Hopefully I posted the link right!?
To the lady ashamed of being pregnant with her fourth | Tales from the Mommy Trenches
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Hopefully I posted the link right!?
To the lady ashamed of being pregnant with her fourth | Tales from the Mommy Trenches
Thank you for sharing this
My friend sent me that when she found out she was expecting #4 and I loved it. (She didn't know we were expecting #4 a few weeks ahead of her! Lol).
I plan to have LOTS of fun with announcing #4 to the world. Because not only have we made NO secret of the fact that we want a big family. But also because I want it to be joyful. We got great joy out of planning and conceiving each one of our children. And while people may think "oh, she must be done, she has two of the same and then got the opposite for her third," we never actually intended to be done at three. And, frankly, aren't really planning to be done at four either :D
I think, in lots of ways, I am even more excited the more children we have because it is such an amazing thing, how vastly different each of my children are and thinking of all the different combinations we could get next. Not only in looks but in personality and likes/dislikes. It's like the ultimate Christmas present that you didn't know to ask for, but turns out to be exactly what you wanted/needed.
In truth, I feel kinda bad for people who react negatively to big families. Only because I tend to think they must really not enjoy childbearing/rearing. And while I certainly understand that finances and emotional support aspects are hugely important in deciding ones family size...and I have ultimate respect for those who know their limits and choose to stop, I can't rationalize anything but that those who make negative comments about large families clearly don't get joy out of children. It's one thing to be thrilled for others and know its not your path or that your family is complete with 1-2-3 children. It's quite another to ridicule a family who IS capable of providing both emotionally and physically for more children and thinking its perfectly fine to ask demeaning questions. (But, I kinda feel this is true no matter family size. I get irritated when people ask my cousin, who is one-and-done about her not having another. They picked ONE. Leave it be!!)
I loved it too!
I have never really understood people's negativity towards larger families either. I adore my 3 boys, which is probably why I want another child. A girl would be nice, but it really is a win win situation:)
My only regret in life has been to not have a heart to heart with my hubby early on about kids. It was this sudden bomb thst he dropped after we got married that he wanted NONE.
I always wanted a biiig family. .like 4+...so justto save our marriage and sanity, we botb compromised and settled on 2
you never know though even if you HAD the talk - my husband knew I wanted a big family and agreed to 5 before we were married and then reniged on the deal. It turned out he decided he does not like kids. Well, I understand he did not know that going in, but a bit late now. Luckily I was able to still make my 5 happen but he does do a lot of whingeing and whining about how much he dislikes having kids.
When my eldest two were tiny, my Nan told me that every child makes you poorer & in the same breath that a son is a son until he takes a wife blah blah blah. This was right when I was in the midst of bad GD & my Nan had a pigeon pair just to add insult to injury. She was never particularly close to my Dad & but never forgave him for moving away to my Mum's town to get married. I'm glad she's not around to comment on my life anymore :(
I don't know why my Dad is so against big families but he is & has said to me a few times that the best present I could get for DH is the snip. That really hurts when he's said that especially when DH was finished at number two. Thankfully DH isn't keen on getting the snip & I told him if he did without my agreement he needn't have bothered 'cause it would be for nothing. I've always dreamed of a large family 4+ but really expected to have had a dd by now.
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Like atomic we had the talk and DH wanted 4 kids.....until we had one! Then he didn't want another. Months of fighting and a 6 month separation years and years ago and i finally got my family. He gave up complaining after number 3.
I sensed a weird sense of relief after reading your response. I've always felt a 'burden' for making hubby meet me half way though I know he wouldn't have it any other way now
My dh was done at us having 2, then 3 but definitely now with #4 on the way!! He's got an older son so 4 boys and now a girl on the way! Thanks to atomic!! X
For someone who was so passionate about not wanting any more kids he absolutely adores the girls and loves telling people he has 5 daughters.
I love this too. Especially because she has 3 girls like me.
My husband would have as many kids I would allow. I'm the one who has to put my foot down. I guess he's not the typical man. I never would have imagined wanting 4 kids. Something changed along the way. Having a big family is more joyous than people think. You just don't know that until you have one.
My husband is very proud of our 3 girls also.Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess of Pink
Sooooooo jealousQuote:
Originally Posted by Janamomof3girls
When we were first married my DH used to talk about how he wanted lots of kids. Not anymore. He got all weird after ds3 and almost didn't agree to try for #4. He gets to caught up in his wants of materialistic things like a pole barn/man cave, a Harley, and so on. Most recently he has added an RV to "his list". I could care less about these things. I would rather have a couple more kids!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Janamomof3girls
I had always said I wanted one and MAYBE two. My DH would happily have had 10 kids, LOL. After my second, I wanted a third. Desperately. DH is only all too willing, but my old eggs haven't heard, lol.
Anchor I hope you get your third! Xxx
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I hope so too Anchor xx
Hubby and I did talk about kids before marriage. He figured 3. I wanted 4. So we figured we would work it out after we had three ;) And he knew, even before we had her, that we weren't done. I came into the room one night (after puking at like 10 weeks) and said "You know this isn't the last, right?" And he was like "Yeah, I know." Lol.
I sprang on him about 8 months ago that I really wasn't sure I'd be done after four and I feel like there might be another for us. I asked him to think about it. And he did, and prefers to stick to four. BUT, he isn't closing the door to it and seems more open to it the longer I go without really mentioning it. I tease that since we have five dogs, we need five kids :) Ultimately, I think he would "let" me have that fifth. But I want to make sure he is on board and not agreeing and then feel resentment. And I'm not sure how to do that. But reading some of those comments, maybe I shouldn't push. I guess our path will become clear. It's interesting when people change their minds, since its not something you can anticipate. But I figure, #3 was when I finally hit my parenting groove, why stop now?? Lol. I was a mess the first two and now I am comfortable and confident. I don't want to stop yet!
I've noticed some men have phases where they are concerned with materialistic things. I'm sure this will pass! Good luck on getting a girl!Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenB3blue