Help me plan my second month swaying!

So, after 2 weeks of many hopeful signs, af finally found me. Now that I'm on CD1 again, it's time to plan this month's sway. I have a big problem this month, and that's a trip we've planned to my family's cottage right around O time. It's a tiny cottage, and we'll be sharing it with my parents and my brother's family. We'll be sharing a room with all 3 kids (and possibly one of their cousins), so dtd is going to be very hard if not impossible.

Before I started Vitex, I always O'd on CD12. This past month, I O'd on CD14. Does anyone who had Vitex delay their O have experience with whether or not it will delay O again the second month taking it? If I O on CD12, I am officially screwed because O day will happen at the cottage. If I O on CD14 like last month, I'll O 2 days after getting home from the cottage, which means we could still dtd 2 days before O, 1 day before O then on O day if I choose to (which I might, since I really, really want to get pregnant this month).

Last month we did frequent BD - dh released every day starting on CD1, then we dtd without a condom every day from CD7 to CD13. Obviously, we can't do that this time around. The way I see it, my choices are:

-have dh abstain instead of doing frequent BD, then do one attempt the day before O (I'm over 35, though, and atomic suggests abstaining isn't ideal for older mamas)
-have dh abstain then do 2-3 attempts (which I know is not a good idea, right?)
-beg dh to release daily in the shower, even when we're at the cottage (the only reason he agreed to this last time was because I...um...helped him release every day :oops:. I fear that if I'm not helping, he won't bother, and there's no way I can have enough privacy to do it at the cottage), then do 1-3 attempts depending on when O actually happens and whether or not we're back from the cottage yet. If we don't get back until O-day (if I O on CD12 my one attempt will have to be that day. O+12 isn't an option because my older eggs are unlikely to survive that long.
-any other ideas?

Sorry for the loooong post, but I need to make a decision on this pronto so I can decide whether or not to have dh release daily starting today.

Man! So sorry AF came! I thought for sure you were preggers! :sad::tissue:

:think:So my first question for you is: Does the door to the room at the cottage have a lock on it? Maybe you guys could sneak in a quickie or two when everyone is busy during the day. :cool: Or is there a nice forest you two could abscond to? :wink: That might make it really interesting. I say BD as much as you can leading up to the cottage visit and then just try to have fun w/finding a way for you two to sneak off and get it on, lol. I completely know this is waaaaaaay easier said than done but you've got to try to take the stress away and make it fun. Think of the story you'll have when you get your BFP from your sneaky sessions...You will find a way!!!! You will definitely have to KUP!

Thanks, OotB. I do like your point about having a funny story to go with my BFP. Nope - dtd in the bedroom isn't an option. The cottage is TINY, the walls are paper thin, and with so many people staying there, there will always be at least one person inside. The other problem is that with water dangers nearby, etc., we're going to be having to watch our 3 boys like hawks every minute of the day, so I don't think we'll get any alone time at all, even for a minute. After the boys get to bed, the mosquitos and bears come out (we'll be in Northern Ontario), so dtd in the woods would be VERY unappealing. I wondered about maybe saying we need to go into town to run an errand in the evening, then dtd in the car somewhere. Even if we manage to sneak one or two times in, there's no way we'll be able to every day, so I guess I should have him release the days we can't? The problem is, he showers in the morning and that will be his only time he'll have enough privacy to do it, but then if we dtd in the evening will his sperm count be TOO low?

Oh, and another question: is it possible I used too much Sylk? I used a ton of it - as much as I would have used with our regular lube. Should I only be using a little bit?

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Originally Posted by Mochagirl

I wondered about maybe saying we need to go into town to run an errand in the evening, then dtd in the car somewhere.

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Now you're thinking! :wink:You guys need to be like top-secret spies on a clandestine mission....:cool: Hey, plenty of teenagers get preg in cars!

Here's an idea...it's a stretch but maybe you could do it: rent a cheap room in town and sneak away once or twice. I know...I said this was a stretch & it may cost $$$ you hadn't planned on spending and the logistics may be a bit tough but if you go into this w/a lighthearted attitude, you guys will make something work. I really, truely believe it! I'll keep scheming for you!

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Originally Posted by Mochagirl

Even if we manage to sneak one or two times in, there's no way we'll be able to every day, so I guess I should have him release the days we can't? The problem is, he showers in the morning and that will be his only time he'll have enough privacy to do it, but then if we dtd in the evening will his sperm count be TOO low?

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Hmmm...not sure if that'll leave too little sperm or not...

Since you are over 35 as I am (not that it's a magical # and after that you're doomed, lol) I'm thinking you might not need to worry so much about frequent release, especially if you're using girl lubes, the diet and other girl-sway tricks. Just a thought...I know it's scary b/c you don't want to screw up your sway but it's just my 2-cents.

