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Just wondering what it was like when you gave birth and realised you didn't have your desired gender? Were you disappointed,extremely upset or quite content just to marvel at your brand new baby and it didn't matter? I guess I'm so scared of what my reaction will be like and really want to be happy on the day. Thank you all xxx
My third dd wasn't my dg, but when she was born, I forgot about wanting a boy totally, until I was taken to my room and was sharing with a lady and her new born baby boy & then I got sad real quick, but it didn't take me too long to realise just how lucky I was to have such a beautiful healthy baby in my arms & just to see how happy my older two dd's were when they came to visit their baby sister.
Oops sorry didn't read it properly, I wasn't team green though!
Thanks 3 little ladies, your post is still helpful :-) I have just booked my 19 week scan today and I'm so unsure as to what would be best for me. If i find out i risk being down for another 20 weeks if i hear it's a boy. On the other hand i really don't want that deflated feeling or depression at birth, I'm so confused wish it were an easy decision! Both my boys were surprises and i didn't feel gd at their births, it came on a bit later for me. So maybe i have my answer already and stay team green because more than likely i will be totally besotted with another blue bundle!
dreamingofeden, it is a tough decision because when I found out at my 20wk u/s I was devastated and then couldn't enjoy the rest of my pregnancy, which I totally regret now, but I have forgiven myself because that's how I was feeling at the time.
Yes I think you've given yourself your answer!
Gender disappointment really sux, Im not in that horrible place anymore but my desire for a boy is still very much with me grrrr
I hope this is another girl for you!
And i hope you get your little guy hun! I would've loved all girls like you, being one of 3 girls myself growing up i loved it:-) But i think i would've longed for a ds to experience the opposite gender just like yourself xxx
I really want to go team green next time because I have never experienced a surprise at birth and want to know what it is like. Everyone tells me you shouldn't when you have your heart set on a particular gender but I don't see how I could feel sad when I look at my beautiful newborn. To risk it though? I want to enjoy my last pregnancy too and I hated the way I felt after my 16 week scan when I found out both my twins were boys.
Not so long ago I came across this comment on a thread on a baby site
"THEN, my midwife told me this gorgeous story about one of her clients who wanted to ensure she could bond with her baby, irregardless of the gender. She instructed the midwife to put a nappy on the baby as soon as it was born so that she could cuddle/ love / bf the baby for a few hours before ever knowing the gender. I kept imagining how beautiful it would be to love a child for a few short hours with absolutely no gendered expectations."
I had thought of not looking for a few minutes but I had never thought of this and would love to do it now
That is such a great idea ^!! Wow i wonder how a person could do it, I would just wanna know straight away and unwrap that nappy lol! Having had 2 surprises at birth it really is quite beautiful and special,would highly recommend it if you've never experienced it :-)
I have not and would love to know what it feels like. I wanted to know with our first but with the second wanted to have a surprise but when I found out it was twins I wanted to get as organised as possible!
I don't blame you i would really want to know gender if i was having twins! A big part of me also wants to find out this time just so i can be organised and sort out rooms etc :-) When were your twins born? My baby boy was born July last year.
Thanks dreamingofeden but im done, my third dd is our last so I guess its son in laws & hopefully grandsons for me!Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamingofeden
I totally get what you're saying about a great childhood, cause im one of four girls! Yes you probably would want a son if you only had girls, thats my reason why I'd want a son just to experience the opposite gender.
I didn't find out with my first and I wish that I had. When he was born the first thing I did was look to see if he was a girl or boy. I didn't even look at his face, or see if he had all his fingers or toes. I was disappointed at first and it was terrible knowing everyone in that room could see the smile vanish from my face.
With my second I found out at 20wks and at his birth I looked him straight in his adorable little face. I kissed his little fingers and toes and knew I loved him at that second.
I'm finding out with this one as well because I want the birth to focus on my baby as he is, and not his gender. Having the last 20 weeks to come to terms is so much easier than trying to fake it in front of the doctors, nurses, and family members.
They were due in July but born 2nd of June at 35 weeks. It is common for twins to be early but they were pretty big and healthy. I feel so lucky and try to focus on that. I am loving this age, they are so cute!
Althoguh I am planning another there is still a chance it wont happen due to just not having enough money to support another child. We both want one more but will have to wait and see
Eden I am team green this time. I found out with all my boys, was over the moon with my first son but the other two was disappointed. With DS3 I felt so numb but when he was born I loved him so much.
I'm so at a loss now. My 20 week scan is on Thursday and apparently they now ask gender here which they never did before (you had to book a private scan). I still think I should go team green but I am worried I'll feel disappointment at birth.
Told dh not to let me fold at scan!
I have noticed your signature and may be in your position in time. Stay strong not to find out. If you want to know what it's like to have a surprise and you fold then you might be quite disappointed in yourself especially if it's your last one. Goodluck. I really really hope you get your surprise baby girlQuote:
Originally Posted by Waiting4Daisy
I really wish I had stayed Team Green. Hating this pregnancy now. All the sickness etc just seems pointless.
I know once I saw DS2 in the delivery room I fell in love despite wanting him to be a girl so can't imagine I wouldn't have done the same again. Instead I've got to fake it for the rest if the pregnancy until I see my little man.
Was really planning on staying Team Green but caved at the scan!
Sorry to hear this :( Thanks for sharing though. You have given me more strength not to cave at the scan myself. I hope I do not cave. I hope you feel better soonQuote:
Originally Posted by Mabel_79
123 - I don't know how I missed you were pregnant! Congrats!! Awesome news. I stayed team green and can tell you, for me, the emotions leading up to the 20 week scan were MUCH greater than afterward. I was so conflicted, writing pro/con lists, and went in sure I'd have to find out b/c my DH wanted to know. But then I realized I didn't HAVE to learn then. I could wait another day. And then after a day I realized I could wait a week. And then after that it got much much easier. I LOVED being team green - I loved being able to honestly tell people I didn't know what I'm having 'and don't care' with a confident (and genuine-looking!) smile on my face. And as the months went by, I realized I meant what I said.
I did have a boy as DS2 but I'd prepared myself well for that, as I was 95% sure I was having a boy. (I thought I might have sight of something during the 20 week scan despite trying hard to keep eyes averted. Plus I'd had a feeling for a long while - before even being pregnant - that I was going to have a boy!).
I felt a little sadness in the weeks after after as I was sure at the time it was my last child, (He may well still be). But it was MUCH MUCH easier to love my pregnancy, to truly enjoy it, to not regret when I was so pumped full of preggo hormones.. The bit of sadness after didn't affect my bonding with my beautiful boy who is the world's most happy baby, a total delight.
Just tell yourself to stay team green during the 20 week scan and then see how you feel after a week. You can always alway learn later. But once you know for sure, you can't unlearn.
Thankyou all for your responses, we had the scan yesterday and found out its boy number 3 for us. Im not as sad as I thought I would be but have had a few bouts of tears, I think its the shock more than anything as I truly thought it would be a girl. We told tech we didnt want to know then 15 mins in I had a change of heart. It was quite scary at one point because the tech couldnt find all 4 heart chambers so had me go out for 10 mins and come back in, was concerned for our little bubs health. Lucky all is ok but have to go back at 24 weeks to double check. Im sad my dd wont have a sister but so glad my little ds will be close to his little brother, have never experienced having 2 of the same sex close together. Im so glad we found out now as I feel at peace and can bond with this baby and the obsessing over gender and old wives tales was causing a lot of anxiety and stress.
Congratulations on a healthy boy! Glad all is well and your coming to term with it.