It seems very odd to me that there is no info about things our partners could be doing (other than frequent release and hot showers) to increase our chances of having little girls....especially when it is the sperm that determines gender....
Is there anything he should be eating or avoiding...I heard almonds, gatorade, sweets (dessert) and less salt.....
Why is this so confusing adn so hard? ARGH!!!!:tissue::hair:
Well, I"m just one person and can only do so much. So I tend to focus on the things that matter most. I think that what DW matters by far more than DH and also the lion's share of DH's are not supereager to help with swaying anyway, thus I focus more time (ya know, away from my children and stuff, working on a forum that is FREE) on what DW can do. Personally I think it's odd when people get snippy with me over a service that I have spent thousands of hours doing 90% free of charge for no other reason than I want you guys to get your DG, so...yeah. Hopefully this is one of those "internet tone misunderstandings" and if so I apologize in advance, I'm a human being with feelings too and sometimes I have bad days here and there and this is apparently one of them.
Re the sperm deciding gender, yes and no. The fact is that men make 50-50 X and Y sperm and yet for reasons no one knows, those sperm go onto make boys 140-160 for every 100 girls. Logic seems to indicate that something in the woman's body is selecting gender and this is borne out by many, many studies in animals and the predictions of the Trivers Willard Hypothesis.
Think of it this way - you have to carry a baby and breastfeed it for at least 9 months (in nature) and then the offspring in all mammals stay with the mothers in their environment. Males can do a "hit and run" where they show up for the conception of the baby and then take a powder and are never seen again. If swaying is a real thing, it happens for a reason, and that reason is that boys need more nutrients from the moment of their conception on thru their entire lives than girls do. Because of this, if their mother doesn't ahve enough nutrients, she is better off having a girl who needs less, than she is a boy who may need more.
The reason why there isn't a long laundry list of stuff for dudes to do is because what you do matters way, way more than what someone who is in essence a "sperm donor" does. (yes, most dads are very hands on but they don't HAVE to be and in our mammal ancestors, they aren't - females are the one who grow,feed, and raise the baby and thus their environment matters more). And even more importantly, the cardinal rule of swaying is, "if daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". Women get so insane about making their husbands do all this stuff for swaying, and it is not unusual at all to have guys who refuse to do anything at all. The more you push on DH, oftentimes he will rebel and refuse to do anything (some husbands get so fed up that they will not even TTC anymore), so it's best to pick your battles and limit his part to the minimum - the stuff that is the most effective for the least amount of effort.
In my signature there is a link to the Complete Index which does have a variety of things that DH can do for swaying. I would not recommend anything on your list.
atomic- I think when people talk about the webiste they forget that their is an actual real person on the other end. But I think their is a lot of posts here about what dh can do foods and supps. :)
Thanks for all you do:)
look through this section stuff ofr dh and dw and a whole one on supps for dh :)
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...est-practices/
If you are finding it all too confusing and you're not interested in reading all the articles...why not have Atomic do a personalized plan? Less frustration for EVERYONE.
Sorry, I was not having a go at you...The more I read, the more confused I get!!!
I am not quite at the actual trying stage yet (it has been pushed back a few more months, so I'm still just researching and hoping my cycle becomes normal), but certainly considering the personalised plan...
Thanks for your help! ;-)
I didn't take your post that way. I think swaying is hard. It can be confusing and everyone just wants to give it their best shot. Certainly both partners play a role but from a research perspective, we write about and recommend what we know scientifically to be true. The female has a lot to do with determining gender. That we know! So, lots of what you will read is about just that. Your DH does play a role(of course) but we know that ALL men make sperm of each gender 50/50. So, what you read about is how to compensate based on that scientific fact!Quote:
Originally Posted by ficus
People here are happy to help and answer questions. The plans are great and do take into account both the make and female role in all of this.
Good luck with your sway!
I have heard that the ovulation method works and even from midwives.Some of my friends used a book called getting the sex you want the natural way,or something along those lines and they swear that works either that or just pure luck they got the sex they wanted.
Goodluck!
OK I'm sorry, thanks for clarifying. You don't need to buy a personal plan to get the info, it's all free and here for everyone and I'm always happy to answer questions, so if you have a specific question please just let me know and I will answer.Quote:
Originally Posted by ficus
thank you....I think when we get closer to trying I will get a personalized plan, just because I'm getting confused by some conflicting info (stupid internet!!!) ;-)
I think I'm getting my head around it though...I just wish there was a magic pill!!! ;-)
the info only conflicts because there is no way to know some of this stuff - we just don't have the data to know for sure. So you ahve to go with what your gut and heart tell you to do and what makes the most sense to you. :)
I think recommendations have changed a bit over time as we get new studies/research/information.. so that's probably why some things seem to clash. Some researchers come up with theories as to why their results seem to show one thing (such as Shettles assuming it was because X and Y sperm are different speeds etc) and then future studies find out more information and can support or disprove that, and provide their own theories too. That's why we now discredit timing, and all the diets do seem to sway just for slightly different reasons so although those may seem to conflict too they are all actually doing the same sort of thing (reducing food intake and variety) just the specifics that vary. The more you read, the more it starts to fall into place. HTH
:agree: also, if you look at a study WITHOUT assuming certain "truisms", as in we know that X and Y sperm are equally hearty, swim the same speed, and live the same amount of time, then the conclusions that you draw are not going to be the same as someone who just accepts that as gospel truth.