PP jerks

Last evening we were out with friends (only boy mom is me, of course) and the kids discussion came up. One of the guys there said "no more kids for me I got a girl, I got a boy"...I actually had to excuse myself from the table as I felt like bursting out crying. As I am getting up to leave one of my closest friends (PP mom) says " I would have been happy with another boy".

Two things. 1) The guy has it all, meaning others such as me and my husband do not. 2) I wanted to strangle my friend as she has no idea how she may have felt if she had another boy and saying what she did only makes me feel more guilty for my gender desire.

So moral of this is: I cannot even fricken socialize anymore with people because it all ends with this type of conversation and me trying not have a complete breakdown in the bathroom stall.


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Aww I'm sorry :(
People can be really inconsiderate. I think excusing yourself was acceptable, TTC is very emotional. Don't feel bad about your gender desire either, it's natural and hopefully one day you'll get to have a baby girl too :)

Hang in there!

I'm sorry bout how your feeling, with Some ppl I find it harder to deal with comments then other.
However I do think your friend ment it in a very sweet way! Not that she wouldn't want a girl or understand that your hurt by the comment. But that she feels your Son is perfect!

I hope you start to feel better soon.
Ppl's comments don't say anything about your children. It says there ignorant.

That is one thing that is still hard for me sometimes. My sister's friends (she is much younger than me so she and her friends are all just starting families) every single one had boy and girl and done. And here I sit with 4 boys over 20 years and have to do years of research just to get one measly girl LOL. They are all rich and successful and everything perfect and it's like, ok what gives, you know??

That having been said I do think that the guy was just a smug jerk, but i think your friend was trying to stick up for you there. Sometimes I think that no matter what, when we're in the GD mud there really IS no right thing to say, YK?? Everything strikes a chord so you have to look at intent and not content - I don't think your friend intended to hurt your feelings and probably was attempting to help by saying to the smug jerk, 2 boys are awesome too.

Not everyone is unhappy with 2 boys either (I was happy to have 2 boys, I was just greedy and also wanted a girl) so you never know, there are more than a few people on this site who have gender preferences for an all-one-gender family. My aforementioned sister really wanted another boy but got a girl. :)

Sorry you had to deal with this :-( I also have friends like this and its difficult at times.

When I read your post my first thought was.. aw bless her friend, I believe she was trying to stick up for you in her own way by saying whats wrong with boys and that she would have been happy with two, I wouldn't be mad at her, I think she meant well. As for the others, don't even give them the satisfaction of letting them upset you, what kind of a role model are they!! dissing one gender over the other!!
Hugs hun, I really hope a little girl is in your future, im sure she is :-) x

Really these moments occur and I am just overwhelmed with injustice! It's so unfair to be the one who doesn't have a mixed gender family! Thanks so much everybody for your comments. It means so much to me to know that you gals get this because nobody else really does.


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Pp parents just don't get it. There's nothing you can say to them to make them understand. They like to tell me that if I try again it will just be another girl or they tell me a boy wouldn't "fit in" with our family of girls. We all understand how you feel. It's rough. Luckily I don't care what people think anymore. It took me a long time to get here. I truly hope you get a DD next. Good luck.

Hugs!!! I know if I get pregs and have another boy I will feel like this on more than one occasion with my girl mom friends.

You did the right thing by walking away. I was VERY disappointed to hear boy especially on shots even other technicians went how the hell did they get boy off that? After I saw on a crystal clear 4D shot those unmistakable bits I bawled all the way home for the entire 2 hour drive. My family told me I should be ashamed of myself for being upset and my child would know that I didn't love it. I mean just absolute hatred being spewed at me from all angles. Now if I pop up with a stomach ache its "you're not pregnant are you because you dont need anymore kids" I'VE ONLY GOT ONE! Im preparing for that rollercoaster when they find out we are pregnant which wont be until we know the gender this time because I dont need that stress! They dont get it. My mom really doesnt get it I was adopted!! My husbands cousin is about to pop out her second girl. They wanted a boy and his side of the family SOOO sure she was going to get what she wanted because get this "good people get the children they want and deserve".... All glaring right at me when it was said. I could have shot someone that day. It really is a mourning process especially for those of us that are on our last like me. You mourn for the gender disappointment and then for the loss of the gender you will NEVER have. Its going to be rough for me if I hear boy but the gap is closing to get our DS a close aged sibling and my health going down the tubes! So keep your head up everyone here completely understands!

Ugh sending you huge hugs. Can't bear smug people like that - it is usually the bloke too I find! I really wanted the same sex again 2nd time around (as was so smitten!) And wanted him to have that same sex sibling bond....If I am feeling a bit fiesty I sometimes respond to that effect too! X

And did I mention that while I am enduring this torturous gathering of PP families I am on the LE diet and craving the largest, juiciest chicken breast I can imagine!?!? Oh it was a tough evening. None of them have any idea what an easy hand they were dealt!


