Had my baby

I had my GD baby, he's 3 weeks old now. He's wonderful, I'm in love with him and so happy. I feel proud of my family.

I've been doing great but am a little worried about having a setback. My sister is finding out today what she's having. I'm definitely at a point where it doesn't hurt when I hear about most people having girls, but because of my relationship with her and because of the kind of person and mom she is I do think I'll feel some resentment. I'm trying to remain positive and I know I'm strong enough to deal with it, but I can't help but really, really want her to have a boy. It makes me feel terrible because I do think she'll have some GD if she does (she did with her second son).

Well, I just needed to put these thoughts out there...I'm dreading the phone call. I hope I can at least fake some enthusiasm if it's a girl or be sensitive to her feelings if it's a boy.

I know how you feel. While still in the hopspital after DD3, my sister texted me that she was having a boy. The ironic thing was is that she really wanted a girl and here I had 3 of them and she knew I wanted a boy. I felt bad for both of us!

She just texted...it's a girl. Of course. My heart stopped when I got the text.

I don't even know how I feel right now. I'm just in shock.

Oh, man. It always seems to go that way, doesn't it? Does she know about your feelings? Is she empathetic at all?

It took me a long time to be able to be okay with my sister's son because I wanted one so badly. He turned out to be such a difficult baby, in the end I ended up feeling sorry for her.

Just give yourself some time.

Thank you. She and I have talked about it a little bit and I do think she's sensitive and understanding of my feelings. I do worry that she'll become a smug girl mom now though, lol. I feel a little bit like I've lost her somewhat as we were both all boy moms for so long.

I think I'm going to be okay. I called my husband and totally broke down crying, but I think it was a good thing. He was so sweet about it. After that I was able to tell my kids and a few other people without showing any sadness. I'm even looking at girly things I can buy.

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Originally Posted by Halah

Thank you. She and I have talked about it a little bit and I do think she's sensitive and understanding of my feelings. I do worry that she'll become a smug girl mom now though, lol. I feel a little bit like I've lost her somewhat as we were both all boy moms for so long.

I think I'm going to be okay. I called my husband and totally broke down crying, but I think it was a good thing. He was so sweet about it. After that I was able to tell my kids and a few other people without showing any sadness. I'm even looking at girly things I can buy.

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I did go shopping for my sister's baby too. It was nice to venture to the other side for a real reason for once. It sounds like she will talk softly but I hope one day she is able to be rejoiceful for you should you decide to try again someday.

So sorry your hurting right now xoxoxoxox

I totally feel your pain. My sister got two boys after her daughter, and I have never gotten over it. I have GBG but was hoping for a boy with my 3rd, and it has been SO hard to be around my sister and her baby boy. It doesn't help that he is absolutely gorgeous and super sweet. If he had been difficult, I would feel a little better about it, but he seems to be totally perfect in every way, which makes my GD that much worse.

It sounds like your sister is sensitive to your feelings, which is great. Mine is not. She thinks I am ridiculous for caring about gender, and is totally unsympathetic, and even goes out of her way to say how great her boys are all the time. She has a competitive streak, and I hate that she has this thing to hold above me.

Congrats on your baby boy, by the way! I would have loved to have 3 boys! I think you are really lucky. :)

Thank you! He's actually my 4th boy. And he really is so precious. As my husband said, she may have gotten a girl but no ones kids are cuter than ours, haha.

HAHA that's a good way to look at it ;)

Halah, congrats on your son! I am glad to hear you are in lovey land with him already. I am sorry to hear about your sis....I also totally know how it feels to be anticipating hearing what others are having and hoping they don't get their dg. It is really hard, and totally natural to feel that way. I have had 2 m/c this year, so I almost get a bit jealous when I hear people are pg at all! The only pg friend I have IRL who I want to have her dg is a friend who also struggled for a couple of years to get pg. My weird little heart thinks she deserves her boy (she has a girl and is only having 2). My ex-husband and his new wife are pg now, and of course, due right when I would have been with my last m/c, and I am sure they hope it's a boy. And I'm sure my daughters will tell me in the next few weeks that they are having a boy. I am gearing my heart up for that already. I guess that's why I wanted to reply....just to say I know how you feel and hope you are doing ok. Just know that you are indeed SUPER lucky to have 4 wonderful healthy kids, what a blessing!

