Bad Gender anxiety!

I am having a really hard time lately with anxiety over the gender of this baby. I told myself before I got pregnant that I wanted a boy but that I would be happy no matter what as long as it was healthy. But that is really not turning out to be the case at the moment (I know I sound like a horrible person). I am already envisioning going to get the u/s and hearing girl and just sobbing and having the u/s tech think I am the biggest asshole on the planet. I keep thinking about what more I could have done. Whether I should have not used pre seed since I keep seeing a lot of girls conceived with it. If DH and I being vegetarians sealed our girl fate. If DH had enough swimmers. If me getting sick the day or so after we BD would sway girl because of low immune system. If the super b complex swayed girl. Also EVERYONE I know right now is pregnant with a boy anywhere from 18-39 weeks along. At least 5 people so I am like "Oh crap that means some girls are due." It is really keeping me from being excited about this pregnancy. The pressure is on for us to have a boy. The name dies with my husband. My mother in law and sister in law keep saying its a boy which is adding more pressure. I just don't know. I feel like all of the odds are against me right now. I am really starting to freak out. I just need to know!!!! I really really do not want another girl. I always wanted to be a boy mom. I love DD with all of my heart but I feel like she is it for me. I just honestly do not want another DD. I am starting to wonder if we should have even tried again at all because I am starting to realize I don't think I can handle to disappointment. The amount of girls I know having boys right now is really freaking me out because of the whole nature balance thing. Chinese calendar says girl for me. UUUUgggggh. I am so sorry if this post offends anyone. I know how hard some of you ladies try to even get pregnant and it just happened so easy for me and now here I am being ungrateful. But I can't help it. I feel like DH will always hold a grudge if it's a girl because he didn't even want another baby. I am just consumed with the thoughts of it being a girl. My gut tells me boy but every time I think that it's like my "other gut" is like nope it's a girl and that is all you'll ever have! This waiting for the NT scan may or may not kill me. DH wants to do one of those intelligender tests and I don't think I can handle it. If I pee in that cup and it's orange I think I will just cry and not even want to go to the NT scan.

TTCaPrince, sorry you are feeling this way :( I just wanted to share, though, that MANY of the things you noted that you are nervous about swaying girl definitely helped me sway boy. I was taking super B complex, used preseed, I was sick when I conceived, I was also having very messed up cycles after a D&C and had NO CM at all...and the gender chart told me girl, too, but we found out we are having a boy...just don't give up. Keep your head up, I hope that each passing day brings you more joy.

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, I AM CURRENTLY PREGNANT WITH BABY #3 AND I ALREADY HAVE 2 BOYS. BOTH TIMES I WANTED GIRLS AND RECIEVED BOYS. THEY ARE MY BIGGEST BLESSINGS AND THAT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT THEM. NOW I AM 16 WEEKS ALONG AND OF COURSE ONCE AGAIN I'M JUST DYING FOR MY GIRL. I NEED SOMEONE TO SIT IN THE NAILSHOP WITH ME. I WANT TO SHOP FOR LITTLE DRESSES AND BOWS. I RECIEVED MY 14 WEEK ULTRASOUND AND THE TECH SAID IT WAS TOO EARLY TO TELL THAT I WOULD HAVE TO WAIT TIL I'M 20 WEEKS. THATS A WHOLE MONTH FROM NOW!! I NEED TO KNOW NOW!! I CATCH MYSELF STARRING AT THE U/S PIC ALL DAY TRYING TO SEE IF THE LITTLE NUB IS A LITTLE TWINKER OR A LITTLE STAR. I TOLD MYSELF THAT IF IT WAS ANOTHOR BOY I DON'T WANT A BABYSHOWER OR ANYTHING. I DON'T WANT ANYONE IN THE ROOM WITH ME OR NOTHING. I KNOW I SOUND LIKE A BAD PERSON BUT I JUST NEED MY LITTLE GIRL. I PRAY EVERY DAY FOR MY LITTLE PRINCESS AND HOPE MY PRAYERS COME TRUE. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THE WHOLE ANXIETY THING I'M GOING THROUGH IT TOO LOL.

MommyTuBe#3 Praying for my little girl!!