BTW - Yes...I think it is possible you may be using too much Sylk, especially w/the rest of the swaying stuff. I know I probably used waaaaay too much last time and I'm planning on only using a bit in Aug.

Thanks again, OotB. I know dh will like the idea of clandestine sex. Renting a room won't be a possibility because $$ is too tight, but since we're only going to be there 4 nights, maybe we can sneak in two attempts and I'll have dh release the other two mornings. I suppose *maybe* I could ask my Mom to watch my two older boys while the younger one naps and sneak off for a "walk" with DH.

Are you doing frequent BD? Did you not bother with releasing every day? The biggest part of my sway is definitely my diet and resulting weight loss, but we also use low sperm count, Rephresh, Benadryl and Sylk. Maybe I'm doing too much to prevent myself from getting pregnant when I'm at an age where getting pregnant may be harder to begin with?

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Originally Posted by Mochagirl

maybe we can sneak in two attempts and I'll have dh release the other two mornings. I suppose *maybe* I could ask my Mom to watch my two older boys while the younger one naps and sneak off for a "walk" with DH.

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That's workable! Does your Mom know you are TTC? If so, she could really be a big help. If not, I'm sure she'd watch the kiddos for some alone time w/DH.

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Originally Posted by Mochagirl

Are you doing frequent BD? Did you not bother with releasing every day? The biggest part of my sway is definitely my diet and resulting weight loss, but we also use low sperm count, Rephresh, Benadryl and Sylk. Maybe I'm doing too much to prevent myself from getting pregnant when I'm at an age where getting pregnant may be harder to begin with?

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Like I said in a previous thread, it really threw me for a loop that I didn't get preg on our 1st shot since it's always been easy. I think there's so much swaying going on and then stress (unfortunately I couldn't control some unfortunate events) on top of that so it made it really hard this last time. I personally don't believe our current age of somewhere over 35 really makes it that much harder unless we're unhealthy or have a history of fertility going downhill around this age (just my :twocents:). I just think there's so much change and swaying that it's difficult but that's great for the girl sway as long as we omit the stress.

Last time, we didn't worry about timing/pH and did it 6 nights in a row w/shallow release. I left it in there (which is really gross:rolleyes:). I'm not sure when (or if) I O'd but it should have been great timing. I used a smidge of Aci-jel every morning and then used A LOT of Sylk. I found I had to use so much since I'm so dry now. My diet was okay but now it's a lot better.

This next time, we'll use the Sperm Meets Egg Plan, I'll be using RepHresh and just a little bit of Sylk hopefully. We'll probably stick w/shallow release but I'll later stick my Diva Cup in. I don't think I'll take Zyrtec. My diet is (and hopefully will continue to be) pretty tight. I think that's all I can do so I'll just let go of the rest and try to relax. I'm hoping this approach works for me. For you, it may be something different but if you go w/your gut, I think you'll get the best results! :HH:

I have been using and testing Vitex....

My cycles have always been 28 days. I wasn't using a monitor before vitex but the feels I had showed I O around cd 14-15. 5-6mths ago I started Vitex at 400mg once a day, about 4mths ago I went to 400mg twice a day. I didn't notice any chane in when AF started but I did O around cd11-12 (right where I wanted it). Just this last cycle because of many things I took about 6 about 400mg pill in one day and AF came 4 days early but I ran out of pills a few days before Oing and ended up Oing late.

With my next cycle (since I don't think I will get preg this time) I am going to take 800mg a day from AF to O only, I just have to go buy some more.

Thanks for the info, pp. I'm taking 800mg of Vitex a day. I'm going to hope I O 2 days late again, since that would make things easier.

OotB - I like your more relaxed swaying plan. I was thinking of dropping some parts of my sway, and I think you just helped me make my decision. I'm going to try to keep up the diet, but I'll use less Sylk, maybe skip the Benedryl and take it easy on the Rephresh (I panicked this time around and ended up inserting a fingerful right after dtd). I also think we might dtd on O day this time. I agree that if we were fertile before, we're not going to suddenly be completely infertile just because we're over 35.

I'm sorry this wasn't your month mochagirl. I'm happy to see you looking forward to this month though - only another 2 weeks until you'll potentially be pregnant!

I'm on my second month of taking Vitex (also my first month of taking Saw Palmetto). Last month I ovulated on day 19 and this month I just got a +OPK on cd12 - so who knows!!

I always think that if I get pregnant on our first attempt I'll be convinced it's a boy. Alot of the ideas around a girl sway are to prevent pregnancy afterall - we want sperm count/fertility to be low - and you did all that BDing right up until O so you were obviously doing the right things! I agree with your theory that you might want to drop some aspects if getting pregnant this time around is the most important thing. In my head I've decided to go with my original plan for at least 2 to 3 months before dropping aspects but you do what's right for you and only you know that.