Thank you LolainLove. I hope that your ex has a girl, or that you find peace in them having a boy.

And you're right, I'm very blessed. I keep looking at my little guy and I can't imagine him being anything other than who he is. He's a dream. I will have to post a pic sometime soon. :)

LOVE to see a pic! You are so right, after you have your baby and see him/her grow into the lovely little person they become, you cannot possibly imagine them being someone else. I'll have to post back when I hear the dreaded news, LOL. I am just assuming its a boy so I don't get upset. Thanks!

I can understand what you are sort of going through. My SIL which is a snob had twins last October Boy/Girl. My heart sunk to the ground when my husband was talking to her on the phone last July and I heard him say she was having a boy and a girl. We have moved pretty far away, but she is coming to visit this fall and my heart about sunk again this weekend when we got the call they are coming for a week.

Part of the hurt with her is when my husband told her (which I was pissed, that I was a little upset about my 3rd one being a boy right after the ultrasound) she said to him "well at least she can have kids." At the time, she was having a hard time conceiving. After that conversation she knows I have somewhat of an insecurity about not having a daughter and I have this feeling her and her husband will be displaying the girl like a princess (they are just like that). I just don't know if I can handle that for a week:sad:. Thank God my kids will be starting school that week. I can at least escape the house for a little while.

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Originally Posted by Halah

Thank you LolainLove. I hope that your ex has a girl, or that you find peace in them having a boy.

And you're right, I'm very blessed. I keep looking at my little guy and I can't imagine him being anything other than who he is. He's a dream. I will have to post a pic sometime soon. :)

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I'm sure he absolutely gorgeous! :o
You're so lucky to have a family member who is sensitive to you feelings. Are you planning to have any more in the future? Who knows, perhaps you may have daughter to join your four sweet sons :awe:.

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Originally Posted by Myloves

I'm sure he absolutely gorgeous! :o
You're so lucky to have a family member who is sensitive to you feelings. Are you planning to have any more in the future? Who knows, perhaps you may have daughter to join your four sweet sons :awe:.

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Maybe, I haven't given up yet. :)

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Originally Posted by Halah

Maybe, I haven't given up yet. :)

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That's great to hear! I love your attitude - stay positive, hunny. :D

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Originally Posted by Halah

Thank you! He's actually my 4th boy. And he really is so precious. As my husband said, she may have gotten a girl but no ones kids are cuter than ours, haha.

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Sounds to me like you have a great husband AND great kids! Hope you're doing better and better with the news as the days pass.

I can relate. I have a SIL who had a girl after 2 boys while I have 4 boys. My SIL can be a total snob about it (not saying your sister will be the same) but I have to wonder why my SIL had a girl when she's so snotty and i KNOW if I had a girl and she didn't I wouldn't rub it in her face. I just don't do that kind of stuff. She's always telling me what a special bond her dd has with her dh and that "there's just something about having a daughter" that's so wonderful. Why would she say this stuff to me - a boy mom? I don't get it. On the other hand I have 2 sisters, one who has 2 girls and 3 boys and she would never dream of being snotty about it to me. In fact she tries to say "trust me, if you have girls you're just going to have to spend more money when you go shopping" to perk me up about not having a dd, lol. Anyway, hopefully your sister is sensitive to your feelings and not a total asshat like my SIL is.

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Originally Posted by 4BlueLooking4Pink

I have a SIL who had a girl after 2 boys while I have 4 boys. My SIL can be a total snob about it (not saying your sister will be the same) but I have to wonder why my SIL had a girl when she's so snotty and i KNOW if I had a girl and she didn't I wouldn't rub it in her face. I just don't do that kind of stuff. She's always telling me what a special bond her dd has with her dh and that "there's just something about having a daughter" that's so wonderful. Why would she say this stuff to me - a boy mom? I don't get it.

