We are obviously swaying...hoping for a boy :) but DH & I are toying with the idea of waiting until birth to find out. I would want to know if my sway worked..but I also feel lile GD would be less if I found out at birth. Any personal experiences?
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We are obviously swaying...hoping for a boy :) but DH & I are toying with the idea of waiting until birth to find out. I would want to know if my sway worked..but I also feel lile GD would be less if I found out at birth. Any personal experiences?
I am not one for team green. I am glad I found out with this baby (swayed pink) because I was 200% convinced he was a boy and i would gave gone right on thinking so if I waited till birth. I think him being born a "he" would be too big of a shock and maybe pretty disappointing.
I went in thinking like you and was just going to assume it was a boy til then so no disappointment as I've felt during pregnancy for my 3rd and the guilt was awful!
However, my nt scan was so obviously girl to me and then I had the anatomy scab and saw even more things that looked girly that when I had to go one more time for a scan I decided to go for it!
It's been really great to know as it has helped get through a 4th pregnancy as I don't like being pregnant at all but had i found out it was for sure a boy, I knew I would be sad and if would be hard until he was here. Then I don't care:)
I'm one of the ones that had GD after the birth of my second DS. It took me by surprise as I thought I was OK with the possibility of another boy. There were a few factors that played into it though. I'd lost his twin earlier in the pregnancy, I was convinced he was a girl, his birth was very fast, he was a strange looking newborn, and I could see the GD in our families as well. For me it spoilt the first weeks with my newborn and I won't be doing team green again.
I also had GD with DS3 during pregnancy and I would say it was more severe finding out at 20 weeks but I feel worse about it ruining the newborn stage than I do about the month or so of pregnancy that I felt depressed. By about 30 weeks I was at peace with a 3rd boy and excited about welcoming him into our family. I totally would love to go team green and get my DG. That would be completely awesome finding out at delivery!
I think you need to examine your thoughts and feelings. What is best for you depends on your mindset I think. Like if you are convinced that you probably won't get your DG and have played out that scenario in your head and are happy with that outcome you will probably be fine. But if you feel you will probably be rewarded for your patience and you pack a bag full of clothes for your DG to take to the hospital and plan your birth announcement only for your DG then it's probably best to know before hand so you don't have to deal with such complex emotions at the birth.
All the best for your sway :). Take all my blue dust xxx
Interesting perspectives, thanks for sharing. Because I'm having twins and this will be our last pregnancy I want to know early to be able to plan clothing etc. ie do I sell all my boy stuff if it's girls
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I think this is one of those things where it may be different for everyone.
I waited with my first two and it was an amazing experience. I am so thankful, though, that I found out with DS 3 because I would have had it BAD with him, since I was so convinced he was a girl. I think I might have had a nervous breakdown (and only half kidding.)
ETA - I would totally do Team Green again NOW. But I think anyone with a strong gender pref. it's probably better not.
Nope. We found out. Every time.
My good friend went team green with her third. And it was a third boy. And she says now she wishes she hadn't. Because when they announced he was a boy, she said she felt her heart drop. And then had (and has) guilt because of that reaction. I would hate for that to be my first reaction to my child. And I don't think it's something you can really control. And I don't think it is necessarily something that everyone would feel. But I can tell it bothers her that her first feeling wasn't pure elation. So, if I had a strong preference, I'd find out. I am with covered in blue...I would much rather "ruin" a bit of pregnancy than "ruin" part of the newborn stage with GD.
We are doing team green this time. But I still maintain we might change our minds. Because in lots of ways, I do want to have prepared for whatever we get. I don't know if ill be disappointed and I don't want to risk that. We have a few weeks to decide. And we could always do an envelope for a while if we weren't sure at the sonogram at 20 weeks (I am just over 12 now). If I feel I'll have any ounce of disappointment, ill find out. For me, I just don't want that with my newborn baby. I love the newborn stage!
(But I also really want to try team green! I wish I had done it with my first!)
When I'm pg again I will HAVE to find out so can get my head around either way and accept! Better to have time to get used to what's coming!
I found out each time. I think when you have a strong desire for your dg it's too much emotionally to deal with the yoyo of emotions for 9 months. With ds2 and especially ds3 i would have felt very guilty and possibly depressed at birth had i still hoped for a girl on the day they were born. I dealt with my gd before birth. For that I'm grateful and eases the guilt for feeling it in the first place a lot. Had this baby been a boy I'm not sure i could have lifted myself initially but i would have got there long before my due date. However I'm not sure how i could have dealt hearing girl as a delivery room surprise, i fear i would have gone into shock, as my reaction at my harmony results saying girl was sobbing and gasping uncontrollably i was so surprised/shocked/amazed x
This is a really good point. I was thinking I wouldn't find out but finding out would give me a chance to process the information for both a boy or (hoping) a girl. Either way it would be easier to deal with (for me) when baby was still nice and quiet in the womb rather than with three loud kids plus a newborn. My hormones have enough going on.
I couldn't. Hell I dont think I am going to allow the tech to say the gender during the scan. Take the picture label it and stick it in an envelope that way I can go home and have my own reaction without worrying what he/she is going to think of me if I end up disappointed. I will need the extra time to get over myself and be able to focus solely on caring for a new baby and not moping with GD.
Wow, interesting to see the other side! We only have 1 child and were team green. I've been wondering about finding out next time, but I don't know yet. I just want to add that being team green with #1 was so great. I wanted to get neutral supplies so I could reuse things either way. I liked being able to connect to my baby in utero with no judgements or ideas, just to love it for existing. When the baby was born, it was laid on my chest and we sang Happy Birthday without knowing who we were singing to (we had both names picked out). I just needed that minute to recover after a natural birth. Then I lifted the baby up so we could see, and dh was behind me, like I was half laying on him, so we looked and found out at the same time, then he announced the gender to the room. It was so amazing. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. I like to think not knowing will help motivate me through labor. Just having given birth and having a sweet newborn to hold, how could I feel disappointed? If I find out next time, it will be because of curiosity, not gd because I still feel I would be happy with either.
Very well put Sageviolet!
If you will be happy with either, then I agree totally with everything you say. I was TEam Green with both my first and second sons and even tho I had the minorest hope for a girl with DS 2 I rem. looking down and seeing he was a boy and being overjoyed! (he is my specialest special special kiddo too and would never trade him for 10 zillion girls) It is super special but you have to be really really sure you're gonna be ok either way.Quote:
Originally Posted by sageviolet
I would love to get the surprise at birth but if I'm honest I'm not sure I could cope with the anticipation!
I also don't think DH could cope with me and the "what do you thinks"
Okay I think you just made me sure of my decision! I was wavering about staying team green Ignorance is bliss!! But I had a lot of girl guesses at my 13 week scan and my hopes are up a bit! whereas before the scan I had convinced myself it was another boy so I think I could handle the delivery room surprise! This time I have told everyone even my Mum we are team green but we are going to find out in 4 weeks that way I have time to adjust before having to tell everyone. Tough decision I guess we all know what's right for us! Xx
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What is best for each of us is not always best for someone else. You have to be happy with your decision after weighing all the pros and cons! You always can change your mind if that list of pros and cons ever changes either :D