Am I the only one that is second guessing my decision? Cold feet?

Am I the only person on here that sometimes second guesses if we should have another child? One day I am ready to be pregnant and the next day I think maybe we shouldn't have another baby. I hate these back and forth feelings! We didn't plan our other two children at all - they just happened. This time I require Clomid, OPKs, charting, etc and it just feels... weird. We would love to have another baby but then I worry about money, daycare, etc. Is that bad or is it normal? We can afford another child but we would have to give up a little here and there (vacation, eating out as often, shopping, etc). And my oldest is 11 - he will be almost 12 by the time I would deliver if I get pregnant right now. Is that too big of an age difference? Sorry I am so all over the place. I should start my Clomid today and I am just scared/unsure. Am I the only one that feels like this!?!:nails:

I had/have these thoughts... I am afraid my boys will think I don't love them because I want a girl. I wonder so many things and I have many crazy thoughts. Hubby is excited about another baby. And is already looking for a new car so we can fit another baby.

For me no matter what my boys are my world... another baby no matter gender will fit just right. And this will be my first planned preg too. DS1 was a pill/pool baby and DS2 was an oops your mirena fell out and your preg. I wanted 2 kids and for them to be 3-4 years apart.

You are lucky you will have a 12 year old to help a little mine will be 4 and 2... I was 13 when my little bro was born and it kept me from wanting kids as a teen :)

So how do you decide if you are going to go for another child or not? (Tears) My husband is back and forth too.

Me too! I know I'll regret it if we don't go for it though and no matter what I'll never have any regrets once we know our new baby, be it boy or be it girl. I always think there's a reason why a human is pregnant for 9 months, it takes us that long to get used to the idea - and that's the same whether it was planned or not! All our boys were planned but I couldn't wait to do the whole pregnancy and giving birth thing again each time and couldn't wait to go on maternity leave, but after the last time I was happy that it would be my last and I'm also pretty happy at work at the moment so I think perhaps that's why I'm a little less excited at the prospect!

Shew! I feel better just knowing that I am not the only one that feels like this. I know if I was pregnant we would be thrilled and we would love our baby to pieces (boy or girl). We are just having a hard time making the decision to go for it! I am a special education teacher too so I also worry about all the what-if's in regards to the health of the baby. This is making me a nervous wreck - which sways boy!!!

You've just described my feelings :worry:

And if I may add, I do feel we are complete as a family but yet I want another. Makes sense huh?

But I think it's better to regret something I have done then something I haven't, right? Or not? :worry: +DH is sabotaging me bcos he always wanted only 2 and he prefers to be girl's daddy :worry:

Zivic,
That is it! I feel complete as a family too! But adding another member to the family would make us even more complete - right!?! I have wanted another baby for about a year now but was finishing up my Rank I and was super busy so a baby wouldn't have been a good idea at the time. Now I am not as busy and should start taking my Clomid tonight I am so uneasy/scared/confused/etc. I really think it is the whole planning a pregnancy that is getting me - if I was just pregnant and wasn't having to take meds to try to get pregnant I would feel completely differently.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Legacy_19

if I was just pregnant and wasn't having to take meds to try to get pregnant I would feel completely differently.

---

Absolutely! I was praying for an oops although it would probably be pink one with my 'girlie' lifestyle at the time and now it's like all this effort and money and 'what if's...and of course I'm worried about will I have another perfectly healthy baby like my gals...I'm almost 39...depressing LOL!

FWIW I'm pregnant with our 3rd and still second guessing :rofl: That said, once the baby is here with us I know it'll feel perfect :happy: But in the meantime I know I'll have many days where I think this is just crazy, having another.

Yes, we both waffled some during the year prior to actually getting pg. We decided over a year ago we would but kept putting it off ... and then finally just gave it a shot, but then once we saw the BFP both kinda went :suprise: I think it is normal for people who know what goes into raising a family to give serious consideration to whether or not to have another, and a good sign that you aren't doing this based on just "wanting a baby" again. Good luck with making the call ... I don't think it is an easy one!

I struggle with it every day. I can go back and forth a few times a day. Like an emotional and mental roller coaster. Can we afford it? Do we have the time and patience? What if it is another boy and I go through GD again?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by shouldihope?

I struggle with it every day. I can go back and forth a few times a day. Like an emotional and mental roller coaster. Can we afford it? Do we have the time and patience? What if it is another boy and I go through GD again?