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I must be pretty cynical because I think nearly every PP family believes in their own superiority and that getting both sexes isn't random but a sign that they've done some indefinable thing right. I think that's why they say things like "It'll just be another boy/girl," etc. They're just too invested in believing in their own superiority to really care how anyone else feels.

I think your friend was trying to be helpful, though. True, she doesn't really know what it's like not to have a girl but she does know what it's like to have a boy and was probably just showing you that she feels positively about them.

So true trifecta. That night I couldn't help but look around and think I won't ever have a girl. There needs to be somebody who is the boy mom, there is always all boy moms around and I just have this irking feeling maybe that will be me? Inferior!

And when I hear of two boy moms getting their girl I think "NO! Statistically there will only be so many 2 blue 1 pink moms so if others are becoming that there won't be any statistical room for me". I feel like I am totally screwed.


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Originally Posted by 2boysJustOneGirl

So true trifecta. That night I couldn't help but look around and think I won't ever have a girl. There needs to be somebody who is the boy mom, there is always all boy moms around and I just have this irking feeling maybe that will be me? Inferior!

And when I hear of two boy moms getting their girl I think "NO! Statistically there will only be so many 2 blue 1 pink moms so if others are becoming that there won't be any statistical room for me". I feel like I am totally screwed.


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I so get you on that Statistic thing. I know there has to be some all boy Mums but never thought I'd be one of the 'unlucky' ones. I'm in contact with a few BBG (my dream family since childhood) families lately and one being a friend and I think of how lucky they are to have lucked out like that in life and to get my girl I'm either going to have to have more kids than I really wanted and can handle without too much strain or strain myself trying to raise the money for HT and then go through this crazy process.

You seem to be really having a hard time lately with the whole no daughter thing. I certainly have my worser momments. Hugs to you and I hope we can both get pregnant again and have her next time :) Hang in there.

P.S I bet their girls are not as cool as your boys anyhow. I wish there was some easy thing to say to shut up people like that. I think your friend was trying to help even though there is no way she could understand but at least she was trying

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Originally Posted by 2boysJustOneGirl

And did I mention that while I am enduring this torturous gathering of PP families I am on the LE diet and craving the largest, juiciest chicken breast I can imagine!?!? Oh it was a tough evening. None of them have any idea what an easy hand they were dealt!


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Sorry, that made me LOL!

I remember seeing some numbers on here about the proportion of genders born? Like percentages of PP families, 2 boy and 1 girl families, etc. Anybody know where to find that?


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Was that off the main page somewhere?

In my signature, there's a link to the Complete Index and it's in there

Someone at work said last month "you're so lucky you don't have any girls" and then went on to tell a 'hilarious' story about her little daughter.
I had to walk away before the tears started. It was about a week after my HT BFN

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boom

Someone at work said last month "you're so lucky you don't have any girls" and then went on to tell a 'hilarious' story about her little daughter.
I had to walk away before the tears started. It was about a week after my HT BFN

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I hate people sometimes!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boom

Someone at work said last month "you're so lucky you don't have any girls" and then went on to tell a 'hilarious' story about her little daughter.
I had to walk away before the tears started. It was about a week after my HT BFN

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That's very rough! People can be complete idiots.


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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boom

Someone at work said last month "you're so lucky you don't have any girls" and then went on to tell a 'hilarious' story about her little daughter.
I had to walk away before the tears started. It was about a week after my HT BFN

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There is a lady that was friends of a friend with someone from IG and somehow, she ended up falling in with all of us who came from IG originally (some of whom never did get a daughter. She is ALWAYS going on and on about how naughty her daughter is and saying "does anyone want this little troublemaker" and I think she is either utterly oblivious or the cruellest person I have ever seen. I'm not friends with her but I see her commenting on people's FB threads and in a couple groups we both got added to. :( grr.

Oh I feel you on all of the above! Cut my friends hair that is having her little girl, today. It was tough especially since AF came this morning, so I'm clearly not pregnant. Yesterday I was getting and eye exam at costco and the optometrist began a conversation about kids with me he has twin 4 yr old boys and a 5 month old girl. Said how glad he was his wife had her girl, blah, blah, etc. I was like why are you continuing to talk to me so much about this?! Then say to me' your husband said you guys are going for a girl. ' ?!!? Had to go home and lecture DH about not telling people that!
I also think the same thing about the statistics. If it happens to e very one else it won't happen to me! Xoxo

We are invited to a one year old girls bday party tomorrow😞. I can't do. I just can't. I will be the only all boys mom and my heart cannot take it. How do you all handle this?i feel I like I am failing at being a normal mom because of this! I just can't do it. Not this one. This is the jerk who commented about his perfect PP and how they were done having kids and I hid in the bathroom crying at my own damn anniversary dinner!


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Atomic, That's a yucky thing for that lady to do!
2boys- I definitely think you shouldn't go if you don't want to!

People who don't have gd will never get it. I didn't get it until I felt it myself. It's really better to keep these feelings to yourself since they are culturally unacceptable. Fake it till you make it!