I'm having my third boy :(

I never thought I'd end up posting here , but no one understands what I'm going thru. My mom tells me I just need to get over it , but it's not that easy. Everyone is all like as long as the baby is healthy, and of course that's the main priority but I'm so hurt and depressed! I already have two boys , 2 and 4. I elected to pay for an early ultrasound because I just knew this baby was a girl! I had that gut feeling that I would finally get my girl. It's a diff father than my last two and we both wanted a girl ever so badly! I don't want to have 4 children, but now I can't stop thinking about trying for my next. I'm scared that I can't possibly bare going thru this 4 times! I saw the gender on the ultrasound before she even said anything and I told her she didn't have to tell me , I've already seen it! Everyone around me is having girls and I can't even stand to look at people with daughters without making me sick! I'm grieving over something I never had to begin with. All I've ever dreamed of is having that little girl and I feel like I will never have her. I keep hoping they were wrong and he will turn into a she but I know that will never happen. It's final, I'm having my third boy! And I've been crying since Wednesday. Dh is so upset too! I know I will love him the same but I'm so heartbroken! My mom is upset that I feel this way and she thinks I'm overreacting.. It just hurts so bad, I see everyone with mixed genders and here I am with three boys! Will I ever have a daughter :(Attachment 18895

I obviously haveng been on here in awhile , I never got around to swaying for pink, me and dh split up

I'm so sorry. I was going to suggest HT for a 4th but I am sorry that you and your husband have parted. Any hope for reconciliation?

We haven't been together for almost two years, he's the father of my first two boys. New father this time, we've been together for a year and 3 months. Probably could have worded that a little better. Ht ? I haven't been on here in awhile , I haven't familiarized myself with everything just yet.

HT= High tech. As in elective IVF with PGD for gender selection. 99% accuracy but costs about $15,000 per cycle.

Oh my, I couldn't afford that if I wanted too lol. I've read about ericcsson method, but I hear it's only a 75% success rate.. Although that's more in my price range. I have a lot of time to research and figure out what is best for our family, I don't plan on trying for Atleast 4-5 years. But I feel like I won't be complete until I get my little princess

Erickson statistics are all over the map-60-75% which really isn't that great seeing as men make 50/50 sperm anyway.

I sobbed when I found out ds3 was a he. I swayed on ig for him and felt I surely deserved a break as it was a long 11 months. I bought really gorgeous bedding for him, new clothes despite saving everything from my other 2 .... All the things a daughter would have gotten for just being a girl, he deserved it too. After a few days the sobbing was just replaced by sadness. But that went, I bonded with him in my tummy and when my gorgeous blond blue eyed bubs arrived I was totally smitten. You will be too. It'll take time to grieve over your dream but I'm sure you'll feel better soon. I did. Xx

we are getting very similar success rates with swaying as with Ericsson.

I'm so sorry you're feeling down, I hope that it gets better for you soon.

:bighug:

I'm so sorry you feel this way, I can totally understand your feelings. I wish there was an off switch for wanting a girl. It would make things so much easier.

Just wanted to say you're not alone! I'm also having my third boy, and this time I thought for sure it was a girl. Keep hoping at delivery it will be a girl. But after 4 ultrasounds, and all 4 times they had no doubt, it would be a miracle from God. I love this little boy, but still find myself grieving for that girl. For us, we have to stop, we were planning on stopping with two but I know when it all comes down to it, I do not want 4 children, even tho I love babies.
Hugs to you and hope whatever happens you find happiness!!


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I could have wrote your exact words for my 3rd and I probably did actually!
This time I'm planning on not finding out til birth because it's hard for me emotionally to know the girl dream is over completely and I didn't care the second he arrived!
Time will pass and it will ease. Sounds like 4 isn't out of the question and I hope you get her then:)
I was done at 3 but we joked about 4, but i never would have had the guts to try again! But an oops happens, hoping it will be pink!

How are you feeling? I'm new here and my story is exactly the same as yours although same hubby. We found out yesterday that we are having anther boy. I'm so upset I can't stop crying and I didn't sleep at all last night. My husband is sad that I'm upset and I feel like I don't want him. I realy felt that this one was a girl as it was completely different and I was sick on and off. With my boys they were exactly the same and I don't even feel pregnant!! I feel like I'm sinking into a big hole. Mostly I feel so sad for our family as I feel like I've let everyone down.

Lisa, your feelings are completely understandable. I also felt like I'd let my family down with DS2, like I wanted to stop being pregnant, like maybe there was something wrong with me, as a woman, that I couldn't make a girl. I cried for a week, and didn't get off the couch for days. I felt so bad for both the son I was carrying, who deserved a better mommy than ungrateful me, and the one I was ignoring in my grief.

We can't help our feelings. I went through a year of therapy (medication free) to sort out my guilt at my gender disappointment. It really is silly, now that I look back at it, since no woman would choose to become depressed at the gender of her baby. We all want to be happy, and OF COURSE if we could choose to, we would.

Are you having any more, or is #3 the last one? Most of my anger and pain came from knowing DH wanted to stop at 2. It nearly cost us our marriage, but after a year in couples' counseling, we're much stronger now, and having #3. I swayed, but I know a lot of women choose HT if it's their last chance. It's something to consider.

For now, be gentle with yourself. You did nothing wrong. Your feelings are not your fault. If you need to, have your DH announce the gender and let them know, in no uncertain terms, that you were hoping for a girl and simply cannot handle any expressions of disappointment over your third son right now. That's what I had to do for DS2. It helped.

Just wanted to give you ladies a hug, as I have also been through this. The first few days after I found out we were having a 3rd boy I just wanted the baby to disappear. I didn't want to be pregnant, I didn't want to feel the kicks, I just wanted to sink into a deep hole, while at the same time keep a happy facade on the outside. It was so difficult. Luckily after a while I managed to "get over it" and look forward to meeting him. It always stings at certain moments, but usually I forget I have 3 boys, I just have 3 kids. My 3rd (as my 1st and 2nd) is a very sweet little boy and of course I wouldn't want to swap him for the world.

I pretty much wrote the same thing when I found out with DS3. I literally never thought it would happen to me. I was bound to finally have a girl the 3rd time right? Well now that he is here and 10 months old I am absolutely in love with him. I know it is hard now, but once he gets here things will change.