You're not a horrible person at all! We've all been there at least once. It will get better once you know, at least you can either cry of joy for a boy or make your peace and start loving your new little girl. We all like to say all we want is a healthy baby, BUT, we always keep our fingers crossed and anticipate the elation of our desired gender. It never came true to me, twice I expected to hear 'it's a girl' but every single time it's been 'boy' and I assure you I wouldn't change them for anything in the world. Good luck and I hope you get your boy.

TTCaPRINCE, I feel for you right now , don't feel bad at all about how you feel, because you can't help how you feel you are just being honest.:happy: I have felt all of the things you talking about in your post , & at the moment keep thinking the same thing I don't want another girl I have FIVE already that sounds so bad to say out loud & I am ready to give up on my sway
When you start getting up there in the numbers of one gender in your family it's really hard to think it's going to happen for you(me).
Try to stay positive:happy: keep smiling :happy: :fx: you have your little man onboard.

You're definitely not a horrible person and you're not alone. I've also been trying to prepare myself in case I hear the gender I don't want and I get sad and anxious just at the thought if it. I really hope you hear boy

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Originally Posted by onthepond

TTCaPrince, sorry you are feeling this way :( I just wanted to share, though, that MANY of the things you noted that you are nervous about swaying girl definitely helped me sway boy. I was taking super B complex, used preseed, I was sick when I conceived, I was also having very messed up cycles after a D&C and had NO CM at all...and the gender chart told me girl, too, but we found out we are having a boy...just don't give up. Keep your head up, I hope that each passing day brings you more joy.

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Thank you for sharing that. I hope those things we have in common are in my favor. I just keep going over everything in my head. The thing that is bothering me the most is the amount of women I know pregnant with boys right now so many months ahead of me. Like I should have done this months ago for sure fire shot or something ridiculous like that. Thank you I hope everyday gets better for me. Today is a little better. Last night I just sobbed. Last night was my hardest night so far.

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Originally Posted by MommyTuBe#3

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, I AM CURRENTLY PREGNANT WITH BABY #3 AND I ALREADY HAVE 2 BOYS. BOTH TIMES I WANTED GIRLS AND RECIEVED BOYS. THEY ARE MY BIGGEST BLESSINGS AND THAT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT THEM. NOW I AM 16 WEEKS ALONG AND OF COURSE ONCE AGAIN I'M JUST DYING FOR MY GIRL. I NEED SOMEONE TO SIT IN THE NAILSHOP WITH ME. I WANT TO SHOP FOR LITTLE DRESSES AND BOWS. I RECIEVED MY 14 WEEK ULTRASOUND AND THE TECH SAID IT WAS TOO EARLY TO TELL THAT I WOULD HAVE TO WAIT TIL I'M 20 WEEKS. THATS A WHOLE MONTH FROM NOW!! I NEED TO KNOW NOW!! I CATCH MYSELF STARRING AT THE U/S PIC ALL DAY TRYING TO SEE IF THE LITTLE NUB IS A LITTLE TWINKER OR A LITTLE STAR. I TOLD MYSELF THAT IF IT WAS ANOTHOR BOY I DON'T WANT A BABYSHOWER OR ANYTHING. I DON'T WANT ANYONE IN THE ROOM WITH ME OR NOTHING. I KNOW I SOUND LIKE A BAD PERSON BUT I JUST NEED MY LITTLE GIRL. I PRAY EVERY DAY FOR MY LITTLE PRINCESS AND HOPE MY PRAYERS COME TRUE. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THE WHOLE ANXIETY THING I'M GOING THROUGH IT TOO LOL.

MommyTuBe#3 Praying for my little girl!!

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I know the feeling. When I had DD I wanted a boy. Now she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But I NEED a son. I know if I don't get him my life will just feel like it is missing something.

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Originally Posted by aidansmum

You're not a horrible person at all! We've all been there at least once. It will get better once you know, at least you can either cry of joy for a boy or make your peace and start loving your new little girl. We all like to say all we want is a healthy baby, BUT, we always keep our fingers crossed and anticipate the elation of our desired gender. It never came true to me, twice I expected to hear 'it's a girl' but every single time it's been 'boy' and I assure you I wouldn't change them for anything in the world. Good luck and I hope you get your boy.

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Thank you! I feel like a horrible person. My husband keeps telling me what is done is done and I need to be greatful to God that it even happened for us. Which I know he is right. But I just feel so bad because he didn't even want another one. I talked him into it with all of this swaying stuff and though he would never admit it I feel like he will be a little bitter with me if this turns out to be another girl. He was perfectly fine with just having DD. He loves her so much. Thank you for understanding I hope this is my boy too.

