going from 2-3

I'm just curious what people's experience was going from 2 children to 3 children. I've been warned it's a toughie (possibly harder than going from 1-2 apparently).

My sons are 6 and 3.5 and I'm intimidated to add another (though actively doing LE and TTC'ing). I'm also concerned about middle child syndrome.

I was hoping some of you would consider sharing your experiences with me :)

I am the oldest of 3 and my sister (the middle) says she dealt with it (though I'm dubious because there is 6 years between her and I and 8 years between her and the youngest, my brother).

Anyway, thanks in advance :)
Angie

I found 1-2 harder, emotionally, it felt like I took on a family at that point whereas before that it was me and my buddy ds1 hanging out and having fun! 2-3 for me was only tough because my ds3 had terrible colic, but it wasn't as much of a shock to the system as going from 1-2! I think the age of your kids helps. I have a 3yr3mth, 4yr3mth and by November 3yr5mth age gaps. My eldest 2 are quite independent and can get snacks, help out with the littlest man. I'm still nervous tho! Never imagined being a mum of 4!! You'll be fine! Xx


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I heard the opposite, like going form 1 to 2 was harder than going from 2 to 3! I am hoping that's true because baby #3 is due in August!

It depends on the temperament of number 3. Easy baby, easy transition. As long as your older 2 aren't babies themselves- ie in diapers, etc!

I didn't find it difficult at all, but.... my middle child...is a brat now. We are hoping adding another child will "cure" him. hahaha

I'm curious to hear what you all have to say about this, too. I do feel like 2 is much easier than one, which is maybe not how many parents experience it, but my two play together well and often, and generally keep each other happy and entertained (if not out of trouble). I find that DD#2 can be a handful when I'm alone with her all day, but is much more interested in being with her sister than having my attention when both girls are around.

So if two are easier than one, of course I've always wanted three! We'll see how it works out when DD#3 gets here (if all goes well :fingers:). I do feel really lucky to have two who generally get along well and spend lots of time together, and it will be interesting to see if having another changes this dynamic.
Mine are pretty widely spaced, too--not necessarily my choice, but just how it worked out.

I have recently had a third baby and I found the transition quite easy. In saying that, she is an amazing baby and I cannot believe how blessed I am. She is such a great kid, I am considering having #4!

I haven't found 1-2 or 2-3 more difficult. For me it was #1 that rocked my world. Now that I am in Mommy mode it doesn't seem as difficult to add another as #1 was.

We went from 2 to 4 cause we had twins but I didn't find it hard at all. And having six, we don't have middle child syndrome but I do find sometimes DS2 feels left out as he isn't the eldest or one of the youngest and he isn't a twin, and he is really easy, but him and I are very close. I was more worried about going from 1 to 2 and thought I wouldn't love a second child as much as I loved our first...of course it was unwarranted worry as a mums love multiplies!! 😊💜

Interesting! My 2 constantly fight (though when they do play nicely, it's like heaven). Maybe because they're both boys they are more wrestly and hands on? It is possible that people were trying to scare me out of a third ;) the whole kids outnumber the parents thing, I guess. My second son is prone to tantrums when he hears the word no but when he's alone, the difference in him is amazing. He is well behaved and quiet. Put him with his brother/other children he is a maniac!!! On top of the fact that he doesn't appear to need sleep....

I always wanted 4 (even numbers, no middle child) but hubby is NOT having any of that. Took this long to convince him a third wouldn't be the end of the world. He has also said if he knew what it would be like, he wouldn't have had any :( He follows that up saying he loves them and wouldn't change them now that we have them but if he knew beforehand, he would have choosen not to have children (he was never around children, never even held a baby until he was 19/20).

I appreciate your responses. Makes me feel a little better about increasing my family to 5!

Angie

P.S. I'd never tell my husband, but if I got pregnant with twins, I'd be over the moon (his brother had 2 boys and then his wife got pregnant with twin boys). But if I even whisper the word twins, he tells me the baby making factory is closed!

My eldest is 3 and three quarters, middle is 18 months and number three is just 3 months old. I've found going from two to three a breeze, much easier than one to two! And all mine are little.

I found going from 1-2 way harder than 2-3. My first two are 17 months apart so that could be why. So when I had my 3rd my first two were 5 and 6 so they help me out a ton.

1 to 2 was a total disaster for us. DD1 was so well behaved and mild tempered and DD2 was and still is a total hell raiser lol! It was a total shock to our systems to go from a 1 angel to 1 jealous 18mth old and a collicky newborn. Our girls should be around 5 & 4 by the time we have another (so long as we get blessed with a BFP and sticky bean soon) so I'm really hoping it'll be an easier transition.

We are still in the transition of going from 1-2, it is hard some days when both are crying for me (DS1 is 26 months, DS2 is 3 months) but I swear NOTHING could be like going from 0-1!!!! It was an eye opener to say the least! Hoping 2-3 will be ok as we hope to add #3 next year and with any luck I'll convince DH that 4 is the magic number shortly thereafter ;) Only two of us in my family but DH comes from a family of 9, I'm all for expansion while he wants to keep "the brood" to a minimum! Funnily enough for someone who felt overwhelmed having #1 I seem addicted to having babies now lol.