---

That's exactly how I feel! Ugh...It's so tough! What tips it in TTC favor for me though is that I know I would regret it for the rest of my life if we didn't try for a 3rd but I don't think I'll ever regret trying for a 3rd once that pretty little package is here. Everyone we talk to who has only 1 or 2 kids says they are now regretting not having more. I'm an older Mama so I know now is the time and I want to also make sure our kiddos are close in age. Hope this helps and you find some clarity and comfort. :HH:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Out of the Blue

Everyone we talk to who has only 1 or 2 kids says they are now regretting not having more.

---

That was a big factor for me, honestly ... DH's parents said they always wish they'd had a 3rd (and they had BG already), DH's uncle has 3 girls and says all.the.time how happy he is they had 3. Like you OOB we knew if we didn't have one more we'd live happily ever after with our 2, but we would always have a nagging regret that we didn't have a 3rd. I just felt way too curious about who the next one would be to not go through with it.

But I can definitely say 3 is our magic number and we won't go for 4, even if we're given our 3rd girl :happy: Good luck making your decision, keep us posted!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Legacy_19

Am I the only person on here that sometimes second guesses if we should have another child? One day I am ready to be pregnant and the next day I think maybe we shouldn't have another baby. I hate these back and forth feelings! We didn't plan our other two children at all - they just happened. This time I require Clomid, OPKs, charting, etc and it just feels... weird. We would love to have another baby but then I worry about money, daycare, etc. Is that bad or is it normal? We can afford another child but we would have to give up a little here and there (vacation, eating out as often, shopping, etc). And my oldest is 11 - he will be almost 12 by the time I would deliver if I get pregnant right now. Is that too big of an age difference? Sorry I am so all over the place. I should start my Clomid today and I am just scared/unsure. Am I the only one that feels like this!?!:nails:

---

I think it's totally normal to feel that way even under optimal conditions, and then you throw in Clomid and the rest of it and of course it can seem overwhelming.

I had a 11 and 13 year age gap between me and my brother and sisters and I really liked it a lot. And I have (drumroll please) an 18 year age gap between DS 1 and DS 4! I waited 13 years between having DS 1 and 2 and DS 3 and 4. It's different but it's def. worked for us!!

Oh and just take it from one who knows, it's much better to TTC when you're young and still can rather than having regrets when you're really too old to try again. :( I would give my eyeteeth for a time machine to travel back and tell myself to TTC when I was in my early 30's rather than just ignoring that "I want a baby" voice and trying to be at peace with my first two sons. I still feel like someone is missing from our family. :'(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I still feel like someone is missing from our family. :'(

---

(((HUGS)))

I struggle every day with this as well. DH really doesn't want a 4th, but agreed to do it when he saw how important it was to me. We struggle with money - we have a good house and dh has a good job (he's a tenured professor at a university), but with one income we are house poor. Having a 4th baby means that money will be even tighter, so I have a lot of guilt about that.

Most of my friends are done having kids, so just as they are starting to experience the freedom of having older kids, I'm going to plunge back into the baby years. If I get pregnant in the next month or so, I'll have 4 kids under 6, which will be crazy!

However, having said that, I am 36 turning 37 and this is probably my last chance. I don't want to be 45 and suddenly realise I regret not having any more kids. I don't think anyone regrets children they already have, though lots regret the children they didn't have.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I still feel like someone is missing from our family. :'(

---

((((hugs))) to you atomic!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mochagirl

I struggle every day with this as well. DH really doesn't want a 4th, but agreed to do it when he saw how important it was to me. We struggle with money - we have a good house and dh has a good job (he's a tenured professor at a university), but with one income we are house poor. Having a 4th baby means that money will be even tighter, so I have a lot of guilt about that.

Most of my friends are done having kids, so just as they are starting to experience the freedom of having older kids, I'm going to plunge back into the baby years. If I get pregnant in the next month or so, I'll have 4 kids under 6, which will be crazy!

However, having said that, I am 36 turning 37 and this is probably my last chance. I don't want to be 45 and suddenly realise I regret not having any more kids. I don't think anyone regrets children they already have, though lots regret the children they didn't have.

---

I completely feel the same way!! DH didn't want to ttc again but he knows how much I do. I too do not want to be older and regret not listening to that feeling that I wanted one more baby in our family.