Hi All
Every now and again something will happen and I am thrown back into the abyss. My brother/sis in-law completed their perfect little family with a boy after having a girl previous pigeon pair perfect, just like that.
The first thing my husband said was 'I love you, and remember I too wanted a girl' then proceeded to tell me what they had.
I am upset, I keep saying over and over in my head this week I deal with my own demons and next week will be fine. I love all children, and my nieces and nephews are all beautiful and I am excited to have a baby in the family again. The thing I grapple with is that I feel so torn, true bittersweet I feel envious, jealous, happy, sad, stupid, selfish, and proud all at once and there truly are no words to describe it to someone who doesn't know.
Many people say to me that they wouldn't care if they didn't have one child (at least) of each sex, and all of these people have a child of each sex.
When we go out in public we are a regular freak show, we get looks and comments and I love them usually and I use these comments to boost me, 'Yes I have four boys and they are all awesome' and I truly believe that. Its days like today that when we go out and do the after school shop and I have the several comments about my family make up that are going to be hard, I know already. Days like today I feel like everyone feels the need to comment on something I don't have...I don't walk around and say oh wow you don't own a house, oh wow you don't have a dad, oh wow you have a massive NOSE!!!! just today I could do without the comments of what I am missing and pointing out the very obvious make up of my 'perfect' little family.
On another note, lately I have had about five people ask if the kids are all mine....then are they from the same dad........seriously I also had cornflakes for breakfast!!!
Thank you for listening......