It's funny as most people I talk to with 3 or more say that 2-3 was a very easy transition.
When my 3rd arrived I had a 4 and 2 year old and number 3 just slotted right in with everything else going on (as has number 4)
The hardest change for me was going from 1 to 2 but that may have been as I suffered with depression after my second and felt he was taking away from my eldest, and also he was a more difficult baby, cried constantly, didn't sleep.
Ds2 doesn't seem to have had any 'middle child' issues. Although he had almost 4 years of being a middle child. He turned 6 the week before ds4 arrived.


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I have twin brothers just 13 months younger than me, and the idea that my mum went from one to three in one jump, and 3 under 14 months at that, is just plain scary! That being said, I'd love to go from 4-6 lol


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Funny you say that motherofboys, I would love to go from 2-4! DH wouldn't know what hit him lol. I think, like you, the reason I feel 0-1 was harder is cause I suffered depression after DS1. So far so good this time though!

I was fortunate enough to not suffer with depression after ds3 or so far with ds4 (6 month) which was a particular worry for me as it was my first experience of gender disappointment, so I thought perhaps the GD would set if the depression again, but touch wood everything has been ok


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I think it is a really good point to take into account the temperament of your current children as it will make a big difference!! Both DS1 and DS2 love having more siblings. DS1 behavior actually got much better when DS2 was born. I think he was bored with Mom:) It is like DS1 was born to be a big brother. DS2 also loves having a little sister and being a big brother. They both love talking to her and playing with her and feeding her.

DS1 actually said to me the other day (my kids don't know I am PG) that DD is HIS sister and that DS2 needs a sister too. So with DS2 standing there I asked him if he would like another sister and he said yes. Little do they know they will be getting one:)

That's so cute, wantingpink!

I have 2 boys and your last post sounds exactly like my story!!!! When my boys fight my hubby reckons 2 is enough!!!! Haha. I have him on board but originally he only wanted 1 or none.

I found 2 to 3 the hardest,, my oldest two are 11 months apart and very close, they love each others company. There is 2 yrs between my youngest and middle munch. I think what made it harder for us is my middle little boy has Autism and is non verbal so there's an extra set of challenges to face as well as the usual 'growing up'.

ratcliffe, just wanted to say I love your profile pic! Your kids are so cute!! 😊❤️

Awww thank you :happy: Thankfully they get their looks off their daddy's side

I actually find each transition to be easier as we progress (although I guess #4 could throw me throug a loop!). I had a difficult time adjusting to #1. He was a surprise pregnancy and a HARD baby. I felt shell shocked for a good year after he came along. When #2 came along (22mo gap), I was surprised that it was much easier than I anticipated. My older boy was mellowing, even though he did have a bad case of the "jealousies" with the baby (2-3 weeks worth). And then it got even easier as they began interacting and engaging with one another. They are 4.5 and 2.5 now and they do love to fight. It's about 50% fighting and 50% playing right now. But when they play, it's adorable. They really do love each other. My older boy almost needs his brother. His brother is so much more outgoing and fearless and it has helped my older son come out of his shell and try new things. #2 was a "moderate" baby. Not a sleeper, not terribly content....but no acid reflux or hours-long screaming sessions, so he felt easier to me.

Number three joined us a year ago (19mo after #2) and I was amazed how easy the transition was. My boys loved her immediately and my middle guy was so easygoing about not being the baby anymore. He has a special role in our house because he is my snuggly guy. He is the most like me and he is SOOOO endearing. So his personality helps keep middle child issues at bay. He is a chill kid and is hilarious, so I know he gets tons of attention simply by being himself. I do have to make an effort to spend one-on-one time with him, since he is so easy and chill. But a little goes a long way. He doesn't seem to be suffering. And my baby was my easiest baby so far. So I am sure that helped matters. She slept fairly well and was content to be placed somewhere for a spell of time before needing attention again (as long as she was fed and changed).

But I do find the interaction between three is even cooler than between two. Because they all play together, or they pair off when someone is feeling grouchy. I am also one of three (similar dynamics, in reverse: girl, boy, boy instead of boy, boy, girl) and I enjoyed it. I am obviously the oldest. But my middle brother has a specific role in the family too and I don't think he would say he suffered as the "middle child."

I think given your kids ages, it will be an easier transition than some people.

I had a harder time BOTH times I added a second child, than I did adding my third (you may recall I have two much older now-adult boys, then two younger boys age 6 and 4 1/2, and then my daughter who is nearly 2). She was an easy baby and my 4 year old is a laid back type of fellow. Whereas both my first son and third son are rather intense and were not super pleased with the appearance of DS 2/4. So partly temperament as well.

I found going from 2-3 was harder. My oldest is 5 1/2 years older than my middle daughter and then I had another daughter 17 months after my middle. It was a challenge in the beginning and now sometimes but I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. My life is blessed with 3 beautiful girls.

very interesting comments.

From 1-2 was very hard. My baby Ds2 cried a lot. Bad nights. And after 4 months my todler began to create his own will.
We got the third 20 months after the second and prepared ourself for a heavy year! (He was totally planned btw)
He is such an easy child! Ds 2 had his moments of difficulties but is very sweet and easy too.
Our eldest is still the one taking the most of our energy.

Slightly worried if the 4th makes it harder. But the boys are a bit older now. And I just need to relax! Lol.