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I just don't understand why people are so cruel. I am afraid I would have nothing to do with someone like that, family or not. You are very generous to put up with her.

I can also relate to how you feel, first of all you are blessed with four boys and a great husband, however I know your heart is praying for that pink bundle to join u one day, it will happen so enjoy what you have now till she makes her entrance into your world.
Second of all, I get The worst comments from MY OWN SISTER, she knows how much I wanted DD2 to be a boy we were both due with our second babies two months a part, she had her second son which she wanted badly and I had my second DD which I did not. So she keeps telling me that I HAVE to keep trying till I get that boy so when I get old and sick and I can't find food to eat or a place to stay then my BOY would help out, HAAAA!!!! I know and I am the one who owns a house almost paid off done with my masters and I have no debt have a great job on the other hand she lives in the worst neighborhood, did not even finish her BS, no work nothing , but it is sooo sad that this why she thinks of boys. It kills me when she say that. And she keeps saying you know what happens with girls they get married and move a way and u will get nothing from them WTF what era are you living in 1920s gosh she bothers me so much but my mom who know about me going to HT and how I feel about my stupid sister tells to ignore her totally.
I would never see my self without my girls as well I can't see my self without having a son, don't let anybody brings you done about something that is out of your control . In my stupid culture and tradition mothers of only boys is looked at as a GODDESS and mothers of only girls so looked down at. Good luck to you and big congrats on having your fourth boy :)

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Originally Posted by 4BlueLooking4Pink

I can relate. I have a SIL who had a girl after 2 boys while I have 4 boys. My SIL can be a total snob about it (not saying your sister will be the same) but I have to wonder why my SIL had a girl when she's so snotty and i KNOW if I had a girl and she didn't I wouldn't rub it in her face. I just don't do that kind of stuff. She's always telling me what a special bond her dd has with her dh and that "there's just something about having a daughter" that's so wonderful. Why would she say this stuff to me - a boy mom? I don't get it. On the other hand I have 2 sisters, one who has 2 girls and 3 boys and she would never dream of being snotty about it to me. In fact she tries to say "trust me, if you have girls you're just going to have to spend more money when you go shopping" to perk me up about not having a dd, lol. Anyway, hopefully your sister is sensitive to your feelings and not a total asshat like my SIL is.

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This is sad to hear! You are just as special as your SIL with your four boys! :awe: And four big brothers with a :pray: baby sister at the end sounds so sweet to me! :love:

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Originally Posted by Twinboysplz

I would never see my self without my girls as well I can't see my self without having a son, don't let anybody brings you done about something that is out of your control . In my stupid culture and tradition mothers of only boys is looked at as a GODDESS and mothers of only girls so looked down at. Good luck to you and big congrats on having your fourth boy :)

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Honey I know how you feel! And I have two sons! My culture is very similar (even though I live in a country where the average person is gender-neutral). My sons are still favored in my family over my daughter and it makes me upset :( ...

For what it's worth - I think you have one of the best family make-ups ever. Although I am now happy with my family of 2 boys and 1 girl, it took me a long time to get to this point because I always saw myself with two or three DDs. And hopefully when you HT goes well, you'll have a son to join your family. I think two girls and 1 boy sounds perfect!

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Originally Posted by 4BlueLooking4Pink

I can relate. I have a SIL who had a girl after 2 boys while I have 4 boys. My SIL can be a total snob about it (not saying your sister will be the same) but I have to wonder why my SIL had a girl when she's so snotty and i KNOW if I had a girl and she didn't I wouldn't rub it in her face. I just don't do that kind of stuff. She's always telling me what a special bond her dd has with her dh and that "there's just something about having a daughter" that's so wonderful. Why would she say this stuff to me - a boy mom? I don't get it. On the other hand I have 2 sisters, one who has 2 girls and 3 boys and she would never dream of being snotty about it to me. In fact she tries to say "trust me, if you have girls you're just going to have to spend more money when you go shopping" to perk me up about not having a dd, lol. Anyway, hopefully your sister is sensitive to your feelings and not a total asshat like my SIL is.

