That you've kind of lost who you are/were as a mom? Because now that you're "mom" it just takes over? I find myself referring to myself as "julie's mom" in emails and not even using my name anymore.
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That you've kind of lost who you are/were as a mom? Because now that you're "mom" it just takes over? I find myself referring to myself as "julie's mom" in emails and not even using my name anymore.
I never felt like this until I had 3 kids,but I only felt it slightly. Now that I have 4, and the youngest is at a demanding age (19 months), I feel it all the time.
I never WAS anyone until I was a mom...I'm actually scared of what may happen when my kids are grown and gone away. I don't think there's anything else inside of me!!!
pfffffft. You are not just a mom. In fact, I don't really know you as a mom at all. Just as atomic. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
But yes, I do know the feeling. I sometimes feel my identity was swallowed up the moment I had my ds.
Atomic, I love family and I never want my kids to leave the state we live in EVER but I do look forward to when it is just my DH and I. I think it is the lack of freedom that bothers me and makes me feel down.
And a SAHM job is tough...I wouldn't want to work and have to get the kids out the door and be a super mom b/c that is a different kind of hard but being at home with little ones is tough.
I've been raising kids since I was 10 years old, first my little brother and sister, then I was at college for 2 years and got pg with DS 1, raised my older boys, and now am starting all over again at middle age with my little boys...I don't know who I am without a child puttering around somewhere!!! ;)
Everyday. I don't know who 'I' am anymore.
Yes I don't feel like myself anymore. It was better when I was working but we moved and now I can't find a job so I'm a sahm. I feel boring and bored.
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Yes all the time.
Yes, I'm pretty much just a mom, and my job. Those 2 things take up about 98% of my time.
Me. I am just starting back at work after having my DS in Sept. and that helps me feel a little more like I have an identity. Getting 3 off to daycare in the am is going to totally suck though. First day is Monday :(
TnT, that would be hard. I guess you have to do a lot of prep the night before. I hope it goes okay. Once you get into a routine, I'm sure it will be okay.
yep me too, I often take a look at myself in the mirror and wonder when I will regain the me that wore makeup and didn't always tie my hair up, I am just mum and not much else I feel I dont evven do a good job at being a wife !
Exactly!!Quote:
Originally Posted by threelittlemenandcounting
I feel like I am just mum. DS is a VERY fussy baby I cant even put him down for two seconds and he wakes up at least twice a night on a good day. I dont feel comfortable leaving him with anyone so me an DP can go out for couple of hours because I dont think its fair on them since he is so fussy. Im hoping things will improve as he gets older. For now though make up, nice hair, meals out, hobbies are all on hold! And I want to tyr for another one later in the year....perhaps im crazy!!
My entire life is arranging babysitting for my younger kids, going to the pediatrician, trying to get them to listen, trying to drink coffee in peace.
I never talk on the phone because they all fight if I do.
I am definately not the person I was.
I have left a lot of interests behind since I became a mother, but I still feel plenty accomplished as a woman. Firstly, I run two websites and I get a lot of satisfaction from those. There are times I feel like I don't get to spend enough time working on projects for them, and that can frustrate me... feeling like I'm "getting nothing done."
But, in general, when I look at my children I think that the most important thing for me is to raise them up into good people. I mean really, when I look at all my hopes, dreams, and goals, my biggest one is to raise my children up the right way - for them to be independent, self-sufficient, responsible, good people. If I can get each of them to adulthood in that way, I will have accomplished more than my business ever will, even if it makes us millions.
Investing my days in a little soul is the most worthy endeavor ever - period. So being "just a mom" is a vast understatement, and especially so in a society like ours that only values women if they're balancing work and family perfectly.
I remind myself of this when I feel frustrated and no matter how crummy I feel, I always feel the truth of it. Being a mom is far more important than the things I left behind :)
Since having dd I feel this way. My boys were 7 and 10 while I was pg with dd. I totally had my life back and did as I pleased. Now that dd is here I am that woman who never seems to be showered or looks even remotely rested. I live in yoga pants and baseball hats and am thrilled to shave my legs once every 2 weeks, lol. I don't have an identity beyond being a newborn's mom.
I however wouldn't have it any other way, and feel VERY blessed to have gotten pg with her and have her in my life.