What a pain that you're expecting to O while you're away - perhaps the stress of trying to figure it out will delay O! Failing that, I think bribing DH to release in the shower while you're away and sneaking in one or two attempts sounds like a good plan.

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Originally Posted by Mochagirl

So, after 2 weeks of many hopeful signs, af finally found me. Now that I'm on CD1 again, it's time to plan this month's sway. I have a big problem this month, and that's a trip we've planned to my family's cottage right around O time. It's a tiny cottage, and we'll be sharing it with my parents and my brother's family. We'll be sharing a room with all 3 kids (and possibly one of their cousins), so dtd is going to be very hard if not impossible.

Before I started Vitex, I always O'd on CD12. This past month, I O'd on CD14. Does anyone who had Vitex delay their O have experience with whether or not it will delay O again the second month taking it? If I O on CD12, I am officially screwed because O day will happen at the cottage. If I O on CD14 like last month, I'll O 2 days after getting home from the cottage, which means we could still dtd 2 days before O, 1 day before O then on O day if I choose to (which I might, since I really, really want to get pregnant this month).

Last month we did frequent BD - dh released every day starting on CD1, then we dtd without a condom every day from CD7 to CD13. Obviously, we can't do that this time around. The way I see it, my choices are:

-have dh abstain instead of doing frequent BD, then do one attempt the day before O (I'm over 35, though, and atomic suggests abstaining isn't ideal for older mamas)
-have dh abstain then do 2-3 attempts (which I know is not a good idea, right?)
-beg dh to release daily in the shower, even when we're at the cottage (the only reason he agreed to this last time was because I...um...helped him release every day :oops:. I fear that if I'm not helping, he won't bother, and there's no way I can have enough privacy to do it at the cottage), then do 1-3 attempts depending on when O actually happens and whether or not we're back from the cottage yet. If we don't get back until O-day (if I O on CD12 my one attempt will have to be that day. O+12 isn't an option because my older eggs are unlikely to survive that long.
-any other ideas?

Sorry for the loooong post, but I need to make a decision on this pronto so I can decide whether or not to have dh release daily starting today.

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You def. can have different O days month to month on vitex. You can't rely on what happened last month to plan for the next.

It's not ideal, but I would prob. have DH abstain and then do one attempt with 2 or 3 day cutoff. My DH would prob. die a thousand deaths rather than help himself in that situation.

You could possibly abstain and plan for one attempt, then if you don't O right away, release 2 times a day through O, throwing out the first batch and using the second batch each time. Maybe not the first day you get back...so release twice the first day and dump both of them, then on the second day release twice and use the second batch, again on the third day, and so on until you O.

The other option might be to go for a few really long walks in the woods and then do a quick "tick check" but obviously that is fraught with peril!!! "Oh hi grandma." :suprise:

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Originally Posted by Mochagirl

Oh, and another question: is it possible I used too much Sylk? I used a ton of it - as much as I would have used with our regular lube. Should I only be using a little bit?

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That is totally possible (Sylk even says on its website that it's sperm unfriendly and not to be used for TTC lube). Cut the amount in half for this month and go from there.

Thanks, Atomic! After a lot of thought, I think we're going to go for frequent BD and do the best we can. I'm so desperate to get pregnant this month that I'm afraid to leave everything to one attempt. I think we might be able to manage one quick walk a day most days, and there are certainly parts of the woods quiet enough for a quickie, and the other two days I'll either find a way to help him release, or at least make sure he has some quiet time in the cottage (bring the whole family on a walk or something while he has a 'nap') so he can do it in privacy. The more I think about it, there are only 3 whole 24 hour periods that we'll be there. If we dtd early in the morning on the day we leave for the cottage (it's a full day drive to get there), can that count for that day's 'release' even if we just dtd the night before?

Now I have to work on my other problem: how to keep to my diet when I have my meat-loving brother making all the meals....

Hi mocha, my ovulation was delayed even further on the second month of taking vitex. I wonder if I'm easily altered as after coming off the pill it has taken 5 months for my periods to return each time. I don't know if you've had this experience but maybe it is an indication of how easily you can be messed up. I would definitely bribe, beg and plead with dh to do frequent release. The bear thing did make me laugh, that would not be ideal!!! I think the car sounds a good option even if you can do it once or twice. I actually agree with zanacal that if you get pregnant first time it almost seems too easy and wouldn't result in a girl, like you didn't so enough to reduce your fertility etc. I read on quite a few posts girls comments that they thought the large amounts of sylk they used prevented bfp, i would definitely only use a little bit. I really hope next month is your month!!!!

Thanks, swish! My cycles are pretty regular - af arrived before ds3 was even 2 months old even though I was exclusively bf, and they've been regular ever since even though I only stopped BFing a few months ago...hopefully that means Vitex won't make pinpointing O as confusing as it did for you!

I think dh and I can make the frequent bd work. It'll definitely make him enjoy the cottage more if he gets lots of secret, sneaky sex - it'll be just like when we were first dating 13 years ago! :)

And I also agree that if I'd gotten pregnant first try maybe I would have worried that I wasn't swaying hard enough. However, I don't want to make it so hard to get pregnant that it takes months and months! I'm definitely going to use Sylk sparingly this month and I'll also be more careful with the Rephresh so I don't use too much.

Sounds like a good plan!!! My dh would think all his Christmases had come at once if he got to have secret sex!!!,:)

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Originally Posted by swish

Sounds like a good plan!!! My dh would think all his Christmases had come at once if he got to have secret sex!!!,:)

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Mine too, lol.

Yep, same with my dh. I told him tonight, and he was very excited at the prospect. I think the only reason he agreed to baby #4 was because it would mean lots of sex. I'm also fairly positive he was hoping I wouldn't get pregnant the first month so he could get another month of it.

Hahahaha that sounds very very familiar! Mine was actually disappointed that I got pg so easily with DS 3!!!

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Originally Posted by Mochagirl

Yep, same with my dh. I told him tonight, and he was very excited at the prospect. I think the only reason he agreed to baby #4 was because it would mean lots of sex. I'm also fairly positive he was hoping I wouldn't get pregnant the first month so he could get another month of it.

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HAHAHAHAHA! OMG this is my DH to a tee! He wasn't disappointed at all that I haven't gotten pregnant the last 2 months and I can tell that for the firs time he's actually enjoying the "trying" part of TTC:) Mocha- I hope that you find the time, privacy and sense of humour you will need while TTC on holidays!!! LOL! Keep us posted!

Oh dear, a real trend in the boy dads!!!! Make 'em knock back the liquorice root!!!!:bigsmile:

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Originally Posted by swish

Oh dear, a real trend in the boy dads!!!! Make 'em knock back the liquorice root!!!!:bigsmile:

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OMG, you're so right!

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Originally Posted by swish

Oh dear, a real trend in the boy dads!!!! Make 'em knock back the liquorice root!!!!:bigsmile:

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My DH was on it for 4 weeks straight while I was waiting to O last month...and by day 3 of sex he was begging to be done...so not like him! He would DTD daily if he could so it was a real change for him to have zero sex drive. That stuff really works!

It did work a little for dh but I'm not sure if his dosage should be upped next cycle, he will not like that!!!!

Hmmm...maybe I should get dh to start taking licorice root...except the only reason he's agreed to this whole swaying thing is the sex, so if he stopped wanting it as much, he may not be willing to release every day like I need him to. I guess it's not worth the risk.

That's my dilemma mochgirl. DH isn't keen on it (he doesn't want to mess with 'that'!) but I think I'd like him to try it and see how it goes.

Try him on a low dose and see how it goes. Mocha, it doesn't our like it's worth rocking the boat!

I wish I could get him to take it just so I could get a break! OMG this new work schedule he is on is KILLING me. o.O

You make a great point there Mocha...maybe the licorice root is best taken for couples who aren't doing a lot of other things to sway??? I think sperm count might be TOO diminished with licorice and abstinence, and then licorice and frequent release might not even be possible for many guys...

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

That is totally possible (Sylk even says on its website that it's sperm unfriendly and not to be used for TTC lube). Cut the amount in half for this month and go from there.

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Hmmmmm :think: Hopefully i didnt use too much :worry:

Just to update, the posters in this thread, Zanacal, Mochagirl, Doulamama, and atomicsagebrush did all get girls with or without LR (I don't think swish ever updated???)

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Originally Posted by squigglepink

Hmmmmm :think: Hopefully i didnt use too much :worry:

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Can you elaborate on this?

I used Sylk at attempt. But applied 3 times because I was dry.

What you may need to do is lose the Sylk and go to small amounts of Preseed or Conceive Plus instead.

Ok thanks. I thought Preceed was for ttc boy?

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Originally Posted by squigglepink

Ok thanks. I thought Preceed was for ttc boy?

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Not if you use a tad on your DH for comfort for BDing. You don't want to use an applicator full- that would sway blue.




[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2 [emoji602], & DS3 [emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart

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Originally Posted by XXforhubby

Not if you use a tad on your DH for comfort for BDing. You don't want to use an applicator full- that would sway blue.




[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2 [emoji602], & DS3 [emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart

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Got ya!!

:agree: Thanks XX!! Small amounts appear to be neutral and it is our go-to when people have gone on awhile not getting pregnant and need a lube. :)