what do you think he meant?!

New here and would LOVE to hear your thoughts.

I have two boys and am pregnant with my third. Had 20 week scan yesterday and basically explained the above VERY clearly to the sonographer that I did NOT want to know the sex of the baby. He was my totally aware of this, telling me to 'look away' from the area etc, even kind of joking about it as we went along. At the very end of the scan he said 'So...DO you want to know the sex?', not in an excited way at all, more a 'final chance' sort of way. I said 'no!' and then minutes later, when there was some other reference to the gender question, he started saying 'you know, three kids are three kids. You will be happy whatever.'

To me, this totally suggests that we are having a third boy, and he was prepping me for the disappointment! What do you guys think? My husband and best friend think I am mad, and he was just making conversation - my husband, if anything, thinks him asking again kind of suggests the opposite.

I feel SO upset to have lost the surprise that this sounds like it's not my DD. I would love to hear what you think...x

Gosh, I know I would be like you and assume he meant 3 boys too but who knows really-maybe he I'd one of 3 boys and got his feelings hurt? People say and do things that usually have nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves.

Thanks nuthinbutpink. It's really hard to know. I would have been so much happier if he had just ended the scan and said 'everything is fine'. Even if he had only asked me again if we wanted to know, I would have been ok. But the 'kids are kids' comment and 'you'll love them whatever' to me sounds like 'awww...never mind'. I posted on another forum and everyone seems to think that he was simply just talking in general terms and it had nothing to do with gender, or if it did mean anything, to ask again if we wanted to know and then keep talking about it means it's a girl!

Arghhh! It's driving me mad! Anyone else got any thoughts?

He could really want you to find out because it is a girl and he wanted to see your excitement. Trying a tactic to convince you to find out.

Ugh! What a jerk. I am sorry but I would prob think the exact same thing that you did. :( I def. got a vibe off my tech at my 12 week ultrasound that she thought it was another boy even though she went out of her way to say that it could still be a girl. I wish I would have just prepared myself then. I wish you the very very best of luck and also peace of mind regardless.

I would think the same . But of course we think this way because we want the other gender . Maybe he wanted to hide this way that it's a girl and for sure you would not think that now? Im sorry he was stupid.

Thanks all. I feel really down. I really just wanted to go through the rest of the pregnancy not knowing, and that any 'preference' would evaporate once I met my lovely baby. I guess I still can't be 100% though, and maybe it's a good way to prepare myself if this IS indeed another boy.

If I'm honest, I have been feeling like this is a girl because my symptoms this pregnancy are so very different to the other two, and my nub shot at 12 weeks was very girlie. So maybe it's a good thing to stop hoping :(

Should say *he* was trying a tactic to convince you.

Can you post the nub shot ?

Trying! How do I attach an image that is saved to my laptop? Can't work it out! xx

Click Reply. Click Go Advanced next to Post Quick Reply and then click on the paperclip looking icon. Browse your system for the image and then insert into post. HTH

here is the nub shot I hope...nub very much in line with base of spine I think...any thoughts? xxx

ps I actually had someone on another forum (not a tech, but was very experienced in predicting nubs) say that she would be incredibly surprised if this turned out to be a boy - the shot was taken at 12 weeks and 3 days... would love to hear what you ladies think also....xx

Looks like a girl to me! Flat and forked! Good luck!

I think I'd definately prepare for boy, I would think exactly what you did. That way if it is a girl (and it really could still be) it will be a fantastic surprise. Try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, good luck!

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Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink

People say and do things that usually have nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves.

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Excellent, excellent observation and so true :agree:

About the nub - it's completely flat, I'd say :ttcgirl:

Instead of thinking & guessing & getting worried why dont you just find out the gender. in that way atleast you can rest in peace for the next 20 weeks.

Looks like a girl to me!

I think your nub looks really girly... and maybe he did want to see your excitement by telling you "girl." I'm not trying to get your hopes up... I really think it looks girly (in my non-expert opinion!). :) I agree... you should find out and not agonize over it the rest of your pg.

That nub looks VERY girly to me!

I would have assumed he meant that you were having another boy. But I read into things a lot. When I was pregnant with my most recent baby, we had a scan at 18 weeks, and we asked to keep the gender a secret. We had a genetic screening (the baby was fine) but we were talking to the genetic counselor about hereditary things, and she specifically said, "Because of your family's genetics, your baby has a higher chance of being color blind. I mean, IF it's a boy." I was totally sure that she slipped up, and told us we were having a boy (which was what I wanted!) but no. We had a girl.

I hope you get your baby girl, and the tech was just tactless.

I would have felt the same as you! BUT he could be being a plain right ASS and who knows what he really saw on the scan hey ;)

To me it sounds more like someone trying to make conversation.... the "you'll love them no matter what" is one of those things people say to each other about kids... I think he meant more like "you don't want to know, I understand, it doesn't matter cuz you'll love him/her regardless..." I honestly would not read anything into it. The nub looks girly though! :)

Thank you all for your lovely replies. It is hopeful that so many of you think the nub looks girlie, though am very aware they can rise in the 12th week, and it's never 100%.

I am pleased that most of you would have jumped to the same conclusion and that I'm not completely crazy to question what the sonographer was getting at towards the end of the scan. It's also great that many of you think the jury is still out, and that I am facing a surprise, which is what I really wanted. I feel that I personally will cope a lot better with a third boy by finding out at the birth than now....so I guess I'll be letting you all know in September!

If anyone has any further thoughts on what he said, or how the nub looks, I'd really appreciate them...thanks again xxx

Nub looks girly!

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Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink

Gosh, I know I would be like you and assume he meant 3 boys too but who knows really-maybe he I'd one of 3 boys and got his feelings hurt? People say and do things that usually have nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves.

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Well put :agree:

I would have jumped to the same conclusion as you. We are so sensitive while pregnant. LOL

I have studied A LOT of nub shots online and yours looks VERY girlie. I would guess grl all the way by looking at it.

Can't wait to hear what you have! Must be so fun to have a surprise baby. :)

First, The nub shot looks girly!

Second, if you had your boys with you and the tech saw them he would have figured you wanted a girl. So he most likely wanted to tell you that. Saying 3 kids... sounds to me like he figures you got your girl so you won't have anymore.

Third, There is alwasy a chance you could have another boy so prepare yourself for either gender.

I hope you get your girl!!!

No one can say for sure what he meant by that comment, but I'm sure it was just that, a comment that was meant to be nice during polite conversation. I don't think he was dropping a hint, but I can totally see where it would be easy to try and read into it.

I think your little nub looks very much like a:XX:

Congrats! Have a happy healthy pregnancy.

Brit op, a friend of mine in exactly the same situation was telling me about a virtually identical situation at her scan, she assumed from th reaction she was having a boy but she had a little girl!

I think he wanted to witness a very happy mama! But, I think he then realized he needed to be vague. I think techs should not make any commentary at all if they are requested to keep gender a secret. I would totally read into it also, but....if it is driving you nuts and you can't deal....maybe just call the office and ask them? They probably record the gender in your file. And the nub does look girlie to me also. GL!