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Originally Posted by Five Beautiful Girls

TTCaPRINCE, I feel for you right now , don't feel bad at all about how you feel, because you can't help how you feel you are just being honest.:happy: I have felt all of the things you talking about in your post , & at the moment keep thinking the same thing I don't want another girl I have FIVE already that sounds so bad to say out loud & I am ready to give up on my sway
When you start getting up there in the numbers of one gender in your family it's really hard to think it's going to happen for you(me).
Try to stay positive:happy: keep smiling :happy: :fx: you have your little man onboard.

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Thank you! I hope he is on board too! I can imagine your anxiety is higher than mine! I just NEED my boy. It sounds weird but I feel him being a part of my life but it feels like it is never going to happen. Which makes it 10x harder.

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Originally Posted by gurly

You're definitely not a horrible person and you're not alone. I've also been trying to prepare myself in case I hear the gender I don't want and I get sad and anxious just at the thought if it. I really hope you hear boy

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Thank you! I hope I hear boy too! And I hope you hear your DG. I keep trying to prepare myself and it is just so hard.

Well, we are all on this website for the same reason. Its still early days for you, and even if you hear boy I don't think its bad to prepare yourself for the chance it might not be a boy, it might even help you cope if it IS a girl. As for your husband, I highly doubt he will feel bitter towards you if its a girl - Any one of us know that all we can do is up our chances of conceiving our DG and I'm sure your husband knows this too!

I do get the gut feeling though - I have a feeling this ones a girl, on every scan I've thought "its a girl" - I've never been wrong yet, but every time I stop myself and think "no its a boy" (I got two boys already). This is defo our last one, my body can't cope with another pregnancy and I will be sterilised at the same time as baby is delivered (c-section).

I think what you got to try to remember is that hormones play SUCH a massive role at this early stage and it does slightly change how you react and think about things.

I won't lie. When I was expecting DS2 I knew in my gut it was a boy. At the scan I even saw the 'crown jewels' and my heart just sank. I was up and down on a roller coaster all pregnancy and kept saying "the scan might have been wrong and out will come a girl". He of course came out a boy, as I knew he would. I was absolutely high as a kite on entonox so I didn't recognise him as my child at first, but once it wore off and I sat with him, just looking at him - I actually felt ashamed at having 'not wanted him'. The same warmth and love swept over me, as it had the first time, and from that moment on I have never felt a moments sadness of having a second boy.

My OH didn't want anymore kids, so I settled into being a mum of two boys and I've grown to love it. I firmly believe that if you want to, you can make every disappointment into a positive and I actually laugh at myself now thinking about how I reacted to DS2. This is what I hold on to when the gender fear creeps in on me - the fact that DS2 is my absolute pride and joy despite me being disappointed to begin with and if we have a third son, he will be as precious and loved and wished for and wanted as his brothers!

I know EXACTLY how you feel. We all do. I am having such a hard time this time around. I keep having dreams that it's a boy but I keep telling myself not to get my hopes cause if I was far enough along right now to be told gender and a tech said boy I still don't think I would believe it. Even if I saw it for myself. Now my anxiety about it is even worse than before because my husband's cousin on his side of the family is due April 6th and I am due April 25th. I am now so scared that she will have a boy and I will have a girl. The worst part is everyone is basically looking to me and my husband to have a boy because unless DH and I have to have a boy or his brother had to have a boy or the last name of the family dies out after 100's of years. That's not the reason why I want to have a boy but that is the rest of my husband's families feelings. Right now gender is all I think about. Non-stop. I knoe I will love this baby if it's a girl. That's not my problem. The issue I am having is the scary reality that I might never have a boy. This is our last baby. If this baby is a girl I am going to dread Christmas. Especially if his cousin finds out she's having a boy. I might even try to find some way of staying home instead of going. I just feel like I'm going to lose it. You are not alone.

Good luck...sending you blue dust!:DS::DS::DS::DS:

Best, best wishes for your boy!! Your feelings are completely normal (I know from the opposite side!) and there's no doubt that your DH will equally adore whatever child arrives and certainly won't resent you for that regardless....sorry this is so stressful!! I'm sending you lots of my boy dust. I so long for a girl; I understand you saying it's a needed piece of your life!