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I'm sorry your SIL is like that. I think people who have to act superior about things that they really have no control over are just very insecure.

My sister has been okay. She's said and done a few things that have hurt my feelings though, almost like she's trying to rub it in and make me jealous. It's frustrating because I feel like I'm doing a good job of counting my blessings and not being jealous. Like I said though, I think it speaks to her own insecurities more than anything. She's struggling right now with other issues so I'm just trying to be supportive. I might need to step back though and try and avoid her for a while. I was over there today and she immediately pulled out all the new girly things she bought.

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Originally Posted by Twinboysplz

I can also relate to how you feel, first of all you are blessed with four boys and a great husband, however I know your heart is praying for that pink bundle to join u one day, it will happen so enjoy what you have now till she makes her entrance into your world.
Second of all, I get The worst comments from MY OWN SISTER, she knows how much I wanted DD2 to be a boy we were both due with our second babies two months a part, she had her second son which she wanted badly and I had my second DD which I did not. So she keeps telling me that I HAVE to keep trying till I get that boy so when I get old and sick and I can't find food to eat or a place to stay then my BOY would help out, HAAAA!!!! I know and I am the one who owns a house almost paid off done with my masters and I have no debt have a great job on the other hand she lives in the worst neighborhood, did not even finish her BS, no work nothing , but it is sooo sad that this why she thinks of boys. It kills me when she say that. And she keeps saying you know what happens with girls they get married and move a way and u will get nothing from them WTF what era are you living in 1920s gosh she bothers me so much but my mom who know about me going to HT and how I feel about my stupid sister tells to ignore her totally.
I would never see my self without my girls as well I can't see my self without having a son, don't let anybody brings you done about something that is out of your control . In my stupid culture and tradition mothers of only boys is looked at as a GODDESS and mothers of only girls so looked down at. Good luck to you and big congrats on having your fourth boy :)

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Thank you and good luck with your HT journey.

I have to say that I love what you said about women with all boys being seen as goddesses, lol. Right before I had my baby I went to get a pedicure and the man who did it was so impressed that I was having my 4th son. He kept telling me it was very good luck. It made me feel so good.

Congrats on your new baby! You truly have the right attitude and a great husband. It sounds like you and your sister have a strong relationship and she will understand how you feel.

I found out last week im having baby girl #3. My SIL is currently TTC (she has 1 daughter & REALLY wants a boy, as did we with this pregnancy) so i know once she gets pregnant & finds out shell get a boy...she always seems to get what she wants. I know ill feel a tad jealous seeing her buy boy things, etc. But ill have my 3 girls to get me thru it :)

That's definitely a good way to look at it :) xx

Just wanted to say huge congratulations on the safe arrival of your baby boy, and some huge hugs to hearing your sisters news. I know when my sisters come to have families they WILL have girls because they dont mind what they have. I am currently pregnant again and am sure all going well I will be posting the arrival of my fourth boy......i wish everyone could get a break and get their DG xx x

Halah congrats on your baby boy!!

I was sick to my stomach when my sister went for her ultrasound, I thought she'd get a boy after 2 girls, but I was so relieved when she said its a girl, I know its sounds terrible, but I know she'll be feeling the same way when I go for my gender scan & I know she's hoping I get another girl.

Dd1 :ballerina: Dd2 :giggle: & OMG Im :pregnant:

(((hugs)))

My sister has one boy nad then two girls. It pissed me off both times when she got girls. Especially the second time because it was a surprise pregnancy and she was SO upset about being pregnant and then just got lucky and got girl #2 (which is what she wanted). The worst part was after the ultrasound. She called me and said "well, it's a............(long pause like I was supposed to get all excited) A GIRL!!!" OMG I got off the phone immediately and broke down.

So, I understand how you are feeling.