it until my mid-30's, as is more common these days, I might have not conceived very easily - if at all. I was just very lucky to have met dh when I was 18 and ds1 was born when we were 25. I'd like to be finished by 34, so that I can look into fostering once the youngest are in double figures. I'd like one more after this. :D
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I know I'm contradicting myself in a way. When I say late 40's I just think about that child having their parent in while that child is in their 30's. and for that older parent my never get to meet his or her grand kids. I know people are living longer but it is hard to have a parent in their 80's when u are in our 30's.
my husband was a menopause child. His mom had him at 49 and she was just hoping the whole time that see will be alive to see him through high school. She is like, she is still alive at age 82 and her son is 44.
That's all I'm saying. But truly, to each it's own.
Not really, I don't mind but I don't want to wait too long because DP is 16 years my senior (41) and I would not want to have our last child too late because I want him to be around longer to be there for our children and meet as many of his grandchildren as he can.
I'm 25 now and it would be great if I can have my 4th and final in the next few years so my youngest can start school when I am still early 30s. Then I can start the career side of my life 'uninterupted'
I love being pregnant and I wouldn't rule it out for later in life if my circumstances changed (new partner but I like to think that wont be an issue). The sooner the better for me though cos I started young at 21 and feel like I have not had enough time in my life to be selfish so would be great if I could finally travel when the kids are highschool age and older without having to worry about little ones.
I had my first child at 19, my second at 22 and my 3rd at 24. I always thought I was finished. Now, I'm 34 and I want another baby. My issue isn't my age but the age difference between any child I have now and the children I already have. I struggle with "Am I being selfish?" because I want a baby but he/she would be so much younger than the other 3. But I lost my dad to cancer 3 years ago and with that came a realisation that nothing is more important to me than family. As for other people's cutoff? Who are we to judge when a woman feel is the right time to have a baby? A cutoff of 30 may sound good on paper, but in reality, life changes and so do minds.
I know several people who lost their parents at young ages too, though. My niece's mom is only 22 years old and lost her mom when she was 12. My husband's dad just died at 69. My mom, stepmom, and dad are still quite healthy and capable as they approach 70. My hope is that I can give her 25 good years and then let the chips fall where they may.
I do worry about it, esp. since my daughter is my late-in-life child and I know I'm not going to probably be able to be as hands-on for her when she's having babies - but then again, I didn't get much help from my parents when I was younger because they were busy working. Since my mom retired 2 years ago she has a ton more time to do stuff with us than she ever did before.
It makes sense that your personal experience would affect your opinion so I get it. I understand your MIL's worries completely but I guess you are fortunate that he is here no matter how old his mom was when she had him!Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful37
I'm like you, I don't want kids past 30. I'm currently 25. If or when we conceive again it will be our last.
Younger ladies, I just wanted to tell you, there is a lot of living that happens after you turn 30 and you may not want to make permanent life altering decisions that you may come to regret in time. :)
I have had to think about that one because I seriously want abdominoplasty surgery because I dislike my saggy post twin skin pouch and highly dislike my split abs that mean my guts are not held in resulting in a belly no matter how much weight I lose.Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
But to do it you have to be 100 % sure you are done having kids which is why I don't think I can do it. When thinking of having my tubes tied or something I just don't think I could ever be that sure even if I got my girl next pregnancy.
I am also one without a real age cut-off. I want to live without regrets in that regard. I see my aunt deal with it regularly. She had both of her children young and they decided the were done by 25. And to this day (she is 55 now), she regrets not leaving that door open and having a third child. She adores her sons, who are now both married with kids of their own. But she still says she felt like someone was missing their whole lives, that she was meant to have another child.
So in regards to that...no. We won't do anything permanent until I hit an age when reproducing is impossible, which is fairly young in my family (early-40s is typical). We "plan" to have the four we want by the time I am 31. We wanted our kids close in age to one another, not necessarily in a certain age-span for us. If we choose another child or two in the later-30s, I want that option.
I had a cut off for 30 as well!! Unfortunately I lost my last child when I was 29 and my plan didn't go the way I hoped so I am still here waiting for my last at 30 but hopefully I will be pregnant by the time I turn 31 so maybe the last will be born in the 30th year but the way it looks it will be a few months out!! I can handle 6 months here or there lol.
I thought my cut off would be 35 but it didn't happen that way. My husband and I met when we were 19 and got married at 25 then had dd1 at 27 DD2 at 30 and just had DD3 at 36 and I didn't think I wanted four but know I would love Number 4 and I will be 38 soon. So I guess what you plan and what actually happens are two different things. I have also found that I have handled having kids better in my thirties than I did in my twenties. I have also found my two older kids are a great help and very independent. I am more relaxed and organised and enjoy them even more in my thirties. It has also been less stressfull financially. I dont't think it matters how old people are when they have kids as long as they love them to bits and pieces.
I'm almost 27 and my husband is 30. I would think I would want to be done by 35. If this next one isn't a girl we may try one more time but that's it.
I got out of law school at 25 and had my son at 29. I didn't want to go past 35 because of higher risks but I am now 36. I guess life happens when you are making other plans LOL
I will stop when God curses my ovaries with menopause.
My ideal age would be 30ish. Had DS1 at 21, DS 2 at 23. I'm 24 now and I want 5,6 kids. I like the idea that when they're older, I can go out and do things with them and not be limited because I have another baby.
And at the same time, I can't imagine myself ever not having more kids. Maybe I'm naive and Its because I only have two, but I love kids and can't imagine stopping. So if I'm 45 and want another baby and am in good healthy condition well I'm going to have one. I may not be around as long for the last, but I could also die tomorrow and not be there for my two boys. So I'll live for now and love so much it lasts past my time.
the nice thing about starting young and ending old is that you can have a nice guardian just in case something does happen. Our oldest son is the guardian of our little ones in case something happens to us, and I feel really peaceful knowing that he would do a great job with them.