It's worse when others have boys.

So after my DD3 when I was TTC#4 I had 2 miscarriages in a row and went on a TTC break then had several months where I was TTC and swaying and having no luck. During that time my sister, 3 SILs, and a whole bunch of my friends and ladies at church were all pregnant. One of my SILs ending up having twin boys and my sister and a few friends did too. Then I finally got pregnant with DD4 and almost no one else was pregnant, it's so weird! Well now this time around it took me 4 months of trying and 1 miscarriage before I gave up on swaying and ended up pregnant with this baby. Right after I found out I was pregnant while I was waiting to tell anyone, my SIL announced that she was pregnant to the family (due 10 weeks before me). Then only a few weeks later she announces that she's having twins. They haven't opened up the envelope to find out what they are having yet, they just have 1 girl who is 2 right now. But just today on Facebook a friend of mine that moved away announced that she is having a boy in May. Things like that just rip my heart out. She has 2 girls, and was a little upset when she had her 2nd and said things to me like she will probably end up having all girls like me. Now I look at her family and see she's getting a boy for her 3rd like I so desperately wanted. And I just wonder "why me?" I just don't think it's fair when that happens. :(

I know what you mean. It's like 1,000 times worse when you see other people getting just what you wanted.

Jealousy sucks. I struggle with it a lot, and I'm not even having more children...

I remember when I had DD 3 and a co-worker of my DH was having twins...wouldn't you know it, 2 boys after a girl first! It stings.

I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Are you going to find out the gender at your next U/S? I am so hoping you get your little boy.

As a side note, you have a lot of twins in your family! Are they identical?

I think I am going to find out gender at my next ultrasound, which will probably be on February 4th or sometime within 2 weeks after.

The twins I mentioned are on my husband's side and are all fraternal. So there's no way that would influence us having twins obviously and unfortunately, although our girls might. There are twins on my side, my siblings are twins, my cousin had twins, and there are 1 or 2 sets of twins on my Mom's Dad's side. But I don't seem to have inherited the gene to release 2 eggs. Maybe twins will be more fun when they are my grandchildren!?! I'm more excited than I should be for my girls to grow up and give me grandchildren. LOL! Meanwhile I really am enjoying them, I just want to experience having at least 1 boy too.

Oh, I'm with you, I'm SUPER excited over grandchildren...my son thinks I have a screw loose.

In some ways I think it might be more fun to get a granddaughter (or son) instead of have one myself anyway...because grandkids are like all about the fantasy...the shopping, the fun stuff...without the day in-day out downsides that would ruin my dream.

It always seems like people around you get your DG in a much great percentage than 50/50! I look around in my community, and I've seen a lot more all girl families than all boys. And I wonder why whatever was affecting them couldn't have affected me too. :(

When I was in the hospital, after having DD3, my sister went for her gender scan for her first...she text me "Boy". She wanted a girl so I knew she felt a piece of what I did but that was a hard phone call to make to tell her congratualtions with DD3 having just arrived.

I'm right there with you. We have three daughters... All of which we truly adore. I don't know what I would do without them. Now we are unexpectedly expecting someone new in July. I'm scared of having a fourth daughter as we desperately want a boy. Luckily no one around me is pregnant (that I know of), but I still have a few months to go and that could easily change.

I know how you feel. On IG on the January due date board there were tons of us with 2-3 of one gender that swayed for the opposite gender. It seemed like 90% of the girls on there found out they were getting their DG and only a handful of us didn't get what we wanted... it really sucked being in that minority. :(

I am having my third girl in July and I really thought this one would be a boy. It hurts a bit more because of a bunch of my girlfriends who have two DD's all had their third recently and they were all boys! I was hoping it would be me along with them but it isnt. Maybe next time.

I definately find it harder when you are pregnant and then a friend or an aquaintance you are is also. I drove my crazy on what gender they would have.

I know the feeling!! My sister in law (who my husband & I both cant stand anyway because she is just such a B*tch) is also TTC, they have 1 little girl & they really want a boy, & I know when she gets pregnant, shell get it. She seems like she always gets her way. When I see little boys I think how much fun it would be to have one of my own. I love my daughters more than life itself, but I think a boy would complete us. My oldest wants a baby brother too.

That WHY ME question is so hard to get over....I totally know what you mean. If I have a third girl, and this is my last child, I will struggle very much with that. The only thing that makes me feel better is when I realize that someday it will be fine and I'll be over it, and hopefully I will create ways within our family to celebrate the lot we've been given without feeling any lingering moments of the why me. Keeping you in my prayers, Lilac.

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Originally Posted by LolaInLove

That WHY ME question is so hard to get over....I totally know what you mean. If I have a third girl, and this is my last child, I will struggle very much with that. The only thing that makes me feel better is when I realize that someday it will be fine and I'll be over it, and hopefully I will create ways within our family to celebrate the lot we've been given without feeling any lingering moments of the why me. Keeping you in my prayers, Lilac.

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Amen to this. A friend of mine today who has a son just found out her current pg is a girl, and I was so jealous I was glad we were texting or I'm SURE my "I'm so happy for you" would have been very hard to get out. Why can't I have one of each?!? I actually am totally OK when my friends have boys as long as they have all boys, I tend to get uber jealous when someone has kids of both genders. But Lola, ITA in that I feel like once I'm out of the TTC/childbearing phase, I think I'll be able to settle in to what we have been blessed with and celebrate it. I don't think I will struggle with this my whole life.

ITA with you, too, TexasMommy - I couldn't possibly love my girls more and wouldn't change their being here for the world ... I've just ALWAYS felt like I would have a son. Always. And I've always felt like I would have 3 kids (in spite of really only wanting 2) so I just have my fingers crossed the 3rd is our son, because I'm definitely not up for 4.

I have to say I'm so glad there are threads and forums like this so we can commiserate and support one another. It's a tough thing to share IRL.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Oh, I'm with you, I'm SUPER excited over grandchildren...my son thinks I have a screw loose.

In some ways I think it might be more fun to get a granddaughter (or son) instead of have one myself anyway...because grandkids are like all about the fantasy...the shopping, the fun stuff...without the day in-day out downsides that would ruin my dream.

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I like that perspective re: grandkids, Atomic! I'm going to start thinking that way :-)

It's just hard. You want what you want, and we aren't talking which shoes we get for our special evening gown, it's our KIDS, so it stings. And I am also glad that we have this forum because I feel like a giant b$#@h IRL saying anything about hoping this one is a boy. I guess it makes me seem too desperate and vulnerable and ungrateful or something. And I'll feel worse if it isn't a boy and I need somewhere to vent!

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Originally Posted by begonia

I like that perspective re: grandkids, Atomic! I'm going to start thinking that way :-)

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My mother-in-law was only blessed with one child, she was told it was a girl, but he wasn't. She was the youngest of 3 girls and just thought she would have a girl. She has family heirlooms that belonged to her mother and grandmother and has always wanted someone to pass them on too..... she put a lot of hope into having a granddaughter. I would stop having kids now if my heart wasn't set on having a girl for her. I could hold the heirlooms for my possible granddaughter but it wont have as much meaning from me as it would coming from my mom-in-law.

That is a lovely reason to shoot for a girl, Purplepoet. I'll give you all the pink dust I can :-)

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Originally Posted by TexasMommy

I know the feeling!! My sister in law (who my husband & I both cant stand anyway because she is just such a B*tch) is also TTC, they have 1 little girl & they really want a boy, & I know when she gets pregnant, shell get it. She seems like she always gets her way. When I see little boys I think how much fun it would be to have one of my own. I love my daughters more than life itself, but I think a boy would complete us. My oldest wants a baby brother too.

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My kids are close in age to your kids... the other day while playing outside James saw the neighbor girl and said "I am a boy and your a girl" "I have a brother do you have a brother" the girl said "I have a sister".... James looked at me and said "can I have a sister"... I cried!!!

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Originally Posted by begonia

That is a lovely reason to shoot for a girl, Purplepoet. I'll give you all the pink dust I can :-)

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Thank You... I can use all the girl dust I can get! Not sure if I should send you any, are you TTC?

We're waiting a few more months but yes, we'll have one more! Dh isn't swaying as he truly would welcome a third girl, so this is all me. I wish I could be more like him though and just not care at all!

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Originally Posted by begonia

We're waiting a few more months but yes, we'll have one more! Dh isn't swaying as he truly would welcome a third girl, so this is all me. I wish I could be more like him though and just not care at all!

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Me too, Begonia....I wish I was like my DH and